Are you a silver-lining kind of person? Do you want your kids to be? Teaching kids to be positive is something we all have to do. Here are 4 ways to help them look on the bright side.

1. Show her how to tweak her language.

Words are powerful, and I tell my kids all the time that how we speak to ourselves shapes our attitudes and outlook in life. If my kid says “I have to go to practice tonight” or “I have to call Samantha and talk about the assignment,” I’m encouraging her to change “have to” to “get to.” Getting to practice soccer means she’s healthy and able. Getting to call Samantha means she has a friend to talk to for a few minutes.

It’s a subtle shift, but focusing on the positive side of a situation can make something boring look like a blessing.

2. Teach him to go easier on himself.

“Hey, buddy. You’ve got an incredible drive, and tons of motivation, but let’s take a break and come back to this later.” He wanted to stay up and finish his homework, but at this hour, I knew he’d have a hard time focusing. Maybe your child’s out shooting baskets and getting down on himself for missing too many. Or maybe he’s working on a LEGO set but is getting frustrated because he keeps making mistakes. Teaching kids to be positive about what they’ve accomplished, instead of getting hung up on their failures can be challenging.

Teaching kids self-compassion and encouraging them to go easier on themselves can lead “to a lower risk for mental or physical health issues and to better odds of a longer life,” says Harvard Health Publishing. High standards are great, but the older kids get, the more important it’s going to be to be able to say “I did what I could here. Now I need to take care of myself.” That’s looking on the bright side.

3. Encourage a gratitude mindset.

My friend’s daughter is stressed about friendships. They’ve been shifting throughout the year, and she’s not sure who her “real” friends are anymore. We know kids face multiple sources of stress from where to sit at lunch to getting good grades, but pausing for a moment in gratitude for something—even if it’s minor—can provide the mental flip your kid needs to carry on through her day.

Feeling glad that you don’t need to wear a jacket to school, for example is a little thing to be grateful for. “Gratitude helps to reduce stress and anxiety by shifting our focus from negative thoughts to positive ones,” says Health Assured. It doesn’t take much to notice the good things in life or to thank God for little blessings. But it can positively impact your kid’s attitude—and it can grow with practice.

4. Help her make the most of what comes her way.

Star, my friend’s daughter, didn’t get hired for the part-time babysitting job she wanted last summer. But with her mom’s help, Star realized she had time to take driver’s ed classes instead. Because she’s only 14, she hadn’t even thought about learning to drive. But now she seized the opportunity.

Teaching kids to be positive and to find the joy in a bad or disappointing situation isn’t easy, but it’s a skill that’ll help them rebound quicker. And making the most of any situation simply hinges on a willingness to try.

Looking on the bright side can take some training. How are you teaching kids to be positive in your family?

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That I-can-do-it attitude has an official name: self-efficacy. It’s a belief that you’re capable of succeeding. Children with high self-efficacy are more likely to tackle challenges. They see difficulties as obstacles to overcome, not walls to stop them, and it empowers them to become independent learners and problem-solvers. Ready to build it in your child? Try these 4 ideas that will help grow an I-can-do-it-attitude.  

1. Give her an opportunity for a mastery experience.

When my husband was a church youth minister and on a retreat in the mountains, he showed the teens where they’d be gathering one night for a fireside session. As he pointed to the top of a steep hill, a couple of perceptive teens pointed out that there was no seating or fire pit. He explained, “You guys are building the benches and the pit.” Several hours, splinters, and beads of sweat later, they’d created a space where they could gather and an experience none of them would ever forget.

You might not be able to send your kid up a mountain to build a fire, but mastery experiences show your child he can muster what it takes to succeed. They are the most influential source of self-efficacy according to psychologist Albert Bandura who introduced the concept back in the 1970s. A mastery experience for a 4-year-old might be building a skyscraper with blocks or buttoning up his shirt. For a 12-year-old, maybe it’s mowing the lawn without any help from Dad or learning to play a song on the piano.   

2. Show him other people succeeding.

If you’ve ever signed up for a workout program after seeing before-and-after pics, you know how seeing others achieve can help build an I-can-do-it attitude in yourself. Bandura called this a vicarious experience or social role model.

My friend’s son Max loves basketball but is… vertically challenged. Max’s dad showed him videos of NBA’s Spudd Webb winning the 1986 slam dunk contest at just five foot seven. Watching this guy fly made Max believe he could, too, and he tried out for (and made) his high school team.   

3. Speak words of encouragement.

“You have what it takes.” My friend Megan’s husband says that to their 4-year-old son every night at tuck-in. She beamed with pride when she overheard her little guy talking to himself while putting together a LEGO set: “I have what it takes!” Yes. You or another adult mentor telling your child he’s capable can actually convince him he is!

The key to the success of “persuasive words,” as Bandura calls them, is to create an environment that supports your child as she tries to achieve. Just saying that “you can do it” and walking away can lead to failure and make your child doubt your words in the future. So if your middle schooler is trying to ace her Spanish test, couple your persuasive words with an offer to run through flash cards. You’re giving her a boost and showing her she’s worth the investment of your time. 

4. Reroute the frustration to become motivation.

Frustration is a natural part of the learning process. Bandura found that the way we respond to that inevitable frustration impacts self-efficacy. If your child is trying to do a puzzle and can’t get the pieces to fit, her brow might furrow and she might clench her teeth. When you notice this, help create a mental link for her. Have her take a deep breath and connect her physiological response to the positive thought “I can conquer a challenge” instead of a defeating thought: “This is too hard.”

Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy said when she noticed her child was frustrated over a puzzle, instead of helping her finish, she would say, “The feeling you get when you think you can’t do something and then you keep going and you do it is the best feeling. And I don’t want to take that feeling away from you.” Make space for frustration and use it to create new pathways for can-do thinking.

How do you respond when your child feels defeated? What’s your go-to method to build an I-can-do-it attitude?

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If you’ve struggled with how to teach resilience to your kids, avoid these 5 common mistakes. With time, you’ll likely see a change in your child. I’m working on it too!

1. Watch them too closely.

Why wouldn’t I want to watch my kids? I love them and I want to keep them safe. But neuropsychologist William Stixrud and educator Ned Johnson argue that supervising our kids’ play and monitoring their whereabouts at all hours “may lower our own anxiety” but “can make our kids more anxious.” It communicates that “I don’t trust you, and you can’t be safe without my supervision.”

Do this instead: To teach resilience and to make kids less anxious, Stixrud and Johnson suggest we convey more trust in our kids and ease up on our monitoring: “I trust that you can ask for help when you need it!” “Let’s think about the best ways of keeping you safe.”

2. Try too hard to cheer them up.

I don’t like seeing my kid sad or frustrated, and you probably don’t either. But all kids need to learn how to handle these feelings. “[I]f we want kids to develop emotional resilience, we cannot be the ones who always pull them out of hard emotions,” say Stixrud and Johnson. “We can unwittingly give our kids messages that ‘we don’t like’ those feelings, making it harder for them to bring those feelings to us when they really need to.”

Do this instead: Let your kids sit with their emotions but say “I’m here for you if you want to talk” and “It’s OK to feel sad (frustrated/angry/hurt).” Having these feelings helps them make sense of the world.

3. Ask a million questions.

When my son started at a new school, I asked every day if he’d made a new friend. I didn’t realize until much later that my questions stressed him out. Even though your questions may not state concern outright, asking so many, or on the same issue, “keeps the spotlight on something [your kid] may have moved on from or wants to move on from, or that [he] simply needs a break from,” say Stixrud and Johnson. The questions signal to him that you’re worried.

Do this instead: Start off by listening. If he knows you’re receptive, he’ll let you know when there’s a problem. You can also find a balance and say something like, “I know it’s been hard making new friends, and I’d like to talk with you here and there. How about we check in on Fridays?”

4. Pity them.

I realized I was feeling sorry for my kid when her best friend moved away. She’d come home and tell me she sat alone at lunch. I’d go into sad-face mode: “Awww, you poor thing!” Dwelling on it too long can turn it into pity. I realized later that by feeling sorry for her, I wasn’t equipping her with the resilience and confidence to go out and make new friends. So, while it might be natural to feel pity, we don’t want our kids to feel sorry for themselves. Rather, we want them to know we believe in them, so they believe in themselves too.

Do this instead: Validate how your child feels and empathize with what they’re going through, without minimizing it. Avoid over-the-top positivity. And instead of pity, communicate courage. If you want to know how to build resilience in your child, let her know you have confidence in her and that she can tackle whatever she’s going through.

5. Let them avoid it.

Many of us have made this mistake. We let our kids avoid tough decisions or skip an activity that causes them stress. But when we allow them to avoid things that make them nervous, we’re allowing that anxiety to remain—even grow. We’re validating their fears instead of encouraging our kids to face them.

Do this instead: Encourage your child to come up with his own strategy to cope. You could say, “I know you’re really nervous, but what can you tell yourself when you feel this way?” Stepping back so your child can find the skills to cope is how to teach resilience.

Have you struggled with how to teach resilience to your kids? What have you done (or not done) that’s worked?

The post Want to Build Resilience? Avoid These 5 Mistakes appeared first on iMOM.

Sometimes teachers and kiddos just don’t mesh. So what do you do? Make your child stick it out? Talk to administration? Research shows that students who feel supported and cared for by their teachers are more likely to develop self-regulation skills and a love of learning, so it’s worth it to take action. Here are 5 ideas for what to do if a kid doesn’t like a teacher.

1. Look for signs of trouble.

Unlike a high schooler who probably makes her feelings for a teacher quite clear, a younger child might not express her feelings verbally. Look for other signs of a rocky relationship like extra tears over issues unrelated to school, decreased motivation, acting out, and stalling at bedtime. Increased anxiety is another sign, and it can manifest physically, so track those complaints of tummy aches.

2. Open the lines of communication with your child.

If you’re asking what to do if a kid doesn’t like a teacher, the answer is not to email administration at the first sign of distress. Ask your child about what’s happening in the classroom. Does she not like the teacher’s style of leading discussions? Does your child say the teacher singles him out, or is it a class-wide issue? Could it be that your child doesn’t like the increased rigor of this school year?

One of my sons complained for weeks about a teacher. After a bit of digging, I discovered that his main beef was that she had fewer classroom parties than his previous teachers. I had to break it to him that it wasn’t the teacher’s fault and that the number of parties was going to continue to dwindle.

As you have these chats, try to keep a positive tone. The teacher still deserves your child’s respect, and speaking negatively about her might give your child the impression he can do the same.

3. Ask yourself the tough questions.

When you’re thinking about what to do if a kid doesn’t like a teacher, ask yourself if the source of the problem is that your child needs a different learning environment. Some kids don’t do well in classes with too many children, and others need an extra challenge. Your child might have a teacher who isn’t trained to teach the way he needs whereas instructors from years past have been able to make it work.

Another factor to consider is how much school your child has missed. While absences shouldn’t affect the way teachers treat students, chronic absenteeism can make it difficult for the teacher to help your child stay up to speed. A perceptive child might pick up the teacher’s frustrations. It can also make it harder for a child to connect with a teacher and her specific classroom management style.

4. Take a collaborative approach.

A couple of months into second grade, a friend’s daughter started dreading school. My friend called a parent-teacher conference and was respectful but frank. She said, “I’m sure she’s exaggerating, but she keeps saying all you do is yell. Can you shed any light on this?” The teacher admitted she’d yelled a few times, but also said she was struggling to keep control of this wild bunch. This conference taught the teacher that the girl was very sensitive to yelling, and my friend told her daughter she needed to be a leader in class and encourage kids to cool it.

Once you have a clearer picture of the situation with your child, a parent-teacher conference can lead to more open communication. Approach it with a collaborative spirit, focusing on solutions rather than blame. Here’s iMOM’s free Parent-Teacher Conference Worksheet.

5. Empower your child.

You can’t force your child to love his teacher, but you can give him tools to get through the school day. Talk about how it’s OK not to like everyone, including teachers. Encourage communication by role-playing scenarios. One of my sons’ teachers talked really fast, which made my son nervous to speak up. We practiced how to respectfully ask a question like, “I’m sorry if I didn’t hear you say this, but can you please repeat what pages we’re supposed to read?”

Don’t forget to empower your child by celebrating small wins. Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s efforts and progress, regardless of his or her rapport with the teacher.

Did you ever have a problem with a teacher? How did you get through it?

The post 5 Steps to Take When Your Child Doesn’t Click With a Teacher appeared first on iMOM.

In the end, JOMO won. Our family had a great evening staying home, watching a movie. Choosing joy over choosing fear is a good feeling. And there are things we can do to help our kids find more JOMO in life. Here are 4 ways to nurture it with your children.

1. Remind kids they have choices.

“The meaning of JOMO is really embracing the idea of just finding joy and contentment, of opting out or missing out on activities, and prioritizing your self-care,” says psychologist Susan Albers. It doesn’t mean skipping all social activities but being more choosey with what you do.

Asking questions is a great way to get kids thinking: Do I really want to do this? Teach your kids they don’t have to say yes to every social situation. Knowing they have a choice can help them figure out who they are and what they really like.

2. Schedule regular breaks from screens.

Many of the girls in my daughter’s fourth-grade class had gotten into Facebook messenger. A friend told me her daughter Crystal and another girl messaged all weekend, and Crystal’s friend talked nonstop about her new hamster. Next thing you know, Crystal wanted a hamster too. She had a little FOMO about raising a rodent. Crystal’s wise mother reminded her of the joy of missing out: no smelly cage to clean, no noisy hamster wheel keeping you up at night, and no allowance spent on hamster food.

As kids get older, screens and social media will be become more of a temptation. “To encourage more JOMO and less FOMO, parents can help guide kids toward personal contentment with more phone-free activities such as reading, journaling, face-to-face conversations, [and] outdoor activities,” advises McAfee. And if she still wants a hamster? Well, if the JOMO of no screens equals a new pet, maybe it’s worth it?

3. Engage in downtime.

For some of kids, it’s go-go-go all the time, am I right? School. Lessons. Appointments. Playdates. But for kids who are more introverted, JOMO is a relief to all the stimulation of school and social activities. It can be the needed break from all the busyness. Even extraverted kids can have too much of a good thing. And downtime can be the answer—something we all need periodically to recharge.

Writer Iva-Marie Palmer says, “Where FOMO can cause anxiety and even physical symptoms like sweating or panic,” JOMO is the opposite. It’s about leaving stress behind, not worrying about being productive or teaching kids a skill. Rather, it’s the joy of leaving all that behind.

4. Encourage independent thinking.

“Do you want to go the game because you’re afraid of missing out? Or is it something you truly want to do?” my friend Katie asked her son Parker. She knew he wasn’t a big basketball fan, and he didn’t get excited when another mom volunteered to take the boys. “I don’t want to look like a loser if I don’t go,” Parker said. She reminded him that the game would be several hours, he’d get home late, and he’d have to wake up early for church the next morning. Parker ended up deciding he’d rather stay home. As psychologist Susan Albers says, “Sometimes, all you need is to take a moment to pause and evaluate what you truly get joy out of before you jump in.”

“JOMO reminds us that we can not only not fear that we are missing something important, but actually enjoy missing something,” said associate professor Tali Gazit. Talking it through with her son helped Katie put the evening in perspective for him. Parker then got to spend the evening hitting tennis balls at the park with his family—a game he truly enjoyed.

How have you and your kids experienced JOMO in recent weeks?

The post Heard of JOMO? How to Give It to Your Kids appeared first on iMOM.

You might be surprised to learn that asking for help seems inconceivable to many children. Even kids as young as five may struggle. According to research, kids hesitate primarily because they don’t want to appear dumb in front of others. So they choose to struggle in silence instead (or, in my daughter’s case, they stomp away from the idea). Thankfully, seeking help is a learned behavior. If you suspect your child struggles with asking for help, use these 5 strategies to show raising your hand is actually a genius move.

1. Be a safe space where questions are welcomed.

You are your child’s first and best teacher. By creating a judgment-free environment, you communicate to your child that curiosity and asking questions is a natural part of learning. Knowing the answer and seeking help when you don’t are both signs of intelligence.

When you address your child’s questions with patience and respect, you build his confidence in exploring the world around him. Your openness reassures your child that his inquiries are valued, reducing the fear of judgment or reprimand. And encouraging your child to be inquisitive helps spark a love of learning! For example, you could say things like: That’s such a great question. What made you think to ask that? I love how your mind works! Your curiosity is one of the things I love about you. Thank you for asking that. You made a smart choice to ask me about it.

2. Lead by example.

As moms, we don’t need Neighborhood Watch or an HOA to monitor our every move. We’ve got kids to do that. Even when you don’t realize your child is watching and listening, well, there she is, watching and listening. If your child sees you asking for help (and not making a big deal about it), she’ll be likelier to do the same.

Of course, you can eventually find that item by wandering around the store for 10 minutes. And, yes, you can lift with your knees to move the den furniture around by yourself, too. But by letting your child witness you asking for help, you show her that it’s OK to do the same.

3. Acknowledge and praise him when he asks for help.

While this idea seems simple, it packs a powerful punch. Positive reinforcement leads to repeated behavior. Effective praise can look like encouraging your child when you hear him asking for help. For example, “You’re such a problem-solver. I love how you took the initiative to ask for help with that math problem you couldn’t figure out on your own. Sometimes, being a problem-solver means knowing when to raise your hand.”

4. Role-play scenarios with her.

By practicing asking for help, your child will build confidence, develop communication skills, and reduce fear or anxiety. Role-playing will also help her try out different ways to seek assistance and reinforce the idea that asking for help is a positive and constructive choice.

Role-playing can happen anywhere. Try it the next time you’re in the car together. Side-by-side conversations can be easier for many kids. For example, say something like this: If you need help opening your Thermos at lunch, who could you ask? What would you say? If you can’t find the next Junie B. Jones book on the shelf, what could you say to the librarian?

5. Point out when your child helps others.

When you witness your child helping someone else, briefly talk about it later. For example, ask: Did you feel good helping your friend when he asked for it? Did you think he should’ve already known the answer or been able to do that without your help? Do you think differently about your friend because he needed help? 

These types of guiding questions can reduce any stigma or fear your child might associate with asking questions or seeking assistance himself. Plus, they create an environment where mutual support is normalized, encouraging your child to feel more comfortable and confident. 

What have you found works to teach your child why asking for help is important?

The post New Study Shows Kids Are Afraid to Ask for Help appeared first on iMOM.

Brain research shows that many children appear primed to learn empathy between the ages of 7 and 12. However, whether they show outward signs of empathy or not, our kids need our help to encourage and support their growing attempts. Embrace these 4 simple but effective ways for teaching empathy to your child.

1. Practice active listening with each other.

When you listen with intention, you focus on more than just hearing the words. Instead, the purpose shifts to understanding each other’s perspective, whether you agree or not, and sharing in the emotions. Active listening is a powerful tool for teaching empathy to elementary school children because it focuses on understanding, respect, and emotional awareness.

To practice active listening, use sentences like: 

• “What I hear you saying is…”
• “I’m not sure I understood what you were saying about…”
• “It sounds as if you’re worried about… Do I understand you correctly?”
• “When you said you didn’t want to go to soccer practice, it made me think you might be feeling tired or overwhelmed. Is that right?”

2. Do regular family “check-ins” to talk about how everyone is feeling.

“Check-ins” can be as simple as asking questions at dinner, talking together in the car after school pickup, or setting aside a few minutes before bedtime. By engaging in these intentional moments, your child learns to recognize and articulate her own feelings, as well as understand and respect the emotions of the people closest to her. When your child sees her feelings acknowledged and respected by her family, she’s more likely to extend the same courtesy and understanding to others. And, hey, if your child struggles with labeling the emotion, use our Feelings Wheel.

During your check-ins, ask questions like:

• “What is something that made you smile today?”
• “Was there a moment today when you and a friend had different opinions? How did you resolve it?”
• “How did you help someone today? How do you think it made that person feel? How did you feel?”
• “Did you feel angry today? What happened? How did you handle it?”

3. Encourage (and acknowledge) acts of kindness.

In a recent survey, 50% of moms said showing their children how to be compassionate and kind is the most important task of parenthood. It’s also a key component of teaching empathy. As a mom, when you recognize your child for his kind behaviors, he learns the importance of considering others’ feelings and the positive impact his own actions can have. This reinforcement not only boosts his self-esteem but also motivates him to continue being kind.

Over the next 30 days, take the Kindness Challenge for Moms, and take daily steps to focus on kindness in your whole family. After school, ask, “Did anyone in the class do something kind today? Did you? How did you feel about it?” This helps make your child more aware of the kindness around him and how his acts of kindness impact others, too. Then, celebrate what you hear (or see). For example, “When you saw your classmate being left out at recess, you showed kindness by inviting him to play.”

4. Embrace differences and ensure everyone feels included.

“When children learn to take another person’s perspective and then empathize, they are much better equipped to successfully manage peer and adult interactions,” Dr. Bradford Wiles, a child development researcher, explains. “Empathy for others, whether they have special needs such as being in a wheelchair, or if they are just different from the child, has been demonstrated to have positive and long-lasting outcomes for children.”

Watch movies and read books that feature culturally diverse or differently-abled characters. Eat food from another culture or say yes when a neighbor invites your family to a holiday celebration you’d not typically celebrate. Teaching empathy can happen over a bowl of matzo ball soup, under the lights of a Diwali festival, and even by cheering on a friend at the Special Olympics.

How do you handle a situation where your child hurts someone’s feelings?

The post 4 Remarkably Effective Ways to Raise an Empathetic Kid appeared first on iMOM.

If you suggest a couple of these to your kids and get pushback, persist. Study skills we used as kids shouldn’t be brushed off as old fashioned. There’s a reason they were once popular—they get results! So put a few of these 5 study skills into your kids’ rotation, and watch your kids become more confident test takers and students.

1. Teaching the Lesson

My son has a friend who’s an extremely diligent student. He works the hardest and gets excellent grades, in part by using old school study skills. One of them is “teaching the lesson.” His mom got him a whiteboard, and he presents the material as if he were teaching it. (Kids love writing on white boards.) So, have your child teach the material to you or his siblings.

The effectiveness of this study skill is backed up by research out of the University of California. They found that when a student explains something to others, he has to dig deeper than just memorizing facts. He needs to connect the new information to things he already knows. And bonus points if your child can field questions from you as he teaches.

2. Say it

Your child can use this study skill with you or on her own. Have her read her class notes, terms, or formulas out loud. For an old school/new school hybrid, she can also record herself reciting the material and then quiz herself as she listens back to it. There’s some new school research out of the University of Waterloo to back up this method.

They found that speaking things out loud helps you remember them better for two reasons. First, moving your mouth to speak (the motor act) strengthens the memory of the words. And second, hearing yourself say the information (the self-referential auditory input) makes it stand out more than just reading silently.

3. Flashcards

Some material just needs to be memorized. For this, flash cards are hard to beat. According to study compilations at the University of Michigan, flashcard users “achieve deeper levels of processing, such as comprehension and application.” One of the reasons flashcards are so effective is their tactile nature. Students can touch and manipulate them, which helps with retaining information. In case you need a flashcard refresher, as your child goes through his cards, have him put them in a “got it right” pile and a “try it again” pile. If you want a “new school” flash card approach, try Quizlet.

4. Matching

This is kind of like flashcards in that it reinforces learning by having students write out the information. Write the term on one index card and its definition on another. Turn the cards face down and mix them. Then, lay them out in a grid. Turning over two cards at a time, your kid can try to match the term to the correct definition. Stay nearby with an answer sheet, though, to point out when she gets the answers right.

5. Recap or Summarize

This is an old school study skill that is foundational for the study skills above. After the homework’s done, grab a sheet of notebook paper or a spiral notebook and have your child write down, class by class, the topic or concept covered that day. The act of recalling, either from memory or from notes, helps your child by signaling to his brain what material needs to be retained.

Under each topic have your student write out by hand the most important important points from her notes. Brain researcher Audrey van der Meer says that writing by hand component is powerful because “brain connectivity patterns are far more elaborate than when typewriting on a keyboard,” making it especially beneficial to learning information. They don’t have to write paragraphs. Just one sentence per topic will tell her brain what’s most important.

Do your kids use any old school study skills? Which one works the best?

The post 5 Time-Tested Study Skills That Still Work appeared first on iMOM.

Our kids are going to grow up with AI, whether we like it or not. And now that educators are working to understand its capabilities, they’re learning that AI in school has a lot of perks that will benefit teachers and students alike. Here are 3 things kids and teachers gain now that AI is in the classroom and here to stay.

1. Preparedness for the Future

AI is a powerful tool that will affect (and is already affecting) education. But it’s impacting many other areas as well such as engineering, software development, marketing, the military, healthcare, and others. With AI, new jobs, according to Forbes, have already been created, with more still to come as AI advances. And it’s advancing right now at an incredible rate. These new AI jobs may someday entice our children. Working with AI now in the classroom will get kids used to this tool and better prepare them for what’s to come.

Many districts are holding workshops and learning sessions to help teachers get acquainted with AI technology so they can incorporate it in their classrooms. AI tools are even in some colleges at this point as professors learn how best to utilize it in the university setting. With teachers and professors learning how best to implement AI in school, they’re preparing our children for the future and giving them a practical leg up on the technology. Someday, when our kids are in the workforce, their work environment could look very different from ours today, thanks to AI.

2. Time Saved in the Present

As a former teacher, I certainly wish generative AI were around back when I taught. I used to spend every Sunday afternoon on the floor of my living room planning for the week. I imagine my prep time would’ve been cut in half if I had an AI-powered assistant working with me. From the students’ perspective, this would’ve translated to more energy from me in the classroom.

Teacher burnout is real. And though the number of teachers leaving the profession has increased since the pandemic, it’s been a problem in education for a long time. According to McKinsey & Company research, the majority of teachers who said they planned to leave the profession “cite an unmanageable workload.” I would agree. Good teachers throw themselves into the job and spend whatever time necessary to plan for the week as well as care for and connect with each individual student. It’s a lot. Now, with AI, teachers would have help. And this could potentially keep teachers in their professions longer. That’s a win for students, districts, and teachers.

3. Personalized Learning for All Students

If a second grader is struggling to read, how is she going to fare in third grade? To help her reach grade-level standards, one-on-one learning would be needed. Likewise, if a child is already at or above grade-level, one-on-one assistance could help enhance that student’s learning. But providing this level of support is “incredibly time-consuming and requires the commitment of resources—particularly staffing—that often don’t exist in the stretched public school system,” according to Tigran Sloyan in FastCompany, a business and tech site.

That’s where AI in school comes in. Personalized learning is a significant benefit. “AI systems can analyze students’ learning patterns and tailor educational content to meet individual needs,” says Neil Sahota for Forbes. “Through AI-enabled teaching assistants and mobile applications, teachers can provide tailored educational resources, ensuring each student receives the attention and support they need​.” And while some school districts have already developed their own teaching assistants, others are piloting a teaching bot for Khan Academy, the education nonprofit whose lessons are already used in hundreds of school districts (including my own).

It’s understandable to be cautious about AI doing the work for students, Sloyan says. But AI technology “has the potential not just to improve education, but to make high-quality, personalized learning accessible for all.” We’re at the beginning. Resources and tools are still in development. But I’m optimistic about how AI in school can enhance my kids’ learning and yours.

In what ways would you be OK with your child using AI in school? 

The post 3 Things Kids and Teachers Gain Now That AI Is Here to Stay appeared first on iMOM.

Fast-forward 30 years, and I’ve noticed my kids put off work, too. I want to help them, especially because research shows links between procrastination and fatigue, anxiety, and breakdowns. If you have a child who waits until the last minute, here are 5 ideas for how to motivate a procrastinator based on 5 common reasons kids procrastinate.

Reason #1 Kids Procrastinate: Perfectionism and Fear of Failure

They think, I can’t start until I know how to do it perfectly. Because if I start wrong, then it’s going to be wrong, and it can’t be wrong.

It’s easy for paralysis to set in with thoughts like that. For perfectionist kids, procrastination is a decision not to act. It’s a coping mechanism to avoid the stress of making an incorrect choice and possibly failing.

How to motivate a procrastinator—focus on the process, not just the outcome. I remember my son staring at a pile of Legos and saying, “I can’t make anything cool.” I replied, “Then don’t worry about what it’s going to end up being. Just have fun.” This gave him permission to get started because the goal was fun, not perfection.

Reason #2 Kids Procrastinate: Fear of Criticism

They think, I don’t want to start because I know someone (maybe my inner voice) will say something critical, and I don’t want to hear it.

Imagine a child staring at a question like, “What were the weaknesses of the Articles of Confederation?” If he struggles with writing and anticipates getting his paper back covered in red pen, it makes sense he’d put it off. A groundbreaking study out of DePaul University found that many students procrastinate as a form of self-sabotage motivated by a fear of criticism. If they put off starting an assignment and failed, they could blame the failure on the time crunch and not their own skill or intelligence.

How to motivate a procrastinator—be your child’s biggest cheerleader in all things. He’ll be less likely to fear criticism and put off work if he’s used to hearing encouraging words from Mom. Looking for ideas for encouraging words? Try our 30-Day Encouragement Challenge to boost your child’s self esteem.

Reason #3 Kids Procrastinate: Lack of Discipline

They think, That work is difficult, and I’d rather do something less uncomfortable and more enjoyable.

It’s more appealing to do a pleasurable task at the get-go and wait to complete a tough one until a deadline is looming. That’s just a fact of life. When my son looks down his list of homework assignments, math is always at the bottom because it’s the least enjoyable for him. He’d rather review vocab words. When we know what we have to do but can’t bring ourselves to do it, it’s a gap between intention and action.

How to motivate a procrastinator—consider how a task can be made more fun. My friend has a “math chair” in her den. To encourage her daughter to tackle math first and not procrastinate, she lets her sit in the big comfy chair which is next to a table where Mom puts an endless supply of pretzels and Nutella.

Reason #4 Kids Procrastinate: Lack of Understanding

They think, I can’t start because I don’t get it.

Devon Price, Ph.D. author of Laziness Does Not Exist, points out that kids who procrastinate are often mistakenly accused of not caring. He says, “Procrastination is more likely when the task is meaningful.” A child who cares but doesn’t know how to take the initial steps in an assignment or is confused by the instructions will naturally put off starting. If he didn’t care, he’d just wing it!

How to motivate a procrastinator—give instructions in a different way or give him language to use with his teacher to ask for clarification, like “I’m confused. Can you help me figure out the first steps I should take?”

Reason #5 Kids Procrastinate: Feeling Overwhelmed

They think, This is too big. I don’t even know where to begin.

For three weekends, I told my son he had to refold the clothes in his dresser. He was overwhelmed by the four huge drawers filled with balled-up clothing. We’ve all felt this way before and put off a daunting task.

How to motivate a procrastinator—teach “divide and conquer.” One of my favorite things to say to my kids is, “How do you eat an elephant?” They reply (with negative levels of enthusiasm), “One bite at a tiiiiime.” Teach your procrastinator to look at big tasks as a bunch of small tasks combined and tackle them one by one.

Bonus Reason: Thrill Seeking

As a writer, I’d be remiss if I didn’t add that I know from experience (and research backs) the rush of adrenaline you get from waiting until the last minute, feeling the pressure, and coming in just under the wire.

But procrastination will eventually bite you in the rear, so teach your kids the risk isn’t worth the rush. This might mean not helping them with their last-minute science projects and allowing natural consequences to kick in. Their college-aged selves will thank you!

Which of these reasons for procrastination sounds like it fits your child?

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