There’s nothing I love more with my morning cup of English breakfast tea than a heaping helping of tween girl drama. Outfit suggestions met with rolled eyes and stony silence. Friendly reminders to pack the school Chromebook received with the perfect amount of attitude. The everyday do-not-forget checklist met with the ideal mix of perceived insult and exasperation. What mom doesn’t want to begin her day that way?
Tween girl drama has the power to test the patience of even the most relaxed mom. It can feel like we’re caught in a constant battle of wills with a tween, but behind the eye rolls and snippy comebacks is a kid who desperately wants her mom to guide and love her through it all. Here are 3 things a tweenage drama queen needs from her mom.
Let her talk it out.
Tween girls have so much to say, regardless of whether we want to hear it. Where the most pressing issues were once which toys to play with, now we wade into the world of true tween girl drama. People in class make rude comments, teachers just don’t understand them, friends gossip, boys start to pay attention, and so much more. Tween girls bottle up all their words during school hours and they explode later—all over Mom. Taking the time to listen to her, to really listen and respond, fosters a sense of connection and lets her know her thoughts and emotions (and all those words) matter.
Let her cry it out.
Tween girl years are riddled with heightened emotions. Everything feels so enormous in their worlds. That enormity builds until one false move opens the flood gates, unleashing a torrent of anguish and tears. As much as we want to calm and comfort our tween girls, there are times when nothing we say will help. Seeing her hurting hurts your mama heart, but sometimes, she just needs to cry it out. Letting her release those tears allows her to see where her emotions are coming from. She may emerge splotchy with a headache, but she’ll feel better after releasing what has been bottled up.
Let her laugh it out.
Sullen looks and huffy pouts are normal with tween girls. Getting her to crack a smile is akin to cracking nuclear codes. Smiles are no longer freely given. Now, we have to work three times as hard for a simple grin, but it’s worth it! Whether you resort to telling lame jokes, dancing around like a loon, or tickling her into smiling submission, work for those laughs. Laughter truly is the best medicine. It opens the doors to what is going on inside that beautiful little tweenage time bomb. Her laughter will be music to your ears and peace to her tumultuous soul.
There’s no cut-and-dried way to deal with tween girl drama. Each girl is incredibly unique, fearfully and wonderfully made indeed. It is our job as moms to guide our girls through the forest of tween life and understand themselves enough to navigate solo one day. Tween girl drama is unavoidable. It’s how we handle it that determines who lives to fight another day, and who hides in the closet until it passes.
What do you do to survive tween girl drama? How do you help her through it?
