How do you feel when you get a compliment from a stranger? Pretty good, huh? It’s a good feeling when someone notices something about you. But what about when someone you really care about compliments you? That’s a great feeling, and it’s what our kids feel when we use words to point out how special they are. A child who feels valued and accepted by his or her mother can change the world. So don’t underestimate the importance of keeping a list of compliments for kids on hand.
If you have kids who aren’t living up to their potential, using positive words will work wonders to motivate them to move in that direction. In case you’re struggling to be creative with your words, we created this list of compliments. Here are 10 compliments your kids need to hear.
1. Compliment their character. 
We live in a world where integrity is neither consistently taught nor widely expected. When our children demonstrate honesty, kindness, trustworthiness, and humility, that’s a great time to give sincere compliments. Work on humility and 11 other character traits over an entire year with our Good Character Traits calendar and resources.
“It took a lot of humility to let your brother get all the attention at the party. You’re really growing up!”
2. Compliment obedience and respect.
It’s too easy to fall into patterns of disapproval, where the only time we notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than waiting for disobedience or disrespect (then coming down like a ton of bricks), try noticing obedience and respect.
“I don’t always remember to tell you, but you’re a good kid, and I appreciate how you treat people.”
3. Compliment them for simply being part of the family.
Kids need to understand that they are valued simply because they are who they are, not for what they do. Identifying as part of a family unit builds self-esteem, so remind your kids they play an important role at home.
“I’m thankful to be your mom. Our family wouldn’t be the same without you.”
4. Compliment contributions to the family.
Kids need to understand that what they do makes a difference, that the adults notice, and that pitching in is a good part of family life. Whether it’s sweeping the porch, putting out the trash, or putting away laundry, voice your gratitude for what they do.
“Clearing the table is a big help. I appreciate it!”
5. Compliment the quality of their work.
Doing a job at a high standard is always worth noting. Use iMOM’s free printable chore habit tracker to help your kids grow in responsibility.
“You mowed the lawn right up to the edge. I can tell you take this job seriously.”
6. Compliment the effort, even when the result is not the best.
Even if the job isn’t quiet as good as if you’d done it yourself, heap on the praise. You might find your child does even better the next time because she’s taking pride in her work. Reinforce progress, not perfection, to use compliments as a teaching tool.
“Your willingness to help makes me happy! Now, we need to take a look at how you can get the trash to the curb without leaving a trail!”
7. Compliment when they achieve something new.
A well-placed compliment can keep a positive ball rolling. When your kids notice you’ve noticed, it inspires them to keep trying. Even if they are playing it cool, most kids want to impress their parents.
“Wow! That’s a huge leap forward for you there in math, pal. I’m not at all surprised after you worked so hard.”
8. Compliment their style, even if you don’t exactly share their tastes.
We don’t want to force our kids into being clones of us. Even if it’s not a choice you would’ve made for yourself, find something admirable about your child’s style to make him or her feel comfortable with self-expression.
“That outfit is very you! I can tell you put a lot of thought into how you look.”
9. Compliment steps toward a long-term goal.
Waiting for perfection before we’re willing to dish out a compliment is unfair, may dampen enthusiasm, and rarely leads to growth.
“Son, the improvement you’re showing is really impressive. I can see you’re trying.”
10. Compliment their friends.
But only do this when you can do it with sincerity! Friendships are part of your child’s identity. When you like the people she likes, what she hears is “I like you!”
“Your friends are a lot of fun! It gives me a lot of confidence to know you’ve picked friends who have your back.”
Here are 5 Things to Say to Your Kids Every Day and 5 Things Not to Say to Your Kids.
How do you normally compliment your kids?
