I love watching little kids on the playground. There’s so much giggling, spinning, hopping… I often smile and think, Oh, to be a kid again. Then I think, What happened to all of us? Why are all the formerly happy kids now not happy adults? We know what makes a child happy, so what’s missing as we get older?
It’s more than stress or not having the time (or the back muscles) to frolic around a playground. Author and CEO of Success Academy Charter Schools Eva Moskowitz says there is one important thing parents are forgetting to teach kids that helps lead to happiness as they get older. Here’s what it is and 5 ways to teach it.Â
Instead of focusing on what makes a child happy, parents should teach a child how to enjoy life.
Happiness comes naturally to kids. That’s evident if you’ve ever watched them eat cupcakes. They don’t care about calories, crumbs on the floor, or frosting staining their lips. But in an article published on CNBC, Eva Moskowitz says there’s a difference between enjoying life as a child and being able to enjoy life as an adult.Â
The mistake parents make is that we spend more energy giving kids things that we think make them happy instead of providing tools and habits that help them find or create happiness. Just like we want our kids to grow up knowing how to pay bills, boil water, or use good manners, we should also want them to grow up knowing how to enjoy life. So it’s time to be more intentional. Try some of these ideas.
1. Play simple games.
Both of my kids groaned when I pulled out Uno the other night. It doesn’t have the bells and whistles of some of our other games, and it’s definitely not as stimulating as a video game. But by the end of the game, everyone was hootin’ and hollerin’ and having a ball.Â
What makes a child happy and able to enjoy life as an adult is unplugging and finding pleasure in simpler things.Â
2. Choose experiences over gifts.
If I ask my kids about their favorite gifts from the past few Christmases, they’ll both mention experiences, like going kayaking with their cousins. Don’t get me wrong—sometimes getting a specific toy can change a kid’s life (I’ll always love you, Malibu Barbie), but an experience can give a child memories with family and friends.Â
Material things eventually fail to satisfy us, but experiences fill hearts and minds with special moments that last forever.Â
3. Practice random acts of kindness.
In Simon Sinek’s talk on the scientific power of kindness, he explains how acts of kindness cause us to get a hit of oxytocin, the chemical that gives us warm and fuzzy feelings. The act doesn’t have to be over the top. Something as simple as picking up an item someone else has dropped can do it. What’s more, even witnessing an act of kindness can produce oxytocin. Pretty amazing, huh?
If we want our kids to grow up to be happy adults who know how to enjoy life, we should encourage and enable them to perform genuine acts of kindness. They’re free of charge and can bring everyone joy.
4. Let them produce or create something.
In December, when our Nativity scene arrived in a flat pack, I pulled out all the pieces and sighed. I don’t enjoy assembling things, but my son grabbed a drill and went at it. When he finished, we had a beautiful display for the front yard, and he was beaming. The sense of accomplishment he gained brought him more happiness than if we’d ordered a set that was preassembled.Â
Being able to make something with your own two hands is a skill that leads to satisfaction and happiness and can build kids’ confidence and self-esteem.
5. Enjoy life yourself.
As much as we want our kids to listen to our lectures, most of what they learn about life comes from just watching us live. If every time they play, you work, how will they know that it’s good for adults to relax? If you never act silly in front of your kids, how will they know what play looks like for an adult?
Kids who see their parents resting, playing, and enjoying life will give themselves permission to grow up to be happy adults.
How do you show your kids how to have fun?Â
