I can gauge the level of my daughter’s stress by the cleanliness of her room. Typically, our oldest teenager treats her bedroom like a spa sanctuary, except when she’s stressed. And this time of year, high school finals stress her out and her once-peaceful retreat reflects her inner turmoil. Crusty dishes stack up on the floor, clothes never quite make it to the hamper or the hanger, and her bedsheets stay tied up in knots just like her stomach.
I don’t like seeing my daughter struggle with stress, and straightening up her room gives me an obvious way to help alleviate her burden. It’s not the only one, though. If your teen experiences finals stress, too, consider these 5 approaches to offer relief.
1. Ask him what he needs.
In the early years, a warm hug from mom, takeout pizza, and outdoor playtime often offered much-needed relief from the stresses of elementary school. But the teen years are different, and your child’s needs have evolved. By asking your teen to identify what he needs and how you can help, you’re giving him practice at expressing himself and sharing his burdens with the people closest to him. Talking about his finals stress (and any other kind of stress) is a healthy coping mechanism and a lifelong skill. (In fact, it’s probably one of the ways you manage parenting stress.)
Heads up, though. When you ask your teen what he needs, he might simply answer: “I don’t know” or “Nothing.” Coach him to identify how he relieves stress by making suggestions. Maybe he’d love you to bake your special oooey-gooey macaroni and cheese, wash his favorite hoodie, or read over his essay. And, maybe, just maybe, he’ll say he needs a hug from you.
2. Bring her a snack or send a gift card for her favorite study spot.
During the weeks leading up to finals, stock your pantry with healthy grab-and-go snacks. Bananas, apples, nuts, cheeses, and popcorn are favorites around our house. And some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies with ice cream tend to be hot (and cold) commodities as well. Offer “room service” by bringing up a tiny charcuterie plate after she’s been studying for a while. A little plate with olives, a handful of crackers, and a few cheese slices goes a surprisingly long way at relieving finals stress!
Often, our oldest daughter prefers to study somewhere other than our house. If your teen does, too, then consider sending her a gift card for her favorite spot. It’s just a tiny way to ensure your teen eats well and fills her body with healthy fuel.
3. Put the exam in perspective.
With their still-developing brains, teenagers can tend to catastrophize situations. Contrary to what his finals stress may be telling him, one test score will not ruin his life. In fact, 10 to 20 years from now, not only will he not remember what he made on that calculus final, he won’t even be able to help his own child with fifth-grade math homework. (OK, so maybe that’s just me.)
All he needs—and can do—is to study and try his best. Period. Sometimes, the grade will reflect his efforts, and sometimes it won’t. However, he can’t do more than his best.
4. Encourage her on the day of the final.
Send her off with a good breakfast, and right before the final, text her just to let her know you’re thinking about her. Follow these tips, and consider texting something like this:
- I saw how hard you prepared for your final. You’re ready. I believe in you!
- I am so proud of you. I hope you recognize that you prepared well for this test.
- You got this, honey! I love you.
- Good luck with your test. I know you’re feeling nervous, but you’ve got this.
- Take a deep breath. You’re ready.
Need some more ideas on what to text? Our Encouraging Words for Kids printable works for teens, too. 
5. Make a plan to celebrate the end of finals.
Your teen studied hard and made it through. That’s worth celebrating! Make the celebration less about the grades and more about the process of him trying his best. Recognize his work ethic, his tenacity, or how he handled finals stress.
Go to an escape room. Get all the fixins’ for an ice cream sundae bar. Make a splash in the neighborhood pool. Go bowling or play a round of miniature golf. Thanks to our youngest teen, we started the tradition of lighting up the firepit after finals by using all of her tests from that year. You know your teen and family best, which means you’re sure to plan something to put a smile on everyone’s faces.
How do you help your teen handle finals stress?
