“My son doesn’t really talk to me much anymore—he likes to hang out in his room, listening to music,” my friend Julie told me. “Well,” she continued, “that’s only when he’s not playing video games or baseball or some other activity with his buddies.” My friend had two boys, and the older one had started to drift away. Maybe he was just getting older, I suggested. Julie shot me a look. “No,” she said. “There’s gotta be a way to grow up and still stay close.” I agreed, happy to hear she wouldn’t give up without a fight.
As kids get older, connecting with them might take some work, but it is possible. Here are 31 quick ways to connect with your busy kid.
Ways to Connect With Your Busy Kid Using Words
1. Call her by name when you see her.
It’s the first step to connecting with anyone.
2. Tell him he’s the son you always wanted because of who he is.
You accept him for who he is; all children should know that.
3. Tell her she reminds you of someone special in your family.
4. Call him on his phone when he doesn’t expect it.
If he’s in his room, you can call just to say you love him. He’ll be more likely to pick up in the future if it’s not a request to do something.
5. Tell her you love her beautiful smile.
6. Tell him he makes you happy when he enters a room.
I’ve started cheering for my kids when they arrive for breakfast. It always brings a smile.
Ways to Connect With Your Busy Kid Using Specific Questions
7. Ask her about lunchtime at school.
Lots of material here for her to share, including who she sits with and what she and her friends talk about.
8. Ask him what he does before the morning bell rings at school.
It can be an uncomfortable time of day. Aren’t you curious?
9. Ask her if she heard anything funny at school.
10. Ask him if he needs any new school supplies.
My kid surprised me by saying yes: new folders.
11. Ask her if she has any goals for the day or week.
12. Ask him if he has any good jokes or memes to share with you.
My son showed me some good memes when he opened his computer to do homework.
Ways to Connect With Your Busy Kid Using Touch
13. Hug him first thing in the morning.
14. Offer to brush or style her hair.
Some kids will enjoy the attention and the feeling of being taken care of.
15. Give him a haircut at home.
A 20-minute cut at home saves us time and money. Plus, my son and I get to bond.
16. Rub her feet while you sit together on the couch.
17. Invent a special handshake with him that only you two know.
18. Sit next to her in bed and talk, shoulder to shoulder.
Ways to Connect With Your Busy Kid Using Insider Knowledge
19. Ask about the latest clothing trend and see if she’s interested.
I noticed the teens at my son’s high school don’t wear coats in the dead of winter. Why is that?
20. Use a new slang term and watch his reaction.
What used to be dope is now savage. “Honey, getting an A on that test was savage.” Yes, you’ll sound totally uncool, but isn’t that the point?
21. Give her the scoop on school news.
You’re in the know because you read the school newsletter. There’s a dance coming up, and play auditions. Is she game for either?
22. Surprise him by referencing a video game or book character he likes.
23. Ask her about her friends.
Bonus points if you remember something specific like, “Hey, how was Natalie’s trip to Atlanta?”
24. Follow up about something specific he told you earlier.
Ways to Connect with Your Busy Kid Using Actions
25. Text her an “I love you!” when she’s in another room.
26. While he’s at school, leave a note on his pillow that says you’re proud of him.
27. When she’s busy or stressed, do one of her chores for her.
28. Put a favorite treat in his lunchbox.
It lets him know you know you’re thinking of him. A lunchbox note for your tween or teen would be just as nice!
29. Play one of her favorite songs in the car.
30. Make his bed for him while he’s in the shower.
31. Throw in an extra dollar with her allowance.
Tell her it’s because you saw her do something extra kind this week.
What other ways to connect with your busy kid have you utilized at home?
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