I’m not gonna lie. Visiting colleges can be stressful for everyone for many reasons. And checking out schools looks way different now than back in the day. However, one thing hasn’t changed: Your teen still needs your guidance and support. It just might look different than expected. Follow these 5 field-tested methods to make the most of visiting colleges (while empowering your teen along the way!).

1. Let her take the lead.

Leave your keys to the helicopter at home. Or better yet, pass them to your teen and let her fly. It’s what you really want her to be able to do in college anyway, right? Taking a step back now and letting your teen lead the process of visiting colleges motivates her to take ownership of figuring out her next steps after high school. Plus, you encourage her to become self-sufficient, informed, and confident in her choices all while still under your watchful eye.

Questions to talk about together: Do you want a small school or a big school? One close by or farther away? How far away is too far? How close is too close? What majors spark an interest? Do you want to play sports, go through rush, or be involved in other ways? What about the area around the school? Does it matter if it’s in a city, small town, or near specific industries?

2. Set expectations and goals for visiting a school.

Your teen might not want an official guided tour, but you do. You might already have a list of financial questions you want answered. But, instead of the numbers associated with tuition, your teen might care more about the number of students sharing a bathroom in the dorms. Maybe your teen wants to catch a glimpse of the stadium and the engineering school whereas you want to grab a meal from that little place your friends discovered on their kid’s college tour.

Questions to talk about together: What’s important for you to learn or see about this school? What about the town or city? What do you hope to learn by visiting? What is a must-do or must-see for you? What do you not care about when checking out a school? Do you want to set up a meeting with the chair of a department of interest?

3. Encourage exploration and reflection.

By visiting colleges, your teen will encounter lists of majors and career paths she’s not been exposed to before. That’s a great thing because most teenagers don’t really know what they want to do after high school. “This is the first adult decision of your children’s lives,” says Keith Moon, associate dean of Harvard’s Summer School Program. “It’s important to empower your child to make the decision that’s best for them.” So, after visiting colleges, coach her to assess what she saw, learned, and felt while at each school.

Questions to talk about together: What surprised you about the school? Do any of the majors at this school sound interesting? Which ones? Could you see yourself at this school? Did anything give off a red flag vibe? What kind of lifestyle do you want after college? Would this school help or hinder that lifestyle? Do you want to keep this school on the list?

4. Support your teen’s decision-making process.

With her still-developing brain, your child needs your coaching on how to make such a significant and complex decision. So, help her figure out how to think through and compare her various options. Your child might want to draft pro/con lists for each school, talk with alums or current students, and even pray about the decision. Teach her to trust her own voice and internal “gut.” And, Mom, when your teen pushes back about talking college stuff (which she will!), work on some of these ideas to get her talking.

Questions to talk about together: How can I best support you? How will you evaluate each school? Would you like my opinion or thoughts? Would it help if I put together something that shows you the cost differences between schools?

5. Celebrate the steps.

On social media, visiting colleges looks like so much fun. And it is! But, it can also be fraught with tension and arguments. It’s essential to pause and take in this milestone. So grab a cup of coffee on campus. Take a photo at the entrance. And, of course, create a college road trip playlist with your favorite tunes.

When thinking about visiting colleges with your teen, what worries you the most?

The post 5 College Touring Tips to Empower Your Teen appeared first on iMOM.

But, after traveling for work, it’s the food I cook for (and eat with) my family that brings me the most joy. As moms, we’re always busy, which is why I like to prepare simple and quick recipes for my family.  Try these 4 easy meals for families on the go and see if your family loves them as much as mine.

1. Spaghetti Squash Parmesan 

 

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I modified this recipe based on one I tried from Lidey Heuck, and it never disappoints. If the thought of cooking spaghetti squash sounds like too much to handle, take a look at why it really is one of those easy meals for families on the go. You’ll see Josh helps me a little by cutting the squash. So, invite your husband to cook with you.

Ingredients:

• 1 large spaghetti squash
• Olive oil
• Salt
• Pepper
• 1 package of ground beef (or chicken, turkey, or meatless alternative)
• ¼ tablespoon dried oregano
• 1 cup marinara sauce
• 1 cup grated parmesan
• Sliced mozzarella
• Fresh parsley or basil

What you do:

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
2. Cut spaghetti squash in half lengthwise.
3. Coat both halves in olive oil.
4. Add salt and pepper to taste.
5. Place squash halves face down on a baking sheet.
6. Bake for about 25 to 30 minutes.
7. Brown the ground beef and season with oregano.
8. After removing the baked spaghetti squash from the oven, lower the temperature to 350 degrees.
9. Shred the baked squash and drain off any excess water.
10. In a large bowl, mix together the squash, cooked ground beef, marinara sauce, and parmesan.
11. Add the mixture back into the spaghetti squash shells.
12. Top with sliced mozzarella and bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.
13. Before serving, add fresh parsley or basil.

2. Crockpot Salsa Chicken

With two small children, I’ve been known to cook with one hand while holding a baby on my hip. Moms develop this skill out of necessity. Maybe that’s why I love this recipe so much. It’s not only the easiest, most flavorful crockpot chicken dish ever, you can literally do it with one hand.

Ingredients:

• 1 pound of boneless, skinless chicken thighs
• 1 cup salsa (red or green)

What you do:

1. Turn your crockpot on low.
2. Put the chicken thighs in the crockpot.
3. Pour the salsa over the chicken.
4. Cover and cook for 5-6 hours.
5. Shred and use for tacos, nachos, or even over salad.

3. Keto “Lasagna” 

If given the choice, my husband, Josh, would eat this every week. It’s insanely good and healthier than regular lasagna. And while I didn’t include my preschooler, Reese, the first time I posted the video recipe, it’s a dish your young child can easily help you make.

Ingredients:

• Italian sausage
• 2-pound bag of uncooked broccoli florets
• 16 oz cream cheese, melted
• 24 oz marinara sauce
• 1 bag mozzarella cheese (2 cups)
• ½ cup shredded parmesan

What you do:

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
2. On medium-high heat, crumble and fully cook the sausage in a skillet.
3. Place the broccoli florets on a baking sheet and bake for about 20 minutes.
4. Remove cooked broccoli from the oven and lower the temperature to 350 degrees.
5. Place broccoli in a 9-by-13-inch rectangular casserole dish.
6. Add the cooked sausage on top of the broccoli.
7. Spread the melted cream cheese on top of the sausage.
8. Add the marinara sauce as the next layer.
9. Top with mozzarella cheese and shredded parmesan.
10. Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

4. Mac and Cheese Bites

These bites might not count as a full meal by themselves. But adding a side of fruit makes them a favorite for little kids, including mine, and is definitely one of those easy meals for families on the go.

Ingredients:

• Boxed macaroni and cheese (plus ingredients needed)
• ½ cup ham, chopped

What you do:

1. Prepare macaroni and cheese according to the instructions on the box.
2. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
3. Add chopped ham to the prepared macaroni and cheese.
4. Spoon the mixture into a greased muffin tin. Fill each space to the top.
5. Bake for 35 minutes or until the top is brown and crispy.
6. Serve after cooling.

What are some of your favorite easy meals for families on the go?

The post Laura Rutledge: 4 Quick and Easy Meals for an On-the-Go Family appeared first on iMOM.

Worry can stop our kids in their tracks: from trying new things, from going to school, and from doing things without us. Kids who have anxiety may become irritable or fidgety, have negative thinking, be overly self-conscious, clingy, or experience stomach pain and headaches, says parenting expert Tanith Carey. Anxiety can also lead to trouble sleeping. But we can make some powerful moves to help. Here are 7 ways to soothe a child’s nighttime anxiety.

1. Provide time earlier in the day to talk about it.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked. “You have 15 minutes to give me all your worries.” If my kid’s going through a rough patch, he needs that space to talk, so his worries won’t threaten his sleep at night. We’ll either walk the dog or play some ping-pong and during that time, he knows he has my ear. It’s funny because his worries never seem as bad earlier in the day. But by giving him this opportunity, he’s better able to fall asleep later on and avoid nighttime anxiety.

2. Tell her you’ll talk about it with her tomorrow and focus on gratitude instead.

Bedtime isn’t the time for your child to go through all her worries. Plus, everything looks worse at night—and tends to look better in the morning. So don’t allow your child to go down that rabbit hole. Instead, ask, “What are you grateful for today? Give me two things.” Research in the National Library of Medicine finds gratitude and positive thinking are linked to better sleep.

3. Have him place it in your hands.

This worked when my child was younger, but I still offer my teen the chance to hand me his worries. Obviously, you can’t see worries, but I cup my hands and he goes through the motions of placing them inside. He’s told me, “It’s not gonna work,” but I tell you it does. When I’ve done this for him, I listen later for restless movement or footsteps to the bathroom and hear only silence. Similarly, God wants us to give our worries to Him. Talk to your child about this, and then say a prayer for peace.

4. Encourage your child to write down his worries.

If your child has a lot running through his head, it might help to get it out on paper. “If a person’s nighttime anxiety stems from worrying about tasks they must complete in the future, research suggests that writing before bed may help,” says the Sleep Foundation. My kid has written down reminders like “pack charging cord” and “talk to [math teacher] about question #13.”

5. Validate her, and let her know it’s normal.

When worries crop up at night and a child starts to overthink, her nighttime anxiety could keep her up. Let your child know it’s OK to feel how she feels. Kids “often think there’s something wrong if they are stressed,” says Carey. “Explain that worry is a normal part of being human, and it motivates us to act.” This reassurance could lower her stress level.

6. Make sure he gets enough physical activity during the day.

An increased heart rate, headaches, stomachaches, dizziness, sweating, and restlessness are all symptoms of nighttime anxiety and can keep a child awake at night. And it’s really concerning to see your kid going through it. To help ease his mind, encourage him to be active during the day. The Sleep Foundation says regular exercise can reduce anxiety and improve sleep.

7. If you have something on your mind that could be stressful for your child, save it.

I’ve been guilty of bringing up topics at night that make my kid worry—and it’s typically because I’m worried about them. Have you picked a topic for your paper? Who’s in your group for the field trip? Are you going to check out that new club? If your child’s prone to worrying, save your questions for the morning. Putting your stress on them to ruminate about at night will only keep them up.

What are some tips you have to share with our community about handling nighttime anxiety?

The post 7 Ways You Can Soothe Your Child’s Nighttime Anxiety appeared first on iMOM.

For many moms, “it’s complicated” sums up how we feel about traveling for our jobs. It’s why in addition to packing our laptops and work clothes, we might also bring along the guilt of leaving our kids. I even stow away those anxious “what if” thoughts to chew on like Nerds Gummy Clusters (which I also throw in my travel bag). If you want to stop carrying all that extra baggage on business trips, follow these 5 tips for working moms to make your work trip easier.

1. Let your child know you’ll be gone.

As a 2-year-old, my daughter started to get into watching NFL games and making her own weekly picks, just like we do on ESPN. So, from a young age, Reese knew that Mommy travels for work to talk about football. However, before leaving town, I still make sure she knows when I’m going, where I will be headed, and when I’m coming home. Right now, my son, Jack, is too young to understand, but I tell him, too. It helps make my leaving a little bit easier because it’s not a surprise for the kids.

Talking with your kids about your work trip gives them a heads-up about a change to the family routine. For example, on a typical day, I make Reese breakfast and take her to school. When I travel for work, that changes for her. Preparing kids ahead of time helps make the transition smoother for everyone. Try writing your trip down on a printable calendar to give your child a visual. (Try this Good Character Traits for Kids version.)

2. Leave a little note for each day you’re gone.

Each day I’m gone, I leave a little note (like these) or a small gift for my kids. It’s a small way to show them I’m thinking about them that day. And, since my daughter is a little older, she hypes up the notes to Jack. In the morning, she’ll say something like, “Baby, I wonder what Momma left for us today! Let’s go see!” It gives them something fun to look forward to and helps them pass the days quickly.

As a working mom, the demands of travel can be tough, but these small gestures create a heart connection across the miles. Whether it’s a simple “I love you” or a funny joke, each note serves as a daily reminder of your presence and love. These little surprises will bring a smile to your child’s face and offer a sense of consistency and comfort in your absence.

3. Stay connected while you’re away.

The best tips for working moms are the simplest ones, and this one is a no-brainer. Phone calls, video calls, or even swapping emojis or silly videos via text lets your child know you’re thinking about her. Consider setting a time each day for a call and making it special for each child. For example, you might read a bedtime story or sing a lullaby as part of the call, or maybe your child wants a virtual tour of your hotel room while telling you a joke he heard from Dad.

But sometimes, that call can end in unexpected tears because your child misses you. In those moments, instill confidence in your child. Remind her that she’s safe and loved and that you’ll be home soon.

4. Encourage your husband. 

I could not do what I do without my husband, Josh. His love for our family and support of my career keep me going. But I know traveling for work can be hard on all families, including my own. Routines get disrupted, responsibilities get shifted, and home life runs differently when Mom is on the road.

It’s why I think one of the best tips for working moms focuses on the dads. Let your husband know how much you appreciate the extra load he carries in your absence. Send him a quick text, leave him a voicemail, or even plan a special date for when you come back home. Parenting on your own takes a toll, and your intentional encouragement shows your husband that you value him.

5. Give yourself some grace. 

As moms, we hear a lot about what motherhood is supposed to look like and how we’re supposed to do it. Thankfully, one of the things I learned in my job is to block out the noise. Still, whether you travel all the time like me or just periodically, it’s hard not to get wrapped up in the fact that you feel like you’re not there enough or that you’re missing moments with your kids. But, Mom, the work you’re doing is important, too, so give yourself some grace and space to excel at work and as a mom.

When you find yourself having a tough day being away for work, remind yourself that the work you do matters. You’ve got talents, expertise, and experiences your colleagues depend on. Plus, you’re modeling for your child time management, purpose, and a healthy work ethic. And it’s cool to have your kids really proud of something that you’re doing, too.

What are some of your favorite tips for working moms you love to share with your friends?

The post Laura Rutledge: 5 of My Best Tips for Working Moms Who Travel appeared first on iMOM.

Moms are typically the ones who notice a messy house—toothpaste globs in the sink, socks on the floor—and get frustrated that they have to be the chore czar. But if you want your kids to notice what needs to be done and become adults who understand that maintaining a house is everyone’s responsibility (praise hands emoji!), there are 5 small things to try.

1. Talk about the big picture.

I love a clean house and the ahhh feeling I get when my kitchen counter is clear of clutter. But I understand that not everyone gets that same feeling (especially kids), and that’s OK. So when my kids do something without being told, I try to remember to tell them how much it helps me. “When you noticed your papers were spread over the counter and then put them in your backpack, it took a weight off of me.”

It’s worth the effort to teach your kids how to help keep a house clean or tidy because it’s a practical example of what it means to be part of a family. Family members serve and support one another. They see each other’s needs and step in to help. It also shows our sons that it’s not a mom’s job to do everything. That’s a message they’ll carry into future relationships—a win far greater than a clean house.

2. Teach your kids to “notice and do.”

Instagram influencer Sam Kelly coined this phrase and uses the concept to help her kids learn how to participate in carrying the load of family life. That sounds like a tall order, and it doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s possible.

She teaches “notice and do” by first talking about what their family’s standard is. Then she breaks it down into smaller steps by pointing out how to notice a messy house. For example, you could explain, “Our standard is that shoes go in the bin in the laundry room. When you walk by a room, look to see if there are any shoes on the floor. If there are, pick them up and take them to the bin.” This takes reiteration and patience!

3. Use the two-minutes-just-do-it rule

My husband has a personal rule that I’m trying to extend to the rest of the family. He says if he sees a task that can be done in two minutes or less, he’ll do it right then instead of waiting. He does tiny things like putting a few dishes in the dishwasher or throwing away the empty toilet paper roll sitting on the tank.

Teach your kids to combine this two-minute rule with “notice and do.” This requires a lot of coaching at first and cheering when the task is done. “Way to grab those books that’ve been in the car and put them back on your shelf. That was easy wasn’t it?”

4. Put tools within reach and teach them how to do the chore.

“I taught you how to clean the toilet! Why does it look like it hasn’t been cleaned in a month?” I shouted to my sons. My older son/spokesperson replied, “We don’t know where the brush is.” It was an excuse, but I understood. I invested $7 to buy a second brush and stored it behind the toilet in their bathroom. Having the brush in view created a handy reminder that they need to chip in.

The teaching part is important, too. Don’t assume they know how to do a chore. You might be surprised by the initiative your kids take when you teach them a new skill. Kids who feel empowered often like to show off what they can do.

5. Let them practice thinking for themselves.

If you want your kids to see the messy house and chip in, they need to learn to observe and analyze instead of just ask Mom for an answer. Again, this takes time and persistence.

When you say, “The garbage man comes tomorrow” and your son replies, “Does that mean I have to take the can to the curb?” try replying, “Good question. If you don’t take it, will it be overfull by next week?” Sam Kelly explains that instead of immediately answering your child’s question about household tasks, use their questions as a teaching moment and show them how to answer these questions for themselves.

What chore do your kids enjoy doing? Why do you think they like it?

The post 5 Eye-Openers When No One Else in Your House Sees the Mess appeared first on iMOM.

Maybe you’re not trying to have another baby, but you and your husband are in a dry spell caused by your kids’ need for attention or insatiable nosiness. A weekend away is great, but how often can you really do that? When you have no time for sex (and no privacy), it’s time to get creative with these 5 ways to sneak in alone time with your husband.

1. Tell the kids you need privacy to plan a surprise.

This works for a friend of mine. She and her husband tell their three kids, “Mommy and Daddy have an idea for something fun we can do as a family, but we need time to plan it.” They’ve already made that plan (go see a movie, get ice cream at the new shop), and they use the “meeting time” more wisely. They even tell the kids that interruptions or eavesdropping mean they call off the surprise.

2. Become lunchtime lovers.

Who says a date can’t happen at noon? If you or your husband have the flexibility to work from home or come home in the middle of the day, schedule a “business lunch.” The house will be quiet, and you’ll probably both go back to work with a better attitude.

3. Take a nap (or don’t).

For some parents, the problem isn’t that they have no time for sex—it’s that they have no energy. You can take one of two approaches to utilizing naptime for sex.

Option one: Instead of looking at your kids’ Saturday afternoon nap as a chance for you and your husband to get 30 minutes alone, take a power nap or close your eyes and take deep breaths to recharge. Option two: If you’re not a napper because you can’t slow your mind, and all you do is count the minutes until you have to wake up (or is that just me?), crank up the white noise machine, and lock your door. You might not have time for a full rendezvous, but it could be enough to reignite the flame.

4. Strategize with your sitter.

Planning an actual date night? If you have young kids, agree with your sitter that you’re staying out until the kids are asleep. She can give you the all-clear so romance doesn’t have to hit the brakes when you pull in the driveway.

If you have kids who, by sheer willpower, stay awake until they’re properly tucked in and smooched by you, all hope is not lost. Before you leave to go out, ask the sitter to take them for ice cream while you and your husband “get ready.” By the way, don’t tell your sitter why you’re doing these things. That would be weird.

5. Think outside the bedroom.

If you have older kids and that awkward “I know they know what we’re doing” feeling is making it hard to focus, a change of scenery could be your best bet. A friend has told me that she and her husband sneak off to the laundry room on occasion because their bedroom shares a wall with the kids’ bedroom. I don’t know about you, but my kids stay far away from the laundry room, so that sounds like an ideal spot! Maybe in your house it’s the walk-in-closet or basement. Love knows no bounds!

If none of these ideas would work for you, remember this…

If you have no time for sex and no privacy, remember that your kids knowing that you and your husband love each other and desire one another isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a wonderful thing because it will give them a sense of security. So don’t freak out if you get walked in on, or your older kids give you the side-eye at breakfast. Your kids and your marriage are going to be just fine.

Got any creative ideas to sneak in time with your husband when the kids are always around?

The post 5 Ways to Sneak in Sex When the Kids Are Always Around appeared first on iMOM.

Are you a silver-lining kind of person? Do you want your kids to be? Teaching kids to be positive is something we all have to do. Here are 4 ways to help them look on the bright side.

1. Show her how to tweak her language.

Words are powerful, and I tell my kids all the time that how we speak to ourselves shapes our attitudes and outlook in life. If my kid says “I have to go to practice tonight” or “I have to call Samantha and talk about the assignment,” I’m encouraging her to change “have to” to “get to.” Getting to practice soccer means she’s healthy and able. Getting to call Samantha means she has a friend to talk to for a few minutes.

It’s a subtle shift, but focusing on the positive side of a situation can make something boring look like a blessing.

2. Teach him to go easier on himself.

“Hey, buddy. You’ve got an incredible drive, and tons of motivation, but let’s take a break and come back to this later.” He wanted to stay up and finish his homework, but at this hour, I knew he’d have a hard time focusing. Maybe your child’s out shooting baskets and getting down on himself for missing too many. Or maybe he’s working on a LEGO set but is getting frustrated because he keeps making mistakes. Teaching kids to be positive about what they’ve accomplished, instead of getting hung up on their failures can be challenging.

Teaching kids self-compassion and encouraging them to go easier on themselves can lead “to a lower risk for mental or physical health issues and to better odds of a longer life,” says Harvard Health Publishing. High standards are great, but the older kids get, the more important it’s going to be to be able to say “I did what I could here. Now I need to take care of myself.” That’s looking on the bright side.

3. Encourage a gratitude mindset.

My friend’s daughter is stressed about friendships. They’ve been shifting throughout the year, and she’s not sure who her “real” friends are anymore. We know kids face multiple sources of stress from where to sit at lunch to getting good grades, but pausing for a moment in gratitude for something—even if it’s minor—can provide the mental flip your kid needs to carry on through her day.

Feeling glad that you don’t need to wear a jacket to school, for example is a little thing to be grateful for. “Gratitude helps to reduce stress and anxiety by shifting our focus from negative thoughts to positive ones,” says Health Assured. It doesn’t take much to notice the good things in life or to thank God for little blessings. But it can positively impact your kid’s attitude—and it can grow with practice.

4. Help her make the most of what comes her way.

Star, my friend’s daughter, didn’t get hired for the part-time babysitting job she wanted last summer. But with her mom’s help, Star realized she had time to take driver’s ed classes instead. Because she’s only 14, she hadn’t even thought about learning to drive. But now she seized the opportunity.

Teaching kids to be positive and to find the joy in a bad or disappointing situation isn’t easy, but it’s a skill that’ll help them rebound quicker. And making the most of any situation simply hinges on a willingness to try.

Looking on the bright side can take some training. How are you teaching kids to be positive in your family?

The post 4 Ways to Teach Kids to Look on the Bright Side appeared first on iMOM.

I’m not a fan of bugs, but during the preschool years, I was a fan of simple, themed playdate ideas, even if they involved little creatures with tiny legs. (And I’m not talking about my 2-year-old. ) Playdates don’t need to be complicated to be memorable. Your home most likely already includes the elements for an elevated playdate. Find inspiration with these 19 playdate ideas for toddlers and preschoolers.

Indoor Playdate Ideas

1. Box ‘Em In – Save up your delivery boxes for this one! Provide cardboard boxes, tubes, and other recyclable materials for kids to build their own forts, castles, or spaceships.

2. Summer Camp – It’s always warm and dry inside! So, pitch a tent indoors and toss in flashlights, cozy blankets, and stuffed animals. Serve oven-baked s’mores for a snack.

3. Under Construction  – Blocks, LEGOs, Lincoln Logs. Bring all the building toys out and let the kids build something together or create structures independently.

4. At the Movies – This is one of the easiest playdate ideas to pull off. Invite your child’s friends over to watch a favorite movie. Pop the corn and offer candy just like at the theater. Invite kids to dress like one of the characters or bring along a stuffed animal to watch, too.

Messy (Controlled) Mayhem

5. Rollin’ With My Lil Homies – Roll out butcher paper over a plastic tablecloth. Add globs of washable paint in different colors and put cars and other small toys on the paper. Then let the kids play in the paint with the toys. These other art activities would be fun playdate ideas, too!

6. Moldable Masterpieces – Set out various colors, along with rolling pins and cookie cutters. Let kids create works of art.

7. Contained Excitement – Add potting soil to several large plastic containers with lids. Add toy dinosaurs, action figures, shovels, cups, etc.

8. You’ve Been Slimed. – Provide ingredients for making slime. Unlike some of the other playdate ideas, little ones might need extra supervision for this one.

Pretend Play Ideas

9. It’s Coronation Day! – Or is it the Queen’s Ball? Either way, pull out the fancy costumes and crowns because everyone will need to dress the part.

10. Ahoy, There Cowboy! – Rope in your little ones to play cowboys or pirates (or both!). Set out eye patches, cowboy hats, and red bandanas. No costumes? No problem. Action figures or playsets work just as well, too. Serve up a pirate snack or one of these other cool snacks for kids, too.

11. What’s Up, Doc? – Open a vet clinic for the morning. Invite all children to bring a stuffed animal that doesn’t feel well. Then provide bandages and a toy doctor or vet kit for the little veterinarians.

12. 3-2-1 Blastoff – Nope. That’s not a blanket fort in the den. It’s a rocket ship headed to Mars. Or wait. It’s a supersonic jet just for superheroes flying in to save the day!

Backyard Playdate Ideas

13. Dinosaur Dig – Bury toy dinosaurs in a sandbox or in the yard and let the kids excavate them using toy shovels and paint brushes.

14. Toddler Pool Party – Your child and his friends will love a kiddie pool full of bath toys, bubbles, and each other. Throw in a hula hoop and see if they can make giant bubbles! This playdate will need extra adult supervision because of the water involved.

15. Outdoor Restaurant – Bring out the toy kitchen cookware or use disposable plates, bowls, and utensils, and invite the kids to make mudpies, grass salads, or some other pretend meal based on what they find in nature.

16. Rock On – Send kids on a backyard rock hunt. Give each child a bucket for all the rock treasures they find. Extend the playdate by painting some of the rocks found.

On the Driveway

17. Chalk the Course – Grab sidewalk chalk. Then, on your driveway, draw curvy roads, loop-de-loop roads, or straight paths to the mountains (or beach)! Then dump out the toy cars and let the kids drive around.

18. Cone-y Island – Pull out the little orange cones and create a driving course for those tricycles, scooters, or Big Wheels. Use chalk to make a few parking spots and destinations, such as the playground, a fast food restaurant, or an amusement park.

19. Portrait Mode – Invite each child to lie down on their backs so moms can use chalk to trace the outline of their bodies. Then, pass the chalk to the kids and let them color in the details.

What are your favorite playdate ideas that your kids love?

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That I-can-do-it attitude has an official name: self-efficacy. It’s a belief that you’re capable of succeeding. Children with high self-efficacy are more likely to tackle challenges. They see difficulties as obstacles to overcome, not walls to stop them, and it empowers them to become independent learners and problem-solvers. Ready to build it in your child? Try these 4 ideas that will help grow an I-can-do-it-attitude.  

1. Give her an opportunity for a mastery experience.

When my husband was a church youth minister and on a retreat in the mountains, he showed the teens where they’d be gathering one night for a fireside session. As he pointed to the top of a steep hill, a couple of perceptive teens pointed out that there was no seating or fire pit. He explained, “You guys are building the benches and the pit.” Several hours, splinters, and beads of sweat later, they’d created a space where they could gather and an experience none of them would ever forget.

You might not be able to send your kid up a mountain to build a fire, but mastery experiences show your child he can muster what it takes to succeed. They are the most influential source of self-efficacy according to psychologist Albert Bandura who introduced the concept back in the 1970s. A mastery experience for a 4-year-old might be building a skyscraper with blocks or buttoning up his shirt. For a 12-year-old, maybe it’s mowing the lawn without any help from Dad or learning to play a song on the piano.   

2. Show him other people succeeding.

If you’ve ever signed up for a workout program after seeing before-and-after pics, you know how seeing others achieve can help build an I-can-do-it attitude in yourself. Bandura called this a vicarious experience or social role model.

My friend’s son Max loves basketball but is… vertically challenged. Max’s dad showed him videos of NBA’s Spudd Webb winning the 1986 slam dunk contest at just five foot seven. Watching this guy fly made Max believe he could, too, and he tried out for (and made) his high school team.   

3. Speak words of encouragement.

“You have what it takes.” My friend Megan’s husband says that to their 4-year-old son every night at tuck-in. She beamed with pride when she overheard her little guy talking to himself while putting together a LEGO set: “I have what it takes!” Yes. You or another adult mentor telling your child he’s capable can actually convince him he is!

The key to the success of “persuasive words,” as Bandura calls them, is to create an environment that supports your child as she tries to achieve. Just saying that “you can do it” and walking away can lead to failure and make your child doubt your words in the future. So if your middle schooler is trying to ace her Spanish test, couple your persuasive words with an offer to run through flash cards. You’re giving her a boost and showing her she’s worth the investment of your time. 

4. Reroute the frustration to become motivation.

Frustration is a natural part of the learning process. Bandura found that the way we respond to that inevitable frustration impacts self-efficacy. If your child is trying to do a puzzle and can’t get the pieces to fit, her brow might furrow and she might clench her teeth. When you notice this, help create a mental link for her. Have her take a deep breath and connect her physiological response to the positive thought “I can conquer a challenge” instead of a defeating thought: “This is too hard.”

Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy said when she noticed her child was frustrated over a puzzle, instead of helping her finish, she would say, “The feeling you get when you think you can’t do something and then you keep going and you do it is the best feeling. And I don’t want to take that feeling away from you.” Make space for frustration and use it to create new pathways for can-do thinking.

How do you respond when your child feels defeated? What’s your go-to method to build an I-can-do-it attitude?

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Most of the best family memories revolve around something that was really funny. To possess a sense of humor is not only a happier way to exist, but it’s good for you. Laughing reduces stress and builds our connections and relationships. If you want more smiles, here are 10 ways for your family to laugh more.

1. Old Stories

Your kids absolutely love to hear funny stories from your childhood. Self-deprecating humor is always a winner. Just don’t go too far with it and ruin their opinion of you. Sharing your past helps them bond with and feel closer to you.

2. Creative Bedtime Stories

We all read bedtime stories to our kids. But do you make it funny? The laughter of your daughter or son is the most beautiful sound in the world. Add funny voices to the characters. Make hand motions. If you are the creative type, make up your own stories. Kids love to be included in the storyline.

3. Observing Life

People-watching and making up funny stories as you go is great fun. Same thing applies to animals. You would be amazed how many silly conversations you can pretend they are having. Keep it light though. Humor shouldn’t be mean.

4. Slapstick Movies

Before you roll your eyes at the idea of watching a movie that has slapstick humor, remember that physical comedy almost always hits with kids (pun intended). A mindless film is a good way to get a belly laugh with little kids.

5. Your Own Lyrics

Chances are you are listening to your kids’ favorite music anyway. By the 500th time around, you probably need to switch things up to keep your sanity. Make it fun for yourself and funny for them by changing the words more to your liking. Sing it loud and proud.

6. Impersonations

It could be of anybody or anything—one of their favorite television characters, a famous singer, or your kids’ grandpa. Even if you stink at your impression, it will probably still be funny. The laughter might come from how bad you are at it, but it’s still humor.

7. Silly Pranks

A timeless classic: the whoopee cushion. It’s funny 99% of the time. The whole joke depends on the timing. There’s quiet hush in the room. One of your sons is in serious mode, ready to sit down and study. Boom. Now that’s funny. Pranks require catching the victim off guard. It also requires good enough sense not to be mean or destructive.

8. Crazy Props

Funny coats. Wild hats. Fake teeth. Props rule when it’s unexpected. Maybe you are shopping with your daughters. Grab one of those big sun hats that always seem to be around women’s clothing stores, put it on, and sneak up behind your kids. It will be funny. If you keep a straight face like it’s normal, that’s even better. The key to humor is always timing.

9. The Repeated Joke

Some of the funnies moments in my family of four happen when we repeat a line we heard from a movie or show or in conversation. It can make absolutely zero sense in the context of the current conversation, but little inside jokes and one-liners create a sense of unity and bring big smiles.

10. Real Life Situations

Everybody has bad moments. Maybe you just tapped into the back of the car in front of you. Maybe your bag of groceries—the one with the carton of eggs—just broke open two feet from your front door. Generally, you might be inclined to shed a tear. (Eggs are expensive!) Instead, make it funny. Lighten the tension. Making fun of yourself at these moments can turn a possible bad memory into a lifelong great one.

What do you do to make your family laugh?

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