“Hey!” I called to my son as he hopped out of the car and scurried ahead. “Wait for me!” He hustled down the sidewalk in his dress pants and shoes, lugging his trombone case. “I don’t want to walk in with you,” he muttered. I almost didn’t hear him, but the gentle evening breeze lifted his words and carried them to my ears. “Oh! You’re afraid I’ll embarrass you, right?” I caught a smile on his lips as he disappeared into the building, several steps ahead.
I chuckled as I found a seat in the auditorium. I settled my bag on my lap and removed my binoculars. No way was I going to sit through the concert and stare at a blur of faces on stage. I wanted to see my kid! I’m trying really hard to be a good mom—the best I can be. And I think that’s pretty cool in itself. Do you think you’re cool too? Here are 10 ways to define how to be a cool mom.
1. She shows up.
I didn’t really want to go to the band concert that cold winter evening. But I put on my coat anyway. Afterward, I told my son which song I liked best, and he had a lot to say about it on the ride home.
A fake cool mom says “OK” when her son tells her not to come. But a cool mom goes anyway because she knows it’s important to be there, even if her kid doesn’t say so.
2. She has rules and holds kids accountable.
In some sitcoms and kids’ books, moms come across as flighty. In real life, we know being a good mom is hard, but we don’t give up.
From bedtime rules to behavior, a cool mom teaches her kids how to be good people.
3. She’s consistent.
A caricature of a cool mom gives in to a child who begs because she thinks it’ll win points and her child will like her more.
But a real cool mom remains consistent as she faces puppy-dog eyes because she knows what’s best for her kid.
4. She makes her kids laugh with her and at themselves.
A fake cool mom lets her kids watch shows that are funny but not age-appropriate. A real cool mom knows that what’s funny shouldn’t be at the expense of others.
When I was little, my mom taught me how to laugh at myself so I could better handle the red-faced embarrassment that comes from making mistakes. I’m trying to teach my own kids the same thing.
5. She makes her kids try new things.
My kids didn’t want to go to the art museum last month, but I made them. A fake cool mom wouldn’t make the effort to force them to do something they didn’t want to do.
From curry to karate, I want my kids to experience a wide range of things. Doing so gives them a better understanding of other cultures, which also helps with making new friends.
6. She gets to know their friends.
A certain type of mom might think serving alcohol to minors or turning a blind eye to certain behaviors makes her cool. But that’s far from it.
A real cool mom doesn’t give up her authority by acting like a teen herself. She makes kids feel welcome in her home by asking polite questions and providing age-appropriate activities for kids to do.
7. She lets them see her try new things and take healthy risks.
Years ago, a “cool” mom might’ve smoked, but these days, a real cool mom takes better care of her body.
My friend Val took swim lessons in her forties, learning the strokes so she could feel safe taking her kids to the lake. In Val, these kiddos have a strong, fearless mom they know they can count on.
8. She lets them overhear her talking them up.
Maybe a “cool” mom doesn’t care if her kids hear her curse or trash talk a teacher. But a cool mom watches what she says.
And when she knows her kids are listening, she talks about their diligence in math class and their kindness toward a neighbor.
9. She’s a good role model.
I’ve heard friends good-naturedly bash their hubbies. But I want my kids to see me treating their dad well. I greet him when he comes home from work and I compliment the tasty meal he worked hard to make.
The other day, I held the door for a woman pushing a stroller. I’m glad my kids saw because maybe they’ll think it’s cool to be kind too.
10. She takes them to church, and she prays with them.
A fake cool mom lets kids find their own way to God, but a real cool mom leads her kids to Him. She teaches how to pray and makes the inside of a church familiar. Try iMOM’s free printable 10 Ways to Teach Your Kids How to Pray to get started.
My mom likes to tell the story of how I often got carried out of church crying. But she kept bringing me back each week. My mom knew what was best for me and never gave up. I’m so grateful for that! She was, I have to say, the coolest mom ever.
What else does it take to be a cool mom?
