In hindsight, it happened so fast. My son went from a cuddly little boy to a deep-voiced teen. My suspicion is that he’s still a little boy on the inside and he’s trying to catch up with his outside appearance. Some days, I feel lost—like I no longer know how to be a mom of a boy. But when he grasps me in his long arms for a hug, somehow everything inside me settles and feels right again.
The teen years are an emotional ride for moms of boys. We mourn the relationship we’ve lost and struggle to find our new role. How do we know if we’re on the right track? If you’re a teen boy’s mom like me, you’re probably doing better than you think. Just look for these 6 signs.
1. You’re in the know.
You know your son’s passions. Whether it’s basketball or musicals, you engage with him about his interests because you know it draws you closer. As a teen boy’s mom, you also know that friends play a bigger role in your son’s life now that he’s older. He spends more time with them after school and on the weekends than he probably does with the family. But if you know his friends’ names and you’ve had them to your house, you’re well-connected to your son’s social life.
2. You’re annoying.
You’re annoying in the best possible way! You make sure he comes downstairs to eat dinner with the family. You encourage him to try new things. And you don’t let him off the hook for his chores and responsibilities around the house. If your son pushes back on your rules, you try to respond in a calm way. You want to make sure he stays on track in all aspects of his life, including the respect department. He may call you annoying here and there, but he probably appreciates you as his mom. If not now, then down the road.
3. You’re having fun too.
This new stage changes your relationship, but you and your son have better, deeper conversations now than when he was little. Maybe you also enjoy watching baseball games or Marvel movies together. You’re trying hard to engage with him, so you have a foot inside his world. When he shares his dreams (or worries) with you late at night, the sleep tugging at his eyes, you’re grateful your boy can open up to you.
4. You’re tired.
Sometimes, I’m not sure what’s worse: the tiredness from keeping him company as he finishes homework or the tiredness from the stress he gives off (be it academic, social, or whatnot). Either way, I’m trying to remind myself these teen years go quickly, and I’ll have plenty of time to catch up on my sleep after he graduates. Do you wait up on a Saturday night until he comes home from a party or from work? Do you attend all his games or concerts? Do you spend your spare minutes praying for your son because you’re worried? I’ve been there too. If you’re tired, you’re probably doing a good job as a teen boy’s mom.
5. You’re loved.
“I’m not a little kid anymore, Mom!” my son said as my lips grazed his forehead. Oops. He may not want kisses or cuddles anymore, but that doesn’t mean he loves you any less. Maybe he lets you hug him, but if not, he might show his love for you in other ways: by helping around the house or texting when he gets somewhere because he knows you’ll worry otherwise. If your son tells you flat out that he loves you, you’re lucky. But if he doesn’t, don’t worry. As the age-old wisdom goes, actions speak louder than words.
6. You’re emotional.
Though it’s a little exciting to think of your son out of the house someday, there’s also sadness about the short amount of time you have left together. When you spot that framed toddler photo in the hall, you’re floored because it didn’t seem that long ago. And though he’s still a work in progress, you see all your effort and endless love and prayer taking shape in this young man. It’s heartbreaking acknowledging the mistakes you’ve made along the way. But it’s heartwarming too, knowing a lot of your hard work has started to pay off!
What are the best parts about being a teen boy’s mom?
