Ask 10 moms of grown kids what their favorite season of life as parents has been, and you’ll get 10 different answers. One thing they’ll all agree on is that time flies. When you’re in the trenches of toddler life, teen drama, or middle school hormone surges, the seconds feel like hours, and none of those hours feel like your own.
Most moms end up feeling like they’re sacrificing their own desires for their families’ and their own lives are on the back burner. But the reality is, just as there are different seasons of life, there are different seasons of motherhood, too. Your interests and free time change with each season, and knowing what’s to come could make the journey through this stage more enjoyable. Here are 6 stages of mom life and how to thrive throughout each one.
1. Newlywed With No Children
This stage of life, even for two-career couples, has a great deal of flexibility and margin. You work hard all week, but your evenings and weekends are typically free for doing whatever you want, whether it’s spending time with friends, volunteering, or pursuing other personal goals. Enjoy the freedom, and make the most of your time together as a couple, building a strong foundation for your marriage.
2. Mom to Babies and Toddlers
The bad news? This is a very demanding stage of motherhood in terms of hands-on involvement from sunup to sundown. The good news? It’s also a lot of fun. Sticky, cracker crumb-sprinkled fun. But this is not a phase of motherhood that makes it easy to have outside obligations or interests. If you need some stimulation outside of the home, take advantage of opportunities that provide childcare, like a church Bible study group that offers a nursery. If you work outside the home, do what you can to make the time you do spend with your children enjoyable and nurturing instead of hectic. Be sure to eat lunch with your coworkers instead of working through lunch.
3. Mom to Preschoolers
If your children are attending a Mom’s Morning Out group or preschool a few mornings a week, you may have a little more flexibility in your schedule in this stage. But be careful—those two or three hours go by quickly, and some days, you’ll need that no-kids-in-tow time just to complete the grocery shopping or get a haircut. So be selective about the outside obligations you take on and don’t overload the cart. If you’re a working mom, it’s important to engage with your preschooler when you get home from work. Put your phone and laptop aside and give your kids your best.
4. Mom to Grammar School Kids
If you homeschool, your schedule might not change much when your kids start kindergarten. But for families who choose all-day school elsewhere, this can represent a big shift in the schedule. Parenting kids at this age brings crazy early mornings and jam-packed afternoons and evenings. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, you may decide to go to work for the first time in a while, or you may invest those hours in volunteering or making your home a wonderful haven for your family. Either way, this stage brings opportunities for big changes, so it’s a good time to consider what you desire for yourself and how this new schedule can help bring that to reality.
5. Mom to Tweens and Teens
It might be tempting to believe our kids at this stage when they insist they just don’t need us as much anymore. Sure, your child should be acquiring the skills to take care of responsibilities on his own, but he still needs you to be engaged with him as much as possible, so don’t check out! If you fill your free time with your own hobbies because you think your kids don’t need you, you run the risk of not being there when they do. If you do want to take on more, what about volunteering where your kids are?
6. Empty Nesters
When your youngest leaves for college, it creates a vacuum that used to be filled to the brim with needs. This is the perfect opportunity to dive into those interests and opportunities that you never had time for before. Write that book. Travel more. Reconnect with old friends, and make new ones. Invest time in causes you believe in. And don’t wait too long. Why? Because soon there will be grandchildren, and you’ll shift gears yet again!
What season are you looking forward to the most? What season do you miss the most?
