As a first-time mom, I didn’t know much. But I knew I didn’t like seeing my newborn on his belly, struggling to lift his head. I had come back from the bathroom to find my mother-in-law sitting on the living room floor while my son lay in push-up position. My heart wrenched, and I crossed the room quickly, scooping him into my arms. I ignored my mother-in-law as she told me something called “tummy time” helps babies build neck strength. I decided instead to avoid tummy time for the foreseeable future.
I felt raw in those early days. Chalk it up to the difficult birth or the sleep deprivation or both, but I wish I’d had the humility that day to talk to my mother-in-law instead of shutting down the conversation. It would’ve saved me a lot of time, money, and worry a few months later when I noticed a flat spot on my baby’s head from spending too much time on his back. Instead of letting fear override reason, you may want to re-examine 5 areas where practicing humility gives you strength and wisdom to be the best mom to your child.
1. Humility With Parents, In-Laws, and Elders
It’s taken me a bit, but I’ve become much more receptive to the wisdom of other mothers, especially those who are older than I am and at first glance, have a different set of core beliefs. I’ve realized we may not be so different after all. Older mothers have gone through the same things I have, such as feedings and bedtimes, and now have the distance to reflect on their experiences and offer advice. Being humble enough to listen is the first step I’ve taken to become a better mother myself.
2. Humility With Your Husband
This one can be so hard. I’m the mom, so doesn’t that mean I have instincts that tell me I’m the one who’s right and should be trusted? But I can admit without squirming that after 15 years of parenting, my husband has often been right in the categories of discipline, health, bedtime, and chores, whereas I’ve been totally wrong. “You only believe it because a book said so. But I said it first,” my husband has said more than once. Now, more often than not, I practice humility with my husband rather than do extensive research. And it has paid off both in time and in our relationship with each other. Accepting my husband’s wisdom has helped me be a better mom.
3. Humility With Your Children
“I’m wrong,” I said to my son. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He looked at me, astounded. I’d been overtired and snapped for no other reason. And he deserved an apology. Since then, it’s been easier to practice humility with my children. They don’t need to think I’m perfect—because I’m not. And that’s OK. I’m human and I make mistakes. “It made me feel better,” my son told me when I asked how he felt after I admitted being wrong. I want him to remember that feeling so he too can practice humility with others when the opportunity arises.
4. Humility With Yourself
As a young, new mom I went purely on instinct. But as my kids grew, I realized I didn’t have the hard answers to things like what to do with a picky eater, how to discipline a child, and what to do when naps suddenly ended. I had to admit to myself I didn’t have all the answers. I also had to forgive myself when I got things wrong. Only by doing so could I grow in wisdom and become a better mom to my kids.
5. Humility With God
I don’t know more than God, that’s for sure. Even though I try to place my trust in Him, sometimes I get frustrated when things don’t work out the way I want. But somehow, the way things do work out ends up being better for a reason I couldn’t see in the moment. Raising kids hasn’t been a straight and easy path. But I’ve learned that the winding route reveals more of God’s goodness than a straight path ever could. And I’m reminded, constantly, of His love. By humbling myself before God, I’m opening myself up to more lessons in patience and resilience. And I’m learning that the more patience and resilience I have, the better mom I will be now and in the days ahead.
Are you practicing humility in your life? Like me, do you find it difficult sometimes too?
