They complain when we ask them to put away video games, roll their eyes when we accuse them of not cleaning up after themselves, and refuse to listen when they’re angry. We must be describing teenagers, right? Umm, no. Unfortunately, that’s also the behavior of the classic immature husband. Other signs you’re married to a man dealing with immaturity? They usually have a short temper. They get defensive very quickly, and they blame you for most of their problems.
Now, we all have our immature moments, but a truly immature husband is a man who isn’t even trying to handle his relationship with his wife in a more adult manner. Whether your husband is immature most of the time or just has immature outbursts here and there, there are some things you can do to make the situation better. You might want to tell him to grow up, but that’s not the best avenue toward change. Instead, try these 3 ways to handle an immature husband.
1. Stop babying him.
When your husband starts acting immaturely, treat him like an adult. If he whines about something, show empathy—”Yeah, that stinks!”—but don’t jump in as if he were a small child and try to fix his problem. You also don’t want to talk him out of his troubles because it might turn into an argument about how you don’t understand him and what he’s going through.
Also, be aware that your husband might just have had a bad day and needs your support and an understanding ear. You might be the only one he can really open up to. And, if he’s a pouter, it might be because he doesn’t know how to open up emotionally.
If his immature tendencies cause him to treat you harshly, you don’t have to put up with it. For example, if he starts mocking you during an argument, say, “You know, I’d rather not talk to you when you’re acting that way,” and leave the room.
2. Allow for natural consequences.
This one is tough. You want to let him suffer the consequences, as much as you can, for his immature choices. Let’s say your husband goes out drinking with his friends and doesn’t get up for your daughter’s soccer game the next morning. While you might want to cover for him and make excuses to your daughter, let him take responsibility for his choices and talk to her himself.
Is your husband immature in the way he handles his finances? If you find yourself cutting back on needs to make up for his spending, let it go for one month and allow him to see how that’s put you in the red.
3. Take the high road.
When you’re dealing with an immature husband, sinking to his level only intensifies the conflict. When he starts yelling or blaming, you might want to dish it right back and tell him he needs to act like an adult instead of a child. Don’t. Stay on the high road. Tell him you’re choosing to handle disagreements in a mature way and that when he’s ready to do the same, you’re all ears.
As much as possible, continue to look for the good in your husband despite his immature ways. See what you can relate to on this list of 99 things you might be thankful for about your husband.
Is your husband immature? How do you deal with it?
