It’s so easy for moms (me!) to think, “My child would never do that!” But sure enough, the things we say they would never do, they do! So it’s safest to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, and never say never!
I remember when my calm, sweet, non-risktaking daughter called me into the hallway. “Mommy!” she said. “Come look at me!” To my horror, she was climbing up the stairs on the outside of the banister! If you had asked if my daughter would ever do that, I would’ve said, “Never!”
Here are the never say never situations you need to be ready for in parenting:
Toddlers and Preschoolers
The things our little ones do unexpectedly are usually related to their physical safety.
- Putting stuff in their mouths. Even if your child has never picked up the stray bit of dog food or the LEGO® your older child left out, it’s better safe than sorry on this one. Make sure you keep an eye on what’s around your child at all times.
- Hitting or biting on a play date. A friend of mine said this the other day: It’s worse to be the mom of the biter than the kid who got bitten! Even if your child is an angel 99 percent of the time, don’t be dismissive if your daycare worker or the mom who watched your child for you says your little one was the aggressor. To prevent that type of behavior, talk to your child about keeping our hands to ourselves and being gentle with friends and animals.
- Climbing. “Oh, he’s okay to leave for a minute, he’s not going anywhere.” Such is the thought many a mom has had only to return to find her little one high atop a counter, a chair, or the staircase. So even if you think your child would never climb that, jump off of that, or stand on that, better safe than sorry.
School Age
- Acting out in class. Even the nicest children can have an off day at school. Let your child know that you expect them to behave, but don’t be shocked if your studious son or daughter has a bad day. If it’s a once in a blue moon thing, don’t overreact. Remind your child what you expect from him regarding his behavior at school. Also, don’t get defensive if his teacher points out areas where he needs to improve.
- Lying. We want to believe that our children would never tell a lie. But most children, at some point in their lives, will lie. If and when they do, be prepared for how to deal with it with these 10 ways to handle lying. And if you do catch your children in a lie or they develop a pattern of lying, don’t label them a liar or make that part of their identity. Instead, tell them that you know they can be honest and truthful. Encourage them by instilling a desire in them to live up to your expectations.
- Saying mean things to others. None of us wants to think that our daughter could be the mean girl or that our son could be the mean boy. But children are often not the best at biting their tongue. If you hear of your child being mean to other kids or bullying other children, address it firmly and reiterate the importance of being kind.
- Misusing technology. Technology is a huge draw for children. They want to watch TV, surf the net, and use cellphones. So don’t be surprised if your child goes against your screen time rules or visits sites you’ve told them not to. To protect them from the harmful effects of technology, limit their screen time and set parental controls.
Teenagers
The teen years are years of great risk for children—not to sound alarmist. But as teens get more independence, they often make poor choices in the following areas. Here are some ways to talk to your child about these topics so you can head off risk-taking in these areas. And, again, don’t think that your “good” child would never venture into these areas. The combination of non-fully developed brains in quickly maturing bodies mixed with surging hormones makes most children vulnerable.
What do you never say never about when it comes to parenting?
