There’s a skunk on my entertainment center, and it’s been there for almost a year. OK, it’s a tiny stuffed skunk, and it’s on a shelf that also houses a dusty DVD player. Mr. Skunk (creative, I know) was stationed there last year during a “buddy war” my sons engaged in while home from school for a hurricane day.
Sometimes, Mr. Skunk catches my eye, and I think someone really should put him away. But I’ve left him there to remind me of the day my kids had fun battling with their stuffed animals. Experts say unstructured play like that is fundamental for kids to thrive physically, emotionally, socially, and mentally. With sports and screens, our kids’ lives are filled with organized play, so it’s even more important to try one of these 5 ways to work unstructured play into your kids’ week.
First, what exactly is unstructured play?
My kids were forced into unstructured play on the hurricane day because I still had to work. They couldn’t rely on me to entertain them. That’s a key element of unstructured play—no grown-up direction or rules, just your kids taking charge and having fun their own way. It’s all about exploring and using their imaginations without needing a specific goal or ending.
My favorite unstructured play as a kid was setting up a jewelry shop with my grandmother’s costume jewelry and “selling” it to eager customers, i.e., my grandmother. There was no winning and no goal. Just fun. Talk to your kids about their favorite kinds of unstructured play. Then use one of these 5 ideas to make more space for play in their week.
1. Block out playtime.
We schedule what’s important, so start scheduling unstructured play. Treat it like any other important appointment—protected and non-negotiable. You might think scheduling fun is forcing fun, but it’s not. It’s telling the rest of your day that fun matters.
The benefit: The predictability allows your kids to relax and fully immerse themselves in the world of play.
2. Say “yes” more often.
Fitting unstructured play into your children’s week might be as easy as just saying yes to their zany requests. Even if their fort-building project seems precarious or their movie-making venture sounds outlandish, encourage their exploration with a “yes.”
The benefit: Research shows that saying yes to unstructured child-initiated activities gives kids opportunities to practice self-directed executive functioning like time management, self-control, and memory building.
3. Say “be careful” less often.
When we tell our kids to “be careful,” what we often mean is, “Don’t do that. It scares me.” Then, they shy away from play because they’re afraid. If you’re actually concerned that the trick your daughter is doing on her scooter could lead to a spill, say, “You’ve got this! Just be sure to hold on to the handlebars.”
The benefit: The American Psychological Association says risky, challenging play, like jumping from manageable heights, helps children learn to make decisions, calibrate risks, and manage emotions.
4. Unleash the cardboard box (or other loose parts).
My sons got new mattresses, and the boxes were screaming, “Play with me!” So we put them aside and a few days later, when my sons had time, they used Sharpies and scissors and turned themselves into robots. Cardboard boxes are a blank canvas for a child’s imagination, so stockpile them and let your child transform them into spaceships, castles, or even a grocery store.
The benefit: Free play with a blank canvas lets kids explore and make up their own stories, which is awesome for getting creative and figuring things out on their own.
5. Have unstructured playdates.
A friend of mine loves to organize get-togethers for her kids and their friends. She sets up scavenger hunts and cookie decorating stations. If that’s you, do it! So fun! But don’t miss out on the benefit of letting kids direct their own play when they’re with friends. Send everyone outside, and the next thing you know, they’ll be choreographing dances, conquering lands, or pointing out creatures they see in the clouds.
The benefit: Unstructured play helps kids work on negotiating, sharing, taking turns, and resolving conflicts—valuable tools for navigating social situations
Dig into your memory. What was your favorite kind of unstructured play as a kid?
