“Keep or toss?” I asked my daughter as I helped her clean up. She glanced at the three participation trophies in my hands. With a shrug, she said, “Toss. I don’t need those.” I frowned, remembering how cute she looked in her soccer uniform. “What about this one?” I leaned over and grabbed the softball trophy collecting dust on her desk. Her chin jerked up and she snatched it from me. “I like that one,” she said. They’d lost the championship game, but only the first and second place teams had received trophies that year. “We had a good team,” she said. “Everyone played hard.”
Even though it was a second place trophy, that one meant something to my daughter. She wanted to save it because it represented a hard-earned battle. Sure, competition can be stressful. There’s pressure to succeed. But competition can also help kids develop abilities they can carry with them as they grow. Even though participation trophies are sweet gestures, the real victory comes when kids learn to develop their strengths. Here are 5 reasons competition is good for kids.
1. Competition teaches the value of hard work.
My daughter’s elementary school didn’t give letter grades, so when she got to middle school, it was a wake-up call. From the beginning of the school year to the end, she competed with herself, working to improve. By the end of the year, she also realized she’d consistently scored the highest on her science teacher’s game-show-style quizzes. The competition against her classmates encouraged her to keep studying hard at home.
Kids learn that natural talent will only get them so far. But hard work and perseverance will help kids do better and succeed. They don’t have to be the most talented or the smartest kid in the room, but if they learn to work hard, they’ll find success.
2. Competition teaches resilience.
One year, my son was his class’s GeoBee champ. He felt pretty good about himself. But when he moved on to the schoolwide competition with the other classroom winners, he lost in the first round. After being a little sad that night, he talked about how he could do better the following year.
It was hard to see him lose, but setbacks build resilience with the right mindset. They’re opportunities to talk about grit and bouncing back: “You lost, but it was good practice for next time.”
3. Competition builds self-esteem.
When a child competes in a sport, she’s under pressure to perform. Last night, my tween daughter had three at-bats in her softball game. She didn’t always get on base, but she hit the ball each time. As a relatively new player, she felt really proud of herself! My daughter gained more confidence during that game. Competition does that.
Working hard at a skill and performing well under pressure can positively impact a child’s self-esteem. Sports are great opportunities to compete, but competition doesn’t have to be on a field to reap the benefits. It can be at a game of checkers, while auditioning for a choir solo, or by entering a coloring contest.
4. Competition helps develop social skills.
My son is a novice tennis player, but I encouraged him to join our church’s team. He and another new player were paired up for a match against two boys of similar ability. I don’t even remember who won because it was an exhibition match just for fun, but I do remember my son walking over to his opponents’ bench and saying “good game” to them when it was done.
That season, my son learned how to serve and how to keep track of the score. But he also learned how to work well with others and be a good teammate. With competition, kids learn how to work for the good of the team and they learn empathy for a player who didn’t do as well.
5. Competition can increase happiness.
Competition of any kind can be stressful. But the payoffs of competing can be huge. My daughter spent as much time on the bench last night as she did on the field. But she came home happy because her team won, and she contributed by getting a hit that drove in a run. She doesn’t have to be the MVP to benefit from healthy competition.
Do you avoid competitive situations because you think they might cause too much stress for your child? Being able to push through a certain level of stress builds determination and strength in kids. They’ll have fun, gain confidence, and want to do it again. Support them in their wins and losses. Focus on their hard work more than the result. And don’t add to the stress yourself. Nothing turns kids off more than a parent who pressures them too much to succeed.
What do you think? Is competition good for kids?
