As a kid, I used to hang out at my friend Stacy’s house a lot. Whenever we questioned something, we asked her mom for an answer. Stacy’s mom would give one and add, “You know I’m right.” Without the internet back then, we didn’t argue. And besides that, we trusted her. She was the adult, after all.
I saw Stacy’s mom recently and she said something I never expected to hear. “I used to think I was always right. But you know what? I was wrong.” Then she went on to explain why. I learned there are 5 ways it benefits kids to know that mom’s NOT always right. In fact, it’s okay to be wrong.
1. Kids learn humility.
My friend Stacy grew up thinking like her mom. She had to be right all the time. After she landed her first job out of college, she got into a snafu with her boss. He told her she’d messed up—but Stacy couldn’t admit to it. She didn’t last long at that job.
Modeling to our kids that’s it’s okay to be wrong is a gift you can give them. Kids who have humility get along better with others, win over teachers and coaches who seek to help them, and have more long-lasting and rewarding friendships. So, when you’re wrong about something, admit it. You’re teaching your child something that’ll benefit her throughout her life.
2. They see your strength.
I leaned over my son’s bed to say goodnight. Then, feeling bad about something I’d done, I said, “I’m sorry I yelled at you today. I shouldn’t have done it. I was wrong.” He nodded and then reached up and pulled me closer for a hug.
Being able to apologize is a skill and a strength and I’ve realized it gets easier the more I do it. Taking responsibility for things we’ve done wrong takes guts. But if we want our kids to have guts and be kind to others, it’s essential they see how we take ownership of our mistakes and admit when we’re wrong.
3. You foster their critical thinking skills.
I said something the other day about an Asian country that, according to my son, was incorrect. “OK, maybe I’m wrong. But how do you know you’re right?” I asked, curious. “Because we just studied it in class.” My husband happened to be nearby and stepped in to correct my son. “That’s close, but not quite accurate,” he said, then explained the correct history of this country to both of us.
It’s okay to be wrong. If your kids know you’re willing to admit it, they’re going to think carefully about your words and not agree just because you’re Mom. Critical thinking skills are so important in school as kids get older. They’re also just good for life. It’s not smart to believe everything you hear. So, admit when you’re wrong and you’ll help sharpen your child’s critical thinking skills.
4. You show how to bounce back and handle embarrassment.
Let me be clear: No one likes being wrong. I think we all have a natural tendency to want to get things right. But shrugging, laughing it off, or humbly saying “oops” all work to cover our embarrassment and keep moving forward.
When you show your kids you’re not always right, you demonstrate vulnerability. And vulnerability not only makes you more relatable but makes others respect you more too. Teach your kids to laugh at their own mistakes by doing the same thing yourself. It shows them it’s okay to be wrong! It happens to everyone.
5. Kids realize you never stop growing and learning.
“Mom, that’s not how you pronounce it. I thought you knew French,” my son said. True, I have a streak going on Duolingo, but I’m by no means fluent. “Oops. Guess I said it wrong,” I replied. “How do you pronounce that word?”
It’s okay to be wrong. We’re human. Having a growth mindset throughout life allows us to fail and keep going. It builds resilience. So, maybe get a few more things wrong today. Okay?
It’s okay to be wrong! When have you been wrong lately?
