Wouldn’t it be easier if our kids were growing up in the same world we did? I’d be great at teaching my kids how to share a phoneline and scanning song lyrics on a CD booklet. I’m not saying we have it harder than other generations did. It’s just different, and different can be scary. But despite these 5 reasons being a mom is hard, there’s also one truth you can hold on to.

1. Just when you think you’re doing it right, your feed refreshes.

What’s your parenting style this week? I’m kidding, but not. A friend forwarded an Instagram post and said, “Have you guys heard of conscious parenting?” and I replied, “Wait. I thought we were all about authoritative parenting.”

Being a mom is hard enough without all of the opinions on social media. Thanks to the constant flow of influencers, “What’s the right way to do it?” can echo so loudly that we can’t hear our inner voices speak.

2. Technology feels like a must today, not an option.

“My daughter’s teacher told everyone to download this app to turn in homework. But she doesn’t have a phone! This is so aggravating.” I could feel the heat coming off my friend’s text, and I understood. If you feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle against tech seeping into every crevice of your child’s life, you’re not alone. It’s disheartening to want to do the right thing but feel incapable of doing so.

3. We’re supposed to stop trying and try at the same time.

“Mama, give yourself grace…” Yep. I’ve heard it. I’ve said it. I’ve written it. But there’s still this little voice in my head that says “but keep trying to do more.” We’re told that we don’t have to climb the corporate ladder and be crafty and have the perfect home and dress in the right cut jeans—and man, do we want so badly to believe that. But then we see our friend do it and think if she can do it all, then what’s wrong with me?

We know the expectations put on women are unrealistic, but we also celebrate the moms who are killing it because, wow! They’re incredible. It’s difficult to let both of those truths exist in our minds and not wonder if we’re falling short in some way.

4. It’s so hard to keep up.

When I wrote an article about kids doing “nose cover” in photos, the response I got from most people was, “I’ve never heard of this,” which was followed by, “I just can’t keep up.” Slang, hashtags, trends, apps, platforms… Ignoring it all is tempting, knowing whatever is in today will be out tomorrow. But when your kids’ safety is at stake, you have to stay engaged.

5. We’re more aware of mental health (which is great but overwhelming).

More than any other issue, parents today worry that their children might struggle with anxiety or depression at some point, according to a study by Pew Research. We know enough about mental health to be on the lookout, but not enough to feel equipped to help them, and that’s a lot for us to carry.

We know kids can get depressed and they can die by suicide. We’ve also heard stories of parents being completely in the dark that their kids were struggling. We don’t feel prepared for the mental health crisis our kids are facing post-pandemic, and it feels like uncharted territory for everyone, not just parents.

If you’re worried that getting help for your child might send him a message that there’s something wrong with him, you have to let that go. According to the CDC, in 2019, 1 in 10 kids saw a therapist. Therapy helps kids understand that they are normal and gives them healthy coping skills that can serve them for life. Here’s a resource for you to find help.

But, Mom, as hard as it is to be us in 2024…

We were chosen to be moms right now for a reason. If it’s no accident that this is the age we’re parenting in, then I believe we’ll be given what we need to face all the things we’re tempted to hide from. Our moms and their moms didn’t think parenting was a breeze. I think they’d tell us that with each challenge came a wise word from a friend or a moment of peace that gave them the courage and strength to work through it. You are equipped for this challenge and capable of rising to it. You’re getting stronger and more capable every day.

What gives you strength when you feel like being a mom is hard?

The post 5 Reasons Being a Mom Is Hard Today appeared first on iMOM.

The words we use to describe our children matter. And particularly for girls, these words can have power to lift or deflate. By making these 5 tweaks to your language, you can empower your daughter.

1. Unless you’re talking about a puppy, drop the word “cute.”

“I don’t want to be called cute.” After days of gloomy silence, my daughter finally told me what was on her mind: “Puppies are cute. I’m cool.” It took me weeks to stop defaulting to the word “cute.” But doing so forced me to find other words to describe her: cool, creative, innovative, thoughtful.

Tweaking your word choice can empower your daughter. In this short LEGO film, a girl named Matilda says, “Sometimes I don’t want my work to be ‘cute.’” That particular word can feel diminishing to girls. It downplays their efforts. Whether your daughter has built a pillow fort or performed a dance with her sister, find a word that more accurately describes what she’s done: dynamic, ingenious, perceptive, focused.

2. Use words that describe her abilities and contributions.

Yes. I do tell my daughter she looks beautiful, but I don’t make that the only thing I say. I want her to know her actions, abilities, and contributions are noticeable and praiseworthy too. I would rather my kid spend hours writing a story or building a fairy garden in the back yard than hours in front of the mirror. You are so imaginative, inventive, detailed.

Psychologist Lisa Damour says in her book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, “Girls who can point to their meaningful contributions and burgeoning skills have reliable ways to feel good about themselves as they move into adolescence.” Tell your daughter she’s powerful, clever, determined.

3. Encourage a mindset of growth and effort.

Strong daughters aren’t born strong. Rather, they grow into that strength. We can help by tweaking our words and our focus. Praising their effort (not the outcome) can empower girls. In Damour’s book Untangled, she cites the research of psychologist Carol Dweck: “Girls with a growth mindset embrace challenges” while “girls with a fixed mindset…fear challenges.”

We can help our daughters believe that, with effort, their talents can grow by shifting our language. Be realistic but encouraging: You’re tackling this challenge like a champ. By welcoming feedback from your teacher, you’re taking steps to learn. I like how your friend Sasha inspired your drawing.

4. Eliminate “perfect” and “perfection” in everyday conversations.

My daughter showed off her cursive signature. “Perfect!” I said. I know I’ve said this word too many times. It means faultless, or free of all flaws. So, what’s she going to think when the stakes get higher? When she inevitably fails? Will she still be able to show me her work? Sometimes as moms, we feel like we have to be perfect too. But it’s totally unrealistic. I don’t want my daughter growing up expecting perfection from herself, so making an effort to pick my words carefully now will help change her thinking and the demands she places on herself years from now.

The LEGO film mentioned above “explores how the ‘pressure of perfection’ and everyday language impacts girls’ creative confidence from as young as five.” Five! Whether a girl is building a LEGO scene or fixing her own ponytail, the word “perfect” has a negative effect. Instead, use these words to encourage girls to keep at it, to work hard, and to rise above her setbacks: epic, fierce, brave, charismatic, conscientious.

5. Find new words to describe your daughter that might traditionally be used for boys.

These days, more girls are enjoying traditionally boy-focused STEM activities such as coding and robotics. Though it’s not wrong to favor more traditionally feminine activities like playing dolls or house, we can still think harder about how we describe our daughters. If you want to empower your daughter, try to think outside the box.

“Society is more likely to attribute the terms pretty, cute, and perfect to girls while the terms cool, genius, and innovative are twice as likely to be attributed to boys’ projects,” says journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace. As moms of daughters, let’s try to think about what words will build them up. Strong daughters are unafraid to go after their dreams, whatever they are. Tell yours she’s capable, goal-oriented, insightful, adventurous.

How do you empower your daughter to reach her goals?

The post 5 Ways to Tweak Your Language to Empower Your Daughter appeared first on iMOM.

My dance training didn’t go to waste, though. While you won’t find me lacing up pointe shoes to talk sports, I do bring with me three qualities I learned during those years. They’ve served me well as a woman, and I want my own daughter, Reese, to learn them, too. If you’re raising a little girl, here are 3 qualities for a daughter to teach her early and often. 

1. Be confident.

It feels really special to me to have a hand in raising a young woman. Early on in my career, I quickly learned that in many of the roles we have as women, we’re going to receive criticism. I know Reese is going to go out into the world and be met with so many challenges. That’s just life. So, it’s important to me to find ways to build her confidence, and it’s also why it’s one of the qualities for a daughter I want her to live out.

My daughter is in preschool right now. Even at such a young age, I encourage her to be as prepared as she can be for school and to be proud of her knowledge and opinions. (She’s already so great at college football picks!)  I want her to be confident in who she is and what she knows to be true about herself. So, as her little personality emerges, I make it a point to speak encouraging words to her to help her get comfortable with her personality.

2. Be humble.

Teaching my daughter to be humble isn’t just about instilling manners or politeness. It’s about nurturing a grounded perspective. In a world that often celebrates individual achievement above all else, humility reminds us that every accomplishment is a collective effort influenced by the support and contributions of other people along the way. When I started in this field, I was willing to do sports reporting jobs no one else wanted to do. It’s how I learned, but even after more than a decade in, I’m still a student of the game. And, thankfully, I work with the most amazing teammates who make me better every single day.

By embracing humility as one of the deep-rooted qualities for a daughter, we can shield our girls from entitlement and instead encourage collaboration and a growth mindset. I want Reese to learn to approach challenges with an open mind, acknowledging her strengths while remaining receptive to feedback.

3. Be graceful.

Last Christmas, I took my daughter to her first Nutcracker ballet performance. It was perfect. And I will always treasure the moment of seeing her genuine excitement for everything from the Rat King to the chicken fingers and fries we shared afterward. She saw the beautiful, orchestrated movements of professional dancers on full display.

But, as moms, we can show just as much grace in our everyday conversations and interactions with our children. One of the things that I’ve figured out is that by fully showing up every day for my family and my work and by continuing to try to handle myself with class, I can set a positive example for my daughter. As moms, our daughters watch and learn from us how to respond to others and situations with grace. It’s not about being perfectly poised all the time, either. Some of my least graceful moments happen in front of a camera (like the time I misspoke a question to Coach Nick Saban). However, when my daughter eventually watches, I want her to learn that even when she makes mistakes, she can handle herself with grace, too.

What qualities for a daughter do you hope to instill in your child?

The post Laura Rutledge: 3 “Be” Attitudes I Want My Daughter to Embrace appeared first on iMOM.

Shopping may be one of those easy picks when you’re trying to come up with fun things to do with your teenage daughter. But what else? If you have an afternoon free, here are 21 more ideas to spend some one-on-one time with your girl.

1. Find an arcade in the area and introduce her to Ms. Pac-Man and pinball.

2. Visit a flower farm and bring home a bouquet.

3. Hit up the library or a bookstore and browse the shelves together.

4. Book a photo session at a local store and get some photos taken with and without you.

5. Sit in neighboring hair stylists’ chairs and chat while you both get cuts.

6. Visit a garden center and pick out starter veggies to put in your yard.

7. Take a local college tour together.

8. Give her the keys and let her practice driving.

9. Let loose with her at a laser tag center.

10. Reserve horses for a trail ride at a nearby ranch.

11. See a movie in the theater that she wants to see.

12. Sample a fancy ice cream parlor or bakery.

13. Visit the art or science museum and have lunch at the museum’s café.

14. Bake scones or cookies or something you haven’t baked before.

15. Find a tea shop and spend time sipping together.

16. Pamper yourselves at a nail salon.

17. Be tourists in your home city. See the historical sites and learn about them.

18. Try a new adventurous sport together like paddleboarding, lake swimming, or kayaking.

19. Get your craft on! Make candles, soaps, or knotted fleece blankets. Donate or gift them.

20. Do her favorite hobby with her. Painting? Crochet? Reading? Biking? Taking photos?

21. Hit up local thrift or antique shops.

For more ideas, check out our Mother Daughter Bucket List!

What are some more fun things to do with your teenage daughter?

The post 21 Fun Things to Do With Your Teenage Daughter appeared first on iMOM.

I loved hearing how our teen handled a situation when she felt peers crossed an emotional boundary. She knew the signs and didn’t sit there silently. She spoke up for herself and protected her well-being. So, can your girl! Here are 25 things your daughter can say when she feels her boundaries crossed.  

When She Feels Uncomfortable About the Topic:

1. I don’t like talking about someone else.
2. I don’t feel comfortable sharing that information.
3. I’d like to keep that part of my life private.
4. I’d prefer to keep my thoughts about this to myself.
5. I’ve already shared what I’m comfortable sharing about that.

When She Needs Some Space to Process Her Feelings and Thoughts:

1. I need time to process my feelings before we talk about it.
2. I don’t want to go into details about this right now.
3. I’m not looking for advice or opinions. I just need someone to listen.
4. I need you to respect my boundaries and not push me to talk right now.
5. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I’d like to talk about it later.

When She Feels Herself Getting Too Upset:

1. I don’t want to argue about this. I’d like to drop it for now.
2. This conversation makes me feel anxious, and I’d rather not discuss it.
3. I care about our friendship, but I need to know my feelings are respected.
4. I feel myself getting defensive. I don’t want to say something I don’t mean.
5. I don’t like where this seems to be headed. I’d like time to calm down. 

When She Needs to Protect Personal Values and Beliefs:

1. I feel hurt when I’m pressured to conform to beliefs that don’t align with mine.
2. I feel uncomfortable when my faith is questioned aggressively.
3. I feel hurt when my values are made fun of or brushed off.
4. I want to have a conversation that focuses on understanding rather than judgment.
5. I feel supported when my faith is acknowledged, even if it’s not shared.

When She Needs to Set Expectations for Respectful Behavior:

1. I don’t feel safe when I hear that tone of voice.
2. I don’t like to be talked about that way. I feel disrespected.
3. I expect to be treated with kindness.
4. I need honesty and trust in a friendship (or relationship).
5. I expect my feelings and opinions to be acknowledged.

Boundaries Crossed? Why “I” Statements Help

Did you notice that all the statements above start with “I”? There’s a scientifically-backed reason for that! Research studies continue to find that using “I” statements increases compassion and cooperation in the other person and is less likely to stir up hostility or anger toward the person talking. 

“I” statements give your teenager a way to communicate when she feels her emotional boundaries crossed. These statements use clear and assertive language without pointing the finger of blame toward anyone, which can cause the other person to become defensive. Instead, the conversation promotes understanding. Plus, “I” statements help your teen gain valuable practice in taking responsibility for her well-being, feelings, and emotional boundaries. 

I statements give your teenager a way to communicate when she feels her emotional boundaries crossed.
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Addressing the Awkward Elephant in the Room

By the way, it’s normal for your teen to feel awkward about using “I” statements. Most adults struggle with them, too, especially during a heated conversation. Encourage her to rewrite one for each category using her own words.

When you hear her using one of the statements, even if it’s with you, acknowledge it! Tell her how proud you are to hear her share what she needs when she feels her emotional boundaries crossed. And, Mom, let her hear you doing the same! You’re still her No. 1 role model.

Where do you struggle the most in talking about your emotional boundaries?

The post 25 Things Your Daughter Can Say When a Friend Crosses a Boundary appeared first on iMOM.

I loved hearing her make it clear that someone had crossed an emotional boundary with her, except for one thing—it was me. I had stepped over that boundary, and her emotional crossing guard calmly let me know. Ouch. Learning to set emotional boundaries is important during the teen years when kids search to find their identity. Those boundaries help teens understand what is and isn’t theirs to feel or fix. Here are 6 things to teach your daughter about setting her own emotional boundaries.

1. You’re in charge of your emotions and reactions.

No one can “make” you feel or react a certain way. Your emotions are your own, and you can choose how to respond to them and express them to others. Your daughter will need time and your coaching to practice this boundary. 

Start by leading her to recognize and label her emotions and digging into why she feels them. “I feel this because of that.” Help your daughter identify emotional patterns or triggers. While external factors—such as other people or circumstances—can influence her emotions, she has the power to choose how to respond. She isn’t a puppet emotionally controlled by someone else. She holds her own strings and takes full responsibility for how she responds and expresses her emotions to others. By the way, teens with ADHD may need additional strategies to help set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.

2. You’re NOT responsible for the emotions and reactions of someone else.

Just as no one can “make” your daughter feel or react a certain way, she can’t force someone to feel or react a certain way either. Yes, she can influence another person, but she can’t control the emotions of someone else. Embracing this truth can give her confidence in respectfully expressing her own emotions without the burden of trying to control someone she can’t control. She can acknowledge someone’s response by saying something like “I can see that you’re (sad, hurt, angry, disappointed…) by what I said.” 

Leading your daughter to set this clear emotional boundary protects her mental health. Plus, believing she’s responsible for someone else’s emotions can lead to codependent relationships and can limit your daughter’s emotional expression due to concerns about how the other person might respond.  

3. You can be empathetic without taking on someone else’s emotional burdens.

Empathy is understanding how someone else is feeling. However, understanding someone else’s emotions doesn’t mean your daughter must now carry around that emotion as her own. Grasping this distinction ensures she remains compassionate while still prioritizing her emotional health. 

4. You get to decide what personal/private information you share–and with whom.

During the tween and teen years, rushing into friendships can be a common practice as kids strive for peer acceptance. However, this can lead to oversharing personal information with people without a proven track record of trustworthiness. 

Teach your daughter to move slowly into relationships to establish trust and mutual care. Not everyone will be in her inner circle of friends, nor should they be. Equip your daughter to guard her heart by not catering to the needs of others in any way that undermines her own integrity or emotional well-being.

5. You must clearly communicate your emotional boundaries.

Physical boundaries are easier to identify or explain because others can see them. If you’ve ever traveled farther than two miles with siblings sharing a back seat, then you understand. Inevitably, somebody’s body part (or breath) will cross the middle boundary marker and everybody in the car will know it! However, drawing an invisible emotional boundary needs to be clearly articulated for someone else to recognize. 

Your daughter will need to practice expressing her emotional needs and boundaries without apologizing or feeling guilty. Help her get comfortable in letting someone know when a boundary is crossed. Help her know what to say and give her practice in saying things like “I don’t feel comfortable with that” or “We need to change the subject. I don’t want to hear about that.”  

6. You can learn to recognize the signs of overstepped boundaries.

Our bodies give us clues when our boundaries are being compromised—a “weird” feeling in the gut, increased heartbeat, sweaty palms, a general feeling of discomfort, stress, or shame in a relationship. It might look and feel different for your daughter. 

Talk with your girl about the signs to look out for in friendships and dating relationships, including being verbally disrespectful toward her, discounting her feelings, or sharing personal information about her with someone else.

For advice on 7 Things a Daughter Needs From Her Father go to our fatherhood site, All Pro Dad.

Which of these truths about emotional boundaries do you struggle with the most?

The post 6 Things to Teach Your Daughter About Emotional Boundaries appeared first on iMOM.

Kids can find strength from hearing stories from their past. When your child is feeling nervous or worried about something daunting that lies ahead, pull a story from her past. Here are 3 times your child’s past experiences can be a confidence builder and give her the strength she needs in the moment.

1. When You Want to Show His Previous Triumphs Over Struggles

When we moved to a new state, my son left two really good friends behind, and the prospect of making new ones worried him. “No one talked to me at recess,” he said the first day. “Well, buddy, you may have to say hi first. But you’ve done this before.” I told him how he made friends in his old neighborhood with James and Matty. “You saw James playing with trucks and that was something you liked. So, you brought a truck over and joined him.” With Matty, I said, “I remember he was new, and you were brave and asked him to play. You made friends easily,” I told him. “I know you can do it again.”

We want to give kids encouragement and hope to do hard things. Stories about your child’s past can help with that. As Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD says in her book Kid Confidence, “Telling stories about how your child struggled and then triumphed can contribute to creating a hopeful narrative and let her see beyond the current difficult situation.” It’s a confidence builder when you remind your child that he struggled and overcame it. And he can do it again.

2. When You Want to Give Her Confidence to Get Through a New Experience

“I’ve never done anything with robots before,” my daughter said, glancing up from the screen. I’d just shown her the virtual flyer advertising a new all-girls robotics team at her school. “Yes, but you love LEGOs,” I said. “And robotics is kind of like that.” I reminded her that building her first LEGO set took time because it was something new to her. But she’d studied the directions and restarted when she found a mistake. She’d figured it out.

Giving your child that type of reminder can help with new experiences. She’s done something hard in the past, enjoyed it, and succeeded. Trying something new, whether it’s theater, sports, or even a class elective, can feel daunting. But you can be a confidence builder for your child if you remind her of skills she’s used in the past and how she can apply them to this new experience in the present.

3. When You Want to Evoke Pride in His Accomplishments

As we left the pool after the swim meet, I said to my son, “I remember when you first tried to dive off the starting block. You were afraid to lead with your head. But you kept practicing and listening to your coaches, and now, you dive with no problem. You’ve really come a long way!” He beamed at me, and I knew he appreciated hearing this story.

As Kennedy-Moore says, “Don’t save these stories only for when your child is feeling sad and discouraged.” Using them when a relevant topic comes up “can help your child experience authentic pride.” These stories can serve as another way to build him up and reassure him that he already has big accomplishments under his belt.

If your child has a goal in mind, print out iMOM’s Progress Roadmap to plan the journey!

In what areas of his life can you be a confidence builder for your child?

The post 3 Times Your Child’s Past Can Build Her Present appeared first on iMOM.

Inner strength gives us confidence in ourselves and courage to persevere when we want to give up. Because the mother-daughter relationship is so important, we play an integral role in building our girls up. Here are 5 ways you can build your daughter’s inner strength.

1. Help her to find and grow her interests.

Inner strength is like soup. It’s made with a bunch of ingredients stirred together. To cook some inner strength in your child, help her find and then develop her interests. If she likes to paint, sew, or play basketball, encourage it. Then get excited with her. When you show interest in your daughter’s hobby, she’s going to have the desire to keep at it. Give her time to develop her skills because that’s when confidence, courage, and perseverance start to simmer.

2. Encourage independence.

When my daughter was younger, I liked watching her dance classes and volunteering for lunch duty at her school. But as she’s gotten older, I’ve tried to give her more space to do things without me. It’s good for her. It sends the message that I believe she can handle herself without me.

When our daughters try new experiences without us, they develop more courage and confidence. This will then feed their inner strength. So, for her sake, give your child opportunities to do things without you around—even if it’s something at home like practicing the piano or doing her homework.

3. Expose her to new experiences.

“I’m gonna sign you up for the girls’ coding class at the library,” I told my daughter a few years ago. She went, liked it, and later joined her school’s robotics team.

You never know what’s going to stick with kids. It takes bravery to try something new, and if she’s willing to, say, take pickleball lessons or go ice skating for the first time, praise her for her can-do mindset. She’s going to develop willpower and resilience by courageously stepping into something new. If she enjoys it and walks away with a positive experience, it’ll add to your daughter’s inner strength.

4. Empathize, listen, and connect with her.

I had some pretty crooked teeth as a kid and got teased a bit. I always went to my mom for support and to cry in her arms. My mom’s love and empathy helped me through those and many other tough times growing up. Columbia University’s Health Library states that “the single most important thing that gives children inner strength is having parents or other adults who are positive and nurturing.”

Spending time with your child, being there for her when she struggles, and validating her concerns all contribute to building her resilience. Help prepare your daughter for the future by making time for her now and validating her feelings when she’s struggling.

5. Build a positive inner voice.

My daughter and I drove to the pool one morning. She had practice, and I planned to swim laps. The problem? It was 7 a.m. and 65 degrees out. “We’re strong and tough and capable,” I chanted as we neared the park. I said it as much for my benefit as hers. But the thing is, what we say matters. If I tell my daughter she’s strong, she’s going to start telling herself she’s strong too. Columbia University says, “Parents have the greatest influence on a child’s belief about himself or herself.”

So, to build her inner strength and filter out any harsh self-criticism, help build her inner voice by voicing the truth. Point out what took courage and strength. “Hey, you were brave trying out for the play.” Tell her she’s done well, she’s important to you, and her opinions matter. Soon, your words will become the voice she hears even when you’re not around.

For advice on 7 Things a Daughter Needs From Her Father go to our fatherhood site, All Pro Dad.

Why do you think kids need inner strength?

The post 5 Ways to Boost Girls’ Inner Strength appeared first on iMOM.

But we can help our daughters regain that assurance because of our vital role in their lives. What we say matters. Instead of stepping back during the teen years, use your words to speak encouragement and confidence into your daughter’s ear. There are 15 messages all girls should receive from their moms. Here’s how to encourage your teenage daughter.

1. Speak up for yourself.

My daughter needs to know that life isn’t always fair. But if she feels wronged, I don’t want her to be afraid to defend herself.

2. Being popular doesn’t make someone automatically happy.

Happiness comes more from building self-esteem, working to achieve personal goals, and having gratitude for what you have.

3. Some people have issues we don’t know about, so give them grace.

I’ve told my daughter that another kid’s rudeness doesn’t mean it’s personal. Everyone’s working on something in their lives. Sometimes, other kids are struggling more than we realize.

4. You be you.

My daughter has no plans to get her ears pierced, and that’s fine by me. Support your daughter in her choices, and you’ll see she grows more confident knowing her mom loves her just the way she is.

5. Don’t let others discourage you from following your passion and dreams.

That includes you, Mom! Let’s let our daughters take the lead with their dreams and support them even if they’re different from our dreams for them.

6. If you’re having fun, keep doing what you’re doing, even if you’re bad at it.

Whether it’s singing, dancing, acting, or something else, encourage your teenage daughter to do what brings her joy.

7. Don’t feel pressured into doing something.

Gossiping. Drinking. Texting test answers. Ditching class. Posting inappropriate pics on Insta. Wearing a crop top. Let’s encourage our daughters to walk away from those who pressure her.

8. Have your own opinion—and don’t be afraid to voice it.

Give your daughter chances to voice her opinion at home so she gains confidence expressing her thoughts in the classroom and in her social circle.

9. Stand up for others when you see them treated poorly.

When my daughter told me she stood up to a boy at swim practice for picking on another kid, it was sweet music to my ears. Grow your daughter’s confidence by giving her opportunities to do things on her own so when the time comes, she’ll have the courage to go out on a limb for another who needs it.

10. You don’t have to be perfect.

I want my daughter to know that perfection isn’t attainable. Despite what she might see or read on social media, no one’s perfect. If she works hard in school and makes healthy choices, she’s going to be on the right track. If you’re wondering how to encourage your teenage daughter in day-to-day life, try pointing out your own imperfections.

11. It’s OK to be alone.

Even though it can be hard, being alone can play a big role in building personal character and figuring out who you are. And just because she’s still looking for new friends, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with her.

12. Safety is your top priority.

If my daughter gets into a situation where she doesn’t feel safe, I want her to know that she shouldn’t worry about offending other people if she needs to leave.

13. Saying no isn’t mean. It’s being assertive.

Whether it’s saying no to vaping, to sexual pressure, or to a peer who wants to copy her homework, I want my daughter to be able to say no. I want her to prioritize the right thing, the safe thing, and the healthy thing over everything else.

14. I love you no matter what.

So, the teenage years are going to test me. It’s what everyone says, and I’ve gotten a taste already. But I want my daughter to know that through the ups and downs of adolescence, there’s nothing she can say to me that’ll change how much I love her. It’s important for our daughters to know this.

15. Give your worries to God.

Pray every day. Through some rough times in high school, I remember how my mom prayed with me. All kids will have challenging days, and if you want to encourage your teenage daughter, you might consider teaching her how to pray if you haven’t already. Somehow, the burden feels lighter when I give my worries to God. I’m going to guide my daughter to do the same.

For advice on 7 Things a Daughter Needs From Her Father go to our fatherhood site, All Pro Dad.

If you want to know how to encourage your teenage daughter, you might try asking her. What did she say?

The post 15 Messages Moms Should Give Teen Daughters appeared first on iMOM.

But now, years later, I have a 12-year-old niece who is a tough cookie and bursting with confidence. I owe my sister an apology. The fact that I struggled to come up with kind words that were not related to my niece’s appearance should’ve been a clue that there’s a problem facing our girls. So next time you see your daughter, niece, or little girl from the house next door, instead of complimenting her appearance, try one of these 25 compliments for girls that aren’t based on looks.

Character-Based Compliments to Give Your Daughter

I’m proud of how _____ you are.

I love how you stick up for other kids.

I bet it was hard to control your temper just then. Good job.

You’re such a hard worker.

What you did took courage. Way to go.

That took patience. I’m impressed!

You never give up.

The effort you put in really shows.

Personality-Based Compliments to Give Your Daughter

You’re a lot of fun to be around.

You have great taste in ______.

You make _____ look effortless.

Your mind works in a unique way.

You tell the best stories.

You’re so good with animals.

I love how curious you are. That’s the best way to learn.

Your style is unique and inspiring.

You crack me up.

Feel-Good Compliments to Give Your Daughter

There’s no one in the world like you.

Your friends are lucky to have you.

God made you perfectly.

There’s something special about you.

You mean so much to me.

My life is better because you’re in it.

I’ve learned so much from you.

The world needs more girls like you.

What other compliments can we give our girls that aren’t based on appearance?

The post 25 Compliments to Give Your Daughter That Aren’t Based on Looks appeared first on iMOM.