My own experiences with failure have been some of my most important life lessons. I learned things I never would have learned any other way. Growing up, every time I had to speak publicly, I was terrified, and most often felt like I failed because I wasn’t articulate enough. I hated the feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt that public speaking brought up for me. I kept trying though and pushing through those awful feelings until eventually I learned how to speak publicly without any fear at all. If I would have let my first failure keep me from trying again, I never would have had the joy of sharing my life story and speaking to thousands of people at a stadium event.
It’s never easy to watch our children fail. But we can take heart that failure can actually make our children stronger, more resilient and more empathetic if we teach them to handle failure the right way. Here are 5 things to teach your kids about dealing with failure.
1. Failure Happens to Everyone.
Even the best baseball players get hits only 3 out of 10 times at the plate. No one wins them all. It’s a normal part of life. Teach your kids to expect failure, and help them realize it’s okay to fail, because we learn from our mistakes and failures.
2. Failure Isn’t a License to be a Bad Sport.
Failing is not a good feeling, and it’s okay to be sad or disappointed when we fail. But we don’t want to take it too far and start blaming others or pouting. Teach them to find the lesson in it, which can soften the negative feelings. Help them learn how to not be too hard on themselves.
3. Failure Can Lead to Success.
Thomas Edison tried dozens and dozens of times before he invented the modern light bulb. We really can learn from our mistakes. Help them process through their mistakes and failures, so they can see the process of learning in action.
4. Failure Teaches Us Humility.
If we don’t experience failure, how can we really relate and encourage others when they are experiencing defeat?
5. Failure is Not Who We Are.
We need to teach our children that their true value comes from just being. They need to know they are loved, whether they win or lose, make a mistake or not.
What is something you have learned from failure that your kids would benefit from learning?
