What’s the busiest month for you? Maybe December’s a whirlwind of red and green. Or you have a month when 90% of your family members have a birthday. Or it’s May when schools are cramming in every possible event, and oh yeah, if you’ve got a sec, happy Mother’s Day! Our calendars can easily fill up with things we love, things we are obligated to, and things we dread.
But what about things that matter? Are enough of those on your calendar? We have to be intentional about scheduling family priorities, or time slips through our fingers. Hopefully, right now, your calendar still has some white space. Mine does, so I’m going to get it out and add these 5 things that, come the end of the year, I know I’ll be glad I did.
1. A Family Holiday
A family holiday is a day to celebrate your family and what it means to be part of it. If the effort needed for a holiday like Christmas is level 100, a family holiday requires maybe level eight. Pick a date that’s not near anyone’s birthday and put it on your family’s calendar. Decorate or dress up if you want to. Ours is called Wattage Day (a twist on our last name), and it’s always the fourth Tuesday in June. The kids make a playlist. We eat ice cream and play a board game. Totally low-key.
Research shows parent-child connectedness has positive effects on adolescent risk-taking behavior. And a strong family identity helps a child develop a healthy self-identity. So pick your date and celebrate!
The family priority you’re keeping with a made-up family holiday: togetherness
2. A Getaway Weekend
My parents used to take us to Orlando every year on Labor Day weekend. My sister and I looked forward to escaping reality after starting a new school year. Now that I’m a parent managing all of the crazy, I see that the escape was just as beneficial for my mom as it was for us kids.
I’m not one for running away from stress, but sometimes, a getaway weekend is just what the family doctor ordered. Getting everyone out of the routine at home can hit a reset button for your relationships and give parents and kids a chance to exhale.
The family priority you’re keeping with a getaway weekend: room to breathe
3. Date Nights
Whether you aim for one a month or one a week, if you don’t put date nights on your calendar, they’ll be the first thing tossed to the side when life gets busy. Open your calendars tonight, and pick your date dates! Write who gets to plan it in the notes: “him/her/us.”
Yep. This is a family priority, not just a spouse priority. The kids have to cooperate and give Mom and Dad their time. But they’ll gain a sense of security and well-being when they see you investing in your relationship.
The family priority you’re keeping with date nights: your marriage
4. Nothing
When is nothing not nothing?
When it’s creating balance. And that’s exactly what leaving white space on your calendar does. We aren’t meant to always have a foot on the gas. Hitting the brakes allows our bodies and minds to rest and recover.
Productivity is a false god too many of us bow down to. When we prioritize rest, we put productivity in its place and teach our kids that productivity is not what determines their value or worth.
The family priority you’re keeping by doing nothing: rest
5. Family Meetings 
A friend and her family have a monthly meeting with snacks, an agenda, and even a gavel. They use meetings to discuss everything from whose chores are whose, visits from out-of-town guests, and whether or not to get a puppy. (The kids unanimously voted yes on that one.)
Family meetings are great for practicing listening skills, respectful disagreement, and fairness. Like a family holiday, they are a way to reinforce your family’s identity. If you don’t have a family mission statement or pledge, come up with one at your first family meeting. Here’s a printable to help get you started.
The family priority you’re keeping with family meetings: communication
What priorities do you want to reinforce? What could you add to the calendar to help do that?
