I was a fraction of a second away from tapping “share” and I saw it—my son’s underwear peeking out from under his t-shirt. I nearly shared a photo of my 10-year-old in his underwear. Yes, I think his Hanes are cute. And who cares what he’s wearing when he’s lounging around the house? But how horrible would I have felt if I’d posted this photo and one of his classmates saw it over Mom’s shoulder while she was scrolling Instagram?
This was a wake-up call for me that my kids’ lives are not mine and they deserve some privacy. That’s a tough pill to swallow for moms of bigger kids, especially after years of posting adorable diaper or bubble bath photos. Are the days of posting pictures of your child on social media over? Of course not. You can still share their sweet or silly faces, but not before running through these 5 questions.
1. Is a body part or undergarment showing?
This is a practical question to ask before posting pictures of your child on social media, and doesn’t need much explanation. Sometimes we get so caught up in the moment, or so focused on another detail in a photo, that we miss what’s right in front of our eyes, namely a part of a daughter’s bra, or (as I narrowly dodged) some tighty whities. A quick scan of the photo will save a lot of embarrassment later.
2. Are my privacy settings in place?
Would you walk up to any random guy on the street and give him a picture of your child? If your profile is set to public, that’s basically what you’re doing. I just read a news story about a man who was caught sharing images of a range of different children on his Instagram Story—pictures that didn’t belong to him. The images themselves weren’t obscene, but the captions he added would make your stomach turn. Set your profile to private and protect your child’s image from being abused.
3. Would I want someone to post or say this about me?
A photo came up in my Facebook memories of my son when he was home sick a couple of years ago. I remember posting it because I thought he looked so sweet, but seeing it now, I realize he looked rough! His eyes were red and puffy and you could tell he was totally congested. The poor kid probably didn’t want his picture taken at the time, much less posted for everyone to see. When you’re dealing with an unflattering look or a private moment, ask yourself how you’d feel if someone posted this about you. It’s a good question to ask before posting pictures of your child on social media.
4. Have I asked if my child feels comfortable with me posting?
If we don’t ask our kids if it’s OK to post a picture of them, we are putting them in a precarious position where they have to tell us not to do it. Some kids have no problem speaking up, but others don’t want to hurt Mom’s feelings or tell us what to do. You might think a “proud mom moment” post is harmless, but your kids might cringe at the attention they get from all your friends the following Sunday at church. Give your kids a choice and, by asking for their opinions and whether they’re comfortable with what you want to post, teach them that they have the right to speak up for what they want.
5. Could posting this jeopardize our relationship?
No amount of likes, shares, or comments that say “that’s hilarious” is worth hurting your relationship with your child. If you want to document the moment so you remember it, send yourself an email with the photo and a story. I created email addresses for my sons several years ago and occasionally send them stories I want us all to remember. It’s a great way to scratch the “share” itch without causing your child to lose trust in you.
What else do you think parents should do before posting pictures of their kids online?
