My friend Sarah and I headed out for an early morning walk. The air felt fresh and new. “Tell me about your upcoming trip,” I said. Sarah had booked a cruise for her husband and teen daughter but invited their daughter’s friend along too. Sarah shrugged. “It’ll be fun for Eva to have Maddy with us. They’re like sisters.” I glanced at Sarah, but her eyes, hidden behind oversized sunglasses, told me nothing. “I don’t want Eva to be bored,” she continued as we strode through a crosswalk. “And I’m sure she’d rather have a friend to talk to than hang out with her parents all week.” She gave a little laugh, but it sounded like one of those mom lies we sometimes tell ourselves. I waited for her to say something more, but she changed the subject. I thought about that conversation later and wondered what my friend really thought about a fourth member on their family vacation.
As our kids get bigger and start looking more adult, their interests change. But that doesn’t mean they’re done with us! Here are 7 lies moms tell themselves about their teens and why we shouldn’t believe them.
1. He doesn’t care if I’m there.
Don’t believe this lie we sometimes tell ourselves! He may not admit it to you, but he does care if you’re in the auditorium watching him play his violin or somewhere in the stands as he goes for a tackle. Last Friday night, I showed up for the football game and sat near the marching band. When the kids headed down the bleachers for the halftime show, I got the feeling my son saw me, but wouldn’t look my way. However, in the third quarter, he glanced over, trombone in hand, and gave a quick wave. My heart melted.
2. She’d rather spend the day with her friends.
Friends are important, but she wants time with you too. So, insist on it, even if she gripes. You only have a short amount of time to work on your relationship and build a stockpile of memories before she grows up and moves out. She values your opinion of her more than you think. This is another one of the mom lies that needs to go.
3. He thinks I embarrass him.
Maybe. But good moms don’t have to be cool in the “wears a leather jacket” kind of way. A good mom is allowed to be a little embarrassing because she loves her child. And in the end, your love is what he needs to see—even if it’s a hug-attempt in public!
4. She wishes she had another mom.
Don’t believe this lie! Maybe she’s said it to be hurtful, or maybe she just wants a mom who’ll let her stay out past curfew. But you’re the one who always has a hug for her and dries her tears when she’s sad. You’ve bandaged her scraped knees and fixed little bows in her hair. You’re the one who holds a very special place in her heart—and no one can replace that.
5. He doesn’t listen to me anyway.
Half the time, I’m not sure if my son’s really listening to what I’m saying. But then I see him tucking in his shirt or buckling down to do his homework right after school, and I’m struck by the realization that he truly does listen to, and care about, what I have to say.
6. She’d rather take her friends’ advice.
Another one of the mom lies we tell ourselves! She might prefer her friends’ advice because it’s more fun. But she knows your advice comes from a place of wisdom, experience, and the deepest of all loves. So, don’t hold back.
7. He doesn’t need me anymore.
Yes, he does. This is the biggest of all lies moms sometimes tell themselves. Your child needs you to listen when he wants to talk. And he needs more hugs than you might think. In the teen years, he’s still growing in mind and spirit, so take advantage of it and encourage his faith in God. Make him laugh and make more family memories together while you can. He may not be so little anymore, but inside, he’s still your baby. And he will always need your love.
Mom lies can seep into our thoughts when we least expect them. Have you had to push back on any? Which ones?
