“Can I use my mental health day today?” my 14-year-old pleaded in the kitchen. Unlike with a cold or flu, I couldn’t check for a fever. So, I read the temperature of the room instead. Her shoulders slumped, her feet dragged, and her eyes seemed heavy with something other than sleep. So, I said yes, granting her permission to use the one mental health day we offer our kids each semester. Almost instantly, a light switched back on in her eyes, and together, we made a plan for how she’d spend her day focusing on her well-being.
Mental health days don’t work for every family. However, it’s not the only way to teach your teen how to prioritize her mental well-being either. Empower your child by passing along these 6 mental health tips for teens.
1. Keep your room as neat and organized as possible.
As moms, we joke about the amount of dirty dishes (and clothes) that pile up in our teenagers’ rooms. And we aren’t wrong. They often live like shut-ins as their developmental need for privacy and independence grows stronger. However, encouraging your teen to straighten up her room does more than get those crusted plates soaking in the sink. Research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin shows that a clean and clutter-free space actually reduces cortisol levels and helps people feel less stressed.
2. Find reasons to celebrate.
Did he turn in that big project for AP psych? Order his favorite pizza to mark the occasion. Did your teen’s favorite artist release a new album? Crank it up in the kitchen. Oh, and did your teen drive to school by herself for the first time? Well, Mom, you can celebrate by exhaling that breath you’ve been holding.
We live in busy families. However, pausing long enough to acknowledge even the little joys in life supports your teen’s mental wellness by sparking positivity, boosting self-esteem, and providing motivation when school gets difficult. Plus, integrating celebrations into your family life creates space for your teen to strengthen his bond with you and other family members, which is essential to emotional well-being.
3. Set healthy boundaries with friends.
Establishing healthy boundaries with friends empowers your teen to balance friendship with mental health. In a relationship, boundaries help your teen identify and articulate what makes her feel valued, safe, and supported (and feel the opposite when a boundary gets crossed). It can be as simple as saying, “Hey, I don’t feel comfortable doing that” or “I need some space right now.” Those clear boundaries and expectations for her friendships will reduce the stress of feeling pressured to conform to others’ expectations.
4. Ask for help.
Of all the mental health tips for teens, this one might be the most difficult. A teen’s need for independence and autonomy can lead him to believe he should be able to figure things out on his own. Add in the fear of “looking stupid” in front of peers, and, well, it’s no wonder the hand never gets raised in class (or at home). Plus, as adults, we probably don’t model this one very well, either, unless it involves asking for help around the house.
Coaching your teen to ask for help can be a game-changer. It shows that it’s OK not to have all the answers and that reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. For example, if you see your child struggling with a class, ask questions such as: How can I help? What is your plan for figuring it out? Who would you feel comfortable asking for help? Does your friend understand this unit?
5. Process your feelings through the arts.
Somewhere between kindergarten and middle school, many kids stop dabbling in the arts because they believe they aren’t “good at it.” But it’s still good for them. So, don’t pack away the crayons, glitter glue, or blank journals just yet. Writing, drawing, painting, dancing, singing, or playing an instrument all give your teen a healthy outlet to express herself. And the process of creating gives her a positive way to manage her emotions, distracts her from her worries, and can help her overcome anxiety, depression, and stress.
6. Release the things you can’t control.
During the teen years, kids can often dwell on situations or outcomes beyond their influence, leading to feelings of stress, anxiety, and frustration. By learning to let go of these worries, your teen can free himself from unnecessary emotional burdens and develop a valuable coping skill. It’ll be one of those mental health tips for teens your kid refers to throughout life. If you see your teen struggling, ask questions such as: Is there something specific you can do to change or improve the situation? Do you have any control over what’s happening? Who does? What can you control in this situation?
What other mental health tips for teens would you share with moms?
