For many moms, “it’s complicated” sums up how we feel about traveling for our jobs. It’s why in addition to packing our laptops and work clothes, we might also bring along the guilt of leaving our kids. I even stow away those anxious “what if” thoughts to chew on like Nerds Gummy Clusters (which I also throw in my travel bag). If you want to stop carrying all that extra baggage on business trips, follow these 5 tips for working moms to make your work trip easier.

1. Let your child know you’ll be gone.

As a 2-year-old, my daughter started to get into watching NFL games and making her own weekly picks, just like we do on ESPN. So, from a young age, Reese knew that Mommy travels for work to talk about football. However, before leaving town, I still make sure she knows when I’m going, where I will be headed, and when I’m coming home. Right now, my son, Jack, is too young to understand, but I tell him, too. It helps make my leaving a little bit easier because it’s not a surprise for the kids.

Talking with your kids about your work trip gives them a heads-up about a change to the family routine. For example, on a typical day, I make Reese breakfast and take her to school. When I travel for work, that changes for her. Preparing kids ahead of time helps make the transition smoother for everyone. Try writing your trip down on a printable calendar to give your child a visual. (Try this Good Character Traits for Kids version.)

2. Leave a little note for each day you’re gone.

Each day I’m gone, I leave a little note (like these) or a small gift for my kids. It’s a small way to show them I’m thinking about them that day. And, since my daughter is a little older, she hypes up the notes to Jack. In the morning, she’ll say something like, “Baby, I wonder what Momma left for us today! Let’s go see!” It gives them something fun to look forward to and helps them pass the days quickly.

As a working mom, the demands of travel can be tough, but these small gestures create a heart connection across the miles. Whether it’s a simple “I love you” or a funny joke, each note serves as a daily reminder of your presence and love. These little surprises will bring a smile to your child’s face and offer a sense of consistency and comfort in your absence.

3. Stay connected while you’re away.

The best tips for working moms are the simplest ones, and this one is a no-brainer. Phone calls, video calls, or even swapping emojis or silly videos via text lets your child know you’re thinking about her. Consider setting a time each day for a call and making it special for each child. For example, you might read a bedtime story or sing a lullaby as part of the call, or maybe your child wants a virtual tour of your hotel room while telling you a joke he heard from Dad.

But sometimes, that call can end in unexpected tears because your child misses you. In those moments, instill confidence in your child. Remind her that she’s safe and loved and that you’ll be home soon.

4. Encourage your husband. 

I could not do what I do without my husband, Josh. His love for our family and support of my career keep me going. But I know traveling for work can be hard on all families, including my own. Routines get disrupted, responsibilities get shifted, and home life runs differently when Mom is on the road.

It’s why I think one of the best tips for working moms focuses on the dads. Let your husband know how much you appreciate the extra load he carries in your absence. Send him a quick text, leave him a voicemail, or even plan a special date for when you come back home. Parenting on your own takes a toll, and your intentional encouragement shows your husband that you value him.

5. Give yourself some grace. 

As moms, we hear a lot about what motherhood is supposed to look like and how we’re supposed to do it. Thankfully, one of the things I learned in my job is to block out the noise. Still, whether you travel all the time like me or just periodically, it’s hard not to get wrapped up in the fact that you feel like you’re not there enough or that you’re missing moments with your kids. But, Mom, the work you’re doing is important, too, so give yourself some grace and space to excel at work and as a mom.

When you find yourself having a tough day being away for work, remind yourself that the work you do matters. You’ve got talents, expertise, and experiences your colleagues depend on. Plus, you’re modeling for your child time management, purpose, and a healthy work ethic. And it’s cool to have your kids really proud of something that you’re doing, too.

What are some of your favorite tips for working moms you love to share with your friends?

The post Laura Rutledge: 5 of My Best Tips for Working Moms Who Travel appeared first on iMOM.

I thought for a moment and then told her that the dangers of giving our kids room to take risks are possible but not likely. What is guaranteed, though, is that if we don’t give them independence, they’ll grow up unable to deal with life’s problems or to make healthy decisions for themselves. So how do we turn down the volume on thoughts like Hold them close. The world is scary! and crank up the ones that say This is a good thing. Be courageous! Here are 4 things to keep telling yourself.

1. The world is safer than my fear is telling me.

All right, I’m gonna hit you with some facts that will hopefully help you breathe a little easier. According to data from the National Institute of Justice, the risk of a minor getting abducted by a stranger is about one in 720,000, almost the cliché “one in a million.” The number of missing children’s cases fell by 27% from 2015 to 2022. And the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reported the number of pedestrians between the ages of 1 and 12 struck and killed by cars has fallen dramatically over the past two decades.

I told a friend this, and she said, “Stats are lower because we don’t let our kids out of our sights!” OK, but the population has also risen and those numbers still dropped. The point is, if it was safe enough for us to play independently when we were kids, then it’s safe enough for our kids to do it now. Safer even.

You might be thinking, “A low chance is still a chance, and I don’t want my child to be the one in a million who gets hurt.” I hear you, but if you live in a reasonably safe neighborhood, this is the point when you have to ask yourself if you’re thinking worst-case scenario. And if you are, consider if that’s a healthy place to parent from. (Hint: It’s not.) I often have to remind myself that God loves my kids more than I do and then release the fear.

2. My kids need to experience discomfort.

If you give a child independence, there’s a good chance she’ll eventually get hurt. She’ll fall down, get rejected on the playground, get lost while driving home from the football game across town. But this pain or discomfort is a positive consequence because as Jonathan Haidt explains in The Anxious Generation, kids are “antifragile.” That means they not only can get knocked down (resilience), they need to get knocked down occasionally to become stronger.

Here’s a good visual to explain why. In the late 1980s, an experiment to create an artificial ecosystem was a failure partly due to a tree problem. The trees grew, but they fell over before reaching maturity because the designer didn’t realize saplings need wind to grow properly. Wind bends the tree which strengthens its roots. It also changes the cell structure of the wood which helps the tree withstand stronger winds as it ages. Your child needs to experience his own winds to transform into a stronger version of himself.

3. I’m making an investment in their mental health.

Maybe you’ve read here on iMOM how giving a child independence can lead to confidence. As a mom, you’ll get to see all of that confidence in action. Your daughter will tell you how she defended a kid being teased on the playground. When the grocery cashier asks your son how he’s doing, you’ll notice he makes eye contact and responds politely.

But something else is happening under the surface that’s just as important. As Haidt says, that confidence they gain is “inoculating them to anxiety.” They approach the world in “discover mode” instead of from a place of fear and uncertainty. When we overprotect, our kids are unable to evaluate and handle risks. If they can’t determine what’s a threat, they feel threatened by everything, which means anxiety levels can skyrocket.

4. If I feel the need to protect, I still can.

But these are our babies, and what kind of moms would we be if we didn’t protect them? Our children do need us to protect them fiercely, just not as they play with neighborhood kids in the cul-de-sac. It’s time to direct our energy toward the virtual world.

Haidt points out that many parents won’t let their children out of their sights for fear of sexual predators, “but sex criminals nowadays spend most of their time in the virtual world because the internet makes it so much easier…” I can see my actions as a mother reflected in his declaration that “we are overprotecting our children in the real world while underprotecting them online.” I don’t fear the web as much as I do the bathroom at Walmart, but I realize I have it backward. So if we’re going to overprotect, overprotect around screens. Wait to introduce them to the virtual world and push them to play in the real world instead.

What kind of pep talk do you give yourself when you feel afraid to give your child independence?

The post I Want to Give My Child More Independence, but It Terrifies Me appeared first on iMOM.

I wondered—do kids share these frank thoughts with their moms? I’m sure an intuitive child might think that sharing those feelings would make Mom feel bad or worry. Are your kids sharing them with you? In case they aren’t and you want a teacher’s perspective on the impact of divorce on children, here are 4 things many of my students think and feel.

1. “I have a new job.”

One child told me that when his parents divorced, a well-meaning adult said, “You’re the man of the house now.” Since then, this very conscientious child has put extreme pressure on himself to be a little adult. He feels responsible for his mother and his younger siblings.

Research out of the University of Colorado Boulder found that one impact of divorce on children is that kids say they “grew up faster” in the areas of “parent-child relationships” and “sibling relationships.” Help your children avoid these outcomes by not expecting them to act like adults.  Avoid discussing finances with them, don’t lean on them emotionally, and don’t expect too much from them in caring for their siblings. Be very clear with your child: “You’re still a kid, and this isn’t your responsibility.”

2.“I can fix it.”

A sweet preteen said that after her parents divorced she decided to become very quiet. “I thought that maybe the reason they got divorced was because I was too loud.”

Children may not share what they’re feeling during and after a divorce. They see that mom and dad are stressed and upset, so they want to figure out how to make things better. Kids who’ve experienced a divorce need frequent reassurance that the divorce was not their fault, even if they say they already know that.

3. “I can’t figure out my emotions.”

I received an email about a student from one of our school’s guidance counselors. She explained that his parents were going through a rough divorce, and he was dealing with anxiety because of it. She asked me to reach out to his mom if I noticed any significant changes, like sleeping in class or struggling with his classwork.

The impact of divorce on kids may come out “sideways”—sadness may look like anger, and anxiety may appear as a lack of interest in school. These children need moms who will look beyond their behavior to what’s going on inside. Even if your child can’t or won’t verbalize how he feels, talk with him to discover the emotions behind the actions so you can help him process them in a healthy way.

4. “It’s too much for me.”

“Where’s your homework?” I asked one of my seventh graders. “I left it at my dad’s,” he said, sadly. I knew he was trying to stay on top of his schoolwork, but shuttling between his parents’ houses was tripping him up.

Children with divorced parents can feel overwhelmed by practical aspects of their living situation: keeping up with their things as they move from Mom’s to Dad’s, understanding differing expectations and rules, and having to be pleasant when they meet their parents’ new romantic interests. So, to the extent that is reasonable and that you can afford, have what your children need at both houses. Put a schoolwork basket by the door at each house, and come to an agreement with your ex about how to introduce new partners.

For mom: Keep talking and listening.

The impact of divorce on children isn’t always obvious. Even if your child seems OK, continue talking and listening. Reassure your child with words like, “You can tell me anything. It won’t hurt my feelings. You don’t have to put on a happy face for me. I want to know what you’re feeling. I love you.”

How have you gotten your kids to share their feelings about your divorce? If your feelings are still on the raw side, here are five ways you can start healing your own heart.

The post 4 Things Many Children Think and Feel During Divorce appeared first on iMOM.

A couple of days later, in a session with my counselor, she said, “You had a panic attack. Let’s talk about it.” I explained what had induced the attack (yes, it involved my kids), and after listening for a while, she said three words to me that have forever changed the way I think about how to get through a tough time. If you’re in the thick of parenting or a personal crisis, sometimes a few comforting words can make a difference. Here’s what my counselor said to me, plus 4 other things to say to yourself when you’re overwhelmed.

1. She said, “This is hard.”

I replied, “I know,” and she said, “Do you?” Hmm… That caught me off guard. I think I’d been telling myself I was struggling because I wasn’t strong enough or because I needed better boundaries. But when she acknowledged that what I was experiencing was difficult, a wave of self-compassion washed over me. This feels hard because it is, so cut yourself some slack.

We often think that because being a mom is “natural,” every parenting challenge should naturally be overcome with ease. But sometimes, the best strategy for how to get through a tough time is to acknowledge that it’s tough. When you do, you’ll stop feeling like you’re deficient in some way and realize you’re human.

2. “Some days are harder than others.”

Every mom knows there are days when you kill it and days when you feel like it might just kill you. Knowing how to get through a tough time starts with remembering it’s temporary. Some days start at 1 a.m. with one child crying, “Mama! I’m gonna throw up!” or end with another kid yelling  “You’re the worst mom ever! I hate you!” But those 24 hours will come to a close, and a new day (hopefully a better one) will begin.

3. “It’s not my job to give my kids everything or create a perfect world.”

You’re not gonna like hearing this—sometimes we are the authors of our own problematic stories. The pressure we feel to give our kids the best experiences in school, in friendships, and at home leads us to take on way too much. The tough times we feel because we’re busy or tired stem from the belief that anything less than a perfect childhood will leave our kids with irreparable scars. That’s false. The sooner you let go of the idea that your children’s lives have to be perfect, you can also let go of all the pressure you feel to orchestrate that perfection.

4. “It’s not just OK if my children struggle; it’s good.”

One of my kids was struggling with friendships last fall, and I think I cried as much as he did, maybe more. At the same time, my other son was dealing with disappointment over losing an art contest he’d entered. I wanted so badly to make all of the hurt go away. But when that feeling rises up, I have to remember that struggles produce perseverance, problem solving skills, and the ability to think critically.

5. “I deserve the same kindness I extend to others.”

When my husband has a stressful week, I try to find ways to make life easier for him. I’ll make dinner (usually his job), ease up on my demands for little chores to be done around the house, and pull back on weekend plans so he can rest. Meanwhile, when I am in the thick of it—juggling work, kids, house, stress—I tell myself to get it together and try harder. I’d never say to my husband or a friend the harsh words I say to myself.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the demands of life or going through a tough time, treat yourself the way you’d treat someone you love.

What’s something you’ve told yourself when you were in a difficult season in life? Need more quick affirmations? Here are 25.

The post 5 Calming Thoughts to Repeat When You’re Overwhelmed appeared first on iMOM.

The next time Allison and I talked, she’d gotten some tips from her counselor. She told Allison to imagine herself as a fire marshal, not a firefighter. Allison can’t control her ex, but she can investigate the situation and control her own responses to keep the flames from rising. Allison said she now pictures herself with her fire marshal badge anytime things start to get hot. If you need some wisdom for how to de-escalate tension between you and your ex during a disagreement, here are 5 other things that can help.

1. Take a breather.

Imagine this: You receive a text from your ex, his words dripping with accusation. Your initial reaction might be to fire back a rebuttal. But before you hit send, take a beat. Allison said, “There was a time I almost replied to an angry text from my ex at 2 a.m.! I realized later how unproductive that would have been.”

We’ve all been there—in a heated text exchange that leaves you feeling worse than when you started. In the moment, it’s easy to react impulsively. But rule number one for how to de-escalate tension between you and your ex is to give yourself time to cool down. Take a few deep breaths, distract yourself with a walk, or even write a draft version of the text and let it sit for 24 hours.

2. Use facts over feelings.

When emotions run high, facts go by the wayside. We use lines like “you always” or “you never” which only add fuel to the fire. Focus on the specific issue at hand. Instead of, “You never pick up the kids on time”, try, “Last week, they were late for soccer practice because of pick-up delays.” Sticking to the facts keeps the conversation grounded and reduces the space for defensiveness.

3. Pick up the phone.

Ask anyone who’s co-parented how to de-escalate tension between you and your ex during a fight, and they’ll say texting can be a breeding ground for misunderstandings. Emojis can be misinterpreted, and the lack of vocal cues creates a space for negativity to fester.

If you and your ex can have a civil conversation, pick up the phone. The sound of each other’s voices can help humanize the situation and promote empathy. If phone calls always devolve into arguments, stick to written communication, but choose your words carefully. If you have a friend you trust to be honest with you, run the text by her and ask, “Does this sound fair? Could it be misinterpreted?”

4. Focus on your child.

Remember, you’re still a team, even if you’re not a couple anymore. The ultimate goal is to create a stable and supportive environment for your child.

Instead of getting sucked into a power struggle about who’s right in this situation, ask him (and yourself), “How can we resolve this disagreement in a way that benefits our kids?” This shift in focus can help steer the conversation toward solutions.

5. Lean on the power of apology.

We all make mistakes. If you find yourself contributing to the escalation of a disagreement, don’t be afraid to apologize. A simple “I’m sorry I raised my voice earlier” can go a long way in diffusing tension and showing your ex-husband you’re willing to work together.

Open communication, even if it’s not always the smoothest, paves the way for a more positive co-parenting experience for you and your child. If you keep running into the same issues, consider a few sessions with a counselor. She can give you tools for de-escalating tension between you and your ex. You might not look forward to the next disagreement, but you’ll come out feeling more confident that you made the healthiest choices for your children.

How do you keep tensions from rising when you and your ex-husband disagree?

The post 5 Ways to De-Escalate Disagreements With Your Ex appeared first on iMOM.

On days when negative thoughts and worry cloud your mind, it’s possible to feel better if you can shift your focus. Here are 25 mental health quotes for moms to help you find some light today.

Inspiring Mental Health Quotes for Moms

1. “Faith is the art of holding on to things in spite of your changing moods and circumstances.” –C.S. Lewis

2. “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” –Fred Rogers

3. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” –Winston Churchill

4. “Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.” –Erik Erikson

5. “Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” –Charles Spurgeon

6. “Mental health problems don’t define who you are. They are something you experience. You walk in the rain and you feel the rain, but, importantly, YOU ARE NOT THE RAIN.” –Matt Haig

7. “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” –Aristotle

8. “Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” –Mother Teresa

9. “Stop worrying about what you aren’t and start being happy about who you are.” –John Hagee

10. “You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” –Winston Churchill

11. “Everyone experiences a version of anxiety or worry in their lives, and maybe we go through it in a different or more intense way for longer periods of time, but there’s nothing wrong with you.” –Emma Stone

12. “I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.” –Amy March, from Little Women

13. “I am not afraid. I was born to do this.” –St. Joan of Arc

14. “I have been bent and broken, but—I hope—into a better shape.” –Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

15. “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

10 More Mental Health Quotes for Moms

16. “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” –Fredrick Douglass

17. “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” –St. Francis de Sales

18. “Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” –Corrie ten Boom

19. “This should be the motto of every follower of Jesus Christ: Never stop praying no matter how dark and hopeless it may seem.” –Reverend Billy Graham

For more inspiration, check out our 7 Quick Prayers of Encouragement for Moms.

20. “I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silent hurt more.” –C.S. Lewis

21. “If you can’t fly, run. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl, but by all means, keep moving.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.

22. “We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures, we are the sum of the Father’s love for us and our real capacity to become the image of His Son Jesus.” –St. John Paul II

23. “It is not the trials in your life that develop or destroy you, but rather your response to those hardships.” –Charles Stanley

24. “Don’t let anything in life leave you perpetually breathless and in angst. The presence of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional.” –Max Lucado

25. “Pray for wisdom to deal with whatever is worrying you. Pray that God will act to change the circumstances according to his will. He doesn’t always do what we want him to, but he knows what’s best for us, and he can be trusted.” –Reverend Billy Graham

Mental health quotes for moms can help us shift our focus. Which ones speak to you?

The post 25 Mental Health Quotes for Moms appeared first on iMOM.

Wouldn’t it be easier if our kids were growing up in the same world we did? I’d be great at teaching my kids how to share a phoneline and scanning song lyrics on a CD booklet. I’m not saying we have it harder than other generations did. It’s just different, and different can be scary. But despite these 5 reasons being a mom is hard, there’s also one truth you can hold on to.

1. Just when you think you’re doing it right, your feed refreshes.

What’s your parenting style this week? I’m kidding, but not. A friend forwarded an Instagram post and said, “Have you guys heard of conscious parenting?” and I replied, “Wait. I thought we were all about authoritative parenting.”

Being a mom is hard enough without all of the opinions on social media. Thanks to the constant flow of influencers, “What’s the right way to do it?” can echo so loudly that we can’t hear our inner voices speak.

2. Technology feels like a must today, not an option.

“My daughter’s teacher told everyone to download this app to turn in homework. But she doesn’t have a phone! This is so aggravating.” I could feel the heat coming off my friend’s text, and I understood. If you feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle against tech seeping into every crevice of your child’s life, you’re not alone. It’s disheartening to want to do the right thing but feel incapable of doing so.

3. We’re supposed to stop trying and try at the same time.

“Mama, give yourself grace…” Yep. I’ve heard it. I’ve said it. I’ve written it. But there’s still this little voice in my head that says “but keep trying to do more.” We’re told that we don’t have to climb the corporate ladder and be crafty and have the perfect home and dress in the right cut jeans—and man, do we want so badly to believe that. But then we see our friend do it and think if she can do it all, then what’s wrong with me?

We know the expectations put on women are unrealistic, but we also celebrate the moms who are killing it because, wow! They’re incredible. It’s difficult to let both of those truths exist in our minds and not wonder if we’re falling short in some way.

4. It’s so hard to keep up.

When I wrote an article about kids doing “nose cover” in photos, the response I got from most people was, “I’ve never heard of this,” which was followed by, “I just can’t keep up.” Slang, hashtags, trends, apps, platforms… Ignoring it all is tempting, knowing whatever is in today will be out tomorrow. But when your kids’ safety is at stake, you have to stay engaged.

5. We’re more aware of mental health (which is great but overwhelming).

More than any other issue, parents today worry that their children might struggle with anxiety or depression at some point, according to a study by Pew Research. We know enough about mental health to be on the lookout, but not enough to feel equipped to help them, and that’s a lot for us to carry.

We know kids can get depressed and they can die by suicide. We’ve also heard stories of parents being completely in the dark that their kids were struggling. We don’t feel prepared for the mental health crisis our kids are facing post-pandemic, and it feels like uncharted territory for everyone, not just parents.

If you’re worried that getting help for your child might send him a message that there’s something wrong with him, you have to let that go. According to the CDC, in 2019, 1 in 10 kids saw a therapist. Therapy helps kids understand that they are normal and gives them healthy coping skills that can serve them for life. Here’s a resource for you to find help.

But, Mom, as hard as it is to be us in 2024…

We were chosen to be moms right now for a reason. If it’s no accident that this is the age we’re parenting in, then I believe we’ll be given what we need to face all the things we’re tempted to hide from. Our moms and their moms didn’t think parenting was a breeze. I think they’d tell us that with each challenge came a wise word from a friend or a moment of peace that gave them the courage and strength to work through it. You are equipped for this challenge and capable of rising to it. You’re getting stronger and more capable every day.

What gives you strength when you feel like being a mom is hard?

The post 5 Reasons Being a Mom Is Hard Today appeared first on iMOM.

While it’s not a universal truth, moms tend to focus on emotional connection and nurturing, which depend on safe and secure environments. Dads often bring an element of playfulness, independence, and exploration to parenting. Our different approaches can make it feel like a tug of war, but kids thrive with both. Take a look at these 5 things dads do differently and why it’s not really a battle of moms vs dads.

1. The Rowdy Roughhousing

Dads often corner the market in horseplay. You won’t see many moms tossing kids up in the air or trying out headlocks on her kids. And, after pulling off a relaxing bedtime routine, it definitely won’t be us instigating a tickle fight instead of a tuck-in.

Well, guess what! Research shows roughhousing with Dad actually helps your child regulate her responses and emotions. “You might have to control your strength, learn when things have gone too far—or maybe your father steps on your toe by accident and you feel cross!” explains Dr. Paul Ramchandani. “It’s a safe environment in which children can practice how to respond. If they react the wrong way, they might get told off, but it’s not the end of the world—and next time, they might remember to behave differently.”

What’s a mom to do? Try to say “be careful” less often. Instead, listen to the joyful squeals as your child races around the house to avoid the “tickle monster,” and remember your husband loves your child just as much as you do.

2. The Parkour Parties

OK. These aren’t really parties. It’s just normal life, like walking up the stairs or crossing the street. Why can’t we just hold our child’s hand and act casual? Instead, a dad will grab a kid’s hand and leap sideways from one crosswalk line to the next, yelling, “Parkour!” My husband loved trying out the “Elf” splits with our girls on escalators. So, Mom, I get it!

While it might feel like moms vs dads, it’s really just a different way they move from Point A to Point B. All of those leaps and bounds actually help your child’s gross motor skills grow by, well, leaps and bounds. Your child develops body awareness and spatial reasoning and builds muscle strength.

What’s a mom to do? If parkour isn’t your kind of party, try some of these movement activities to do with little kids instead.

3. The “Let’s See What Happens” Experiments

My dad poured gasoline down the driveway and lit it on fire to teach us how flammable gasoline is. My mom was not amused. However, as teenagers, my sister and I never forgot why we needed to pay attention when pumping gas. While I definitely don’t advocate replicating my dad’s demonstration, hands-on experiments strengthen neural pathways and support memorization and retention. Plus, research published in the Applied Physical Science Journal shows students learn more when taught through hands-on activities.

What’s a mom to do? Get your hands dirty, too, with these explosive science experiments presented in a more organized way that your kid will love—and none of them involve setting anything on fire!

4. The Kid vs Kid Competitions

Forget about moms vs dads. Let’s talk about how dads can turn anything and everything into a competition with kids. Let’s see who can run to the swings first. Who can make the most free throws in a row? Who can balance the most books on their head? Let’s see who can build a LEGO car from scratch the fastest! Competition can be a great thing for kids. Even healthy sibling competition can encourage teamwork, sportsmanship, and self-improvement.

What’s a mom to do? Talk with your husband and get on the same page about the differences between healthy competition and creating competition that encourages sibling rivalry. The latter can lead to jealousy, resentment, and aggression toward one another.

5. The Sugar Rush Hour

“You get some sugar! And you get some sugar!” Moms might be the ones traditionally baking the cookies, but some days, it seems like dads are out there doling out the candy, soft drinks, and gummy snacks as if it’s someone’s birthday. But, in reality, it’s just an average Sunday afternoon. Why can’t they add in some fruit or protein?

What’s a mom to do? Why don’t you make these cool snacks your kids will love eating (almost) as much as those special treats? After all, some moms vs dads battles might be best fought by agreeing to disagree—and passing the veggies.

Which of these moms vs dads parenting scenarios do you battle?

The post 5 Things Dads Do That Kids Love but Moms Secretly Hate appeared first on iMOM.

On top of being annoyed that Aubrey was upset with her, Grace was ticked that she was the only parent who seemed to be bothered by the idea. Have you ever felt like the only mom who says no? It can bring thoughts and feelings that make it difficult to stick to your guns. Here are 5 of those feelings you’re probably wrestling with and how to respond to them.

1. You feel torn.

Being the mom who says no might make you wonder if you’re being overprotective. “Should I just get him a phone?” my friend Cara asked me about her 12-year-old son. He felt left out of his friend group because everyone else chatted after school. But she didn’t think he was ready. The other parents think their boys could handle the responsibility.

If this is how you feel… remember to think long-term. What would be best for Cara’s son now might be to have a phone so he can connect with his buddies, but in the long term, she didn’t think starting him with a phone at age 12 was in his best interest.

2. You feel lonely.

Another friend’s daughter got invited to a co-ed after-prom slumber party. My friend gave it a hard no. Because she said no, she also didn’t get invited to the gathering of moms who were planning the party. It’s hard to be the parent not doing the popular thing. It’s emotionally (and sometimes physically) lonely not to have the support and solidarity of a mom friend.

If this is how you feel… look in the mirror and repeat to yourself some of the wisdom you’ve surely shared with your kids about popularity and being an independent thinker. Here’s a good one: “What’s right isn’t always popular, and what’s popular isn’t always right.”

3. You feel scared.

My son is 13 and doesn’t have a phone yet. He won’t be allowed on social media when he does eventually get one. I dread the battle that may ensue and fear that he’ll pull away or hide things from me because I’m the “mean mom.”

If this is how you feel… remember kids thrive on rules enforced with love and reason. They might pull away a little, but they won’t go far if they know you love them. And don’t discount the possibility your child wants you to say no so she has an excuse not to do something that makes her feel uneasy, like that post-dance sleepover.

4. You feel angry.

Closely related to the lonely feeling you might have as the mom who says no is the anger or frustration that builds. When other people don’t care about the same things you care about, it makes this parenting thing harder for you. When my sister said no to my niece going to a rated-R movie when she was 12, she said to me, “It really irks me that the other moms are OK with this. C’mon!”

If this is how you feel… remember that different families have different rules and ways they’re raising their kids. You can only control your actions. And don’t be afraid to speak up to the group about why you’re saying no. You might give another mom the courage to put her foot down, too.

5. You feel overwhelmed and tired.

Being a good mom isn’t easy. That’s just the plain ol’ truth. Saying no when others are saying yes is tiring, and your child might come back at you with intense emotions that leave you feeling like you should just give up and give in. And to make it more overwhelming, you know that sometimes it’s OK to bend the rules. All of these decisions are a lot to handle.

If you feel this way… don’t be afraid to tell your child you need time to think. Being flexible with a rule can be a good opportunity to discuss the reasons behind your yeses and nos. With the right intentions, you could go from the mom who says no to the mom who listens to her child and has open discussions about why you make the parenting decisions you do.

What feeling do you wrestle with when you feel like the only parent in the group saying no?

The post 5 Things You Feel When You’re the Only Mom Saying No appeared first on iMOM.

Now I’m not saying you should pretend like the hard parts of single parenting don’t exist, but listening to my friend showed me how beauty and challenges often share the same space. My friend said these 5 benefits of being a single mom helped her love better. Can you see them in your life, too?

1. The Bond You Have With Your Children

One of the most precious benefits of being a single mom is the closeness you develop with your children. You’re their rock, their confidante, their everything. Without another parent to share the daily responsibilities, you naturally become a team, facing the world together. You share more laughter, more tears, more whispered secrets at tuck-in time.

Marla said as hard as it had been to be the only one there to respond to a middle-of-the night cry, she knew that when her kids thought about the voice that comforted them, it would always be hers.

2. Learning Resourcefulness

Being a single mom hones your resourcefulness like no other experience. You become a magician, turning a shoestring budget into a three-course meal, a master negotiator convincing your child to wear yesterday’s clothes “one last time,” and a tireless advocate, fighting for your children’s needs.

I’ve seen this in action. Marla has a can-do attitude that permeates every aspect of her life. Her resourcefulness has given her a skillset that’s not only gotten her through the past six years, but empowers her for future challenges.

3. The Unexpected Family You Build

Single motherhood doesn’t mean you go it alone. You build a unique family around you—friends, extended family, other single parents. These people become your cheerleaders, your support system, and your occasional babysitters. Marla not only had that in me, but she also found support in her next-door neighbors who let the kids swim in their pool and a church friend who swung into car line whenever she got stuck at work.

The village a single mom forms might be the greatest blessing of all because it impacts the kids in a profound way. Derek Peterson, Founder of Integrated Youth Development, theorized that if each child has five quality adults pouring into them, they can thrive. That includes grandparents, a tutor, and your BFF who surprises the kids by taking them for ice cream.

4. Gaining a Different Perspective

Single motherhood offers a unique perspective on the world. You see things not just as a parent but also as a single person navigating a world often designed for couples.

Marla said, “Becoming a single mom shut down my judgmental side real quick!” She saw life differently because she no longer fit in the family mold she’d envisioned. This perspective helped her raise her children with open hearts and minds and to show respect to people who are different from them.

5. Sharing in Your Children’s Successes

You probably know the feeling of pride that comes from witnessing your child’s successes. These moments fuel your spirit and remind you that the challenges are worth every sleepless night.

I noticed Marla found a special kind of joy in her sons’ victories. All moms feel that for their children, but it’s different for a single mom. Marla didn’t have her husband to high five when one of their boys scored the winning goal in his lacrosse championship. She didn’t get to share a proud text with Dad when their other son got a 100% on his civics test. She nurtured these incredible young men all on her own, and celebrated their wins knowing that.

What are some of the benefits of being a single mom that you want people to know?

The post 5 Ways Solo Parenting Unleashes Your Fiercest Love appeared first on iMOM.