I wondered—do kids share these frank thoughts with their moms? I’m sure an intuitive child might think that sharing those feelings would make Mom feel bad or worry. Are your kids sharing them with you? In case they aren’t and you want a teacher’s perspective on the impact of divorce on children, here are 4 things many of my students think and feel.

1. “I have a new job.”

One child told me that when his parents divorced, a well-meaning adult said, “You’re the man of the house now.” Since then, this very conscientious child has put extreme pressure on himself to be a little adult. He feels responsible for his mother and his younger siblings.

Research out of the University of Colorado Boulder found that one impact of divorce on children is that kids say they “grew up faster” in the areas of “parent-child relationships” and “sibling relationships.” Help your children avoid these outcomes by not expecting them to act like adults.  Avoid discussing finances with them, don’t lean on them emotionally, and don’t expect too much from them in caring for their siblings. Be very clear with your child: “You’re still a kid, and this isn’t your responsibility.”

2.“I can fix it.”

A sweet preteen said that after her parents divorced she decided to become very quiet. “I thought that maybe the reason they got divorced was because I was too loud.”

Children may not share what they’re feeling during and after a divorce. They see that mom and dad are stressed and upset, so they want to figure out how to make things better. Kids who’ve experienced a divorce need frequent reassurance that the divorce was not their fault, even if they say they already know that.

3. “I can’t figure out my emotions.”

I received an email about a student from one of our school’s guidance counselors. She explained that his parents were going through a rough divorce, and he was dealing with anxiety because of it. She asked me to reach out to his mom if I noticed any significant changes, like sleeping in class or struggling with his classwork.

The impact of divorce on kids may come out “sideways”—sadness may look like anger, and anxiety may appear as a lack of interest in school. These children need moms who will look beyond their behavior to what’s going on inside. Even if your child can’t or won’t verbalize how he feels, talk with him to discover the emotions behind the actions so you can help him process them in a healthy way.

4. “It’s too much for me.”

“Where’s your homework?” I asked one of my seventh graders. “I left it at my dad’s,” he said, sadly. I knew he was trying to stay on top of his schoolwork, but shuttling between his parents’ houses was tripping him up.

Children with divorced parents can feel overwhelmed by practical aspects of their living situation: keeping up with their things as they move from Mom’s to Dad’s, understanding differing expectations and rules, and having to be pleasant when they meet their parents’ new romantic interests. So, to the extent that is reasonable and that you can afford, have what your children need at both houses. Put a schoolwork basket by the door at each house, and come to an agreement with your ex about how to introduce new partners.

For mom: Keep talking and listening.

The impact of divorce on children isn’t always obvious. Even if your child seems OK, continue talking and listening. Reassure your child with words like, “You can tell me anything. It won’t hurt my feelings. You don’t have to put on a happy face for me. I want to know what you’re feeling. I love you.”

How have you gotten your kids to share their feelings about your divorce? If your feelings are still on the raw side, here are five ways you can start healing your own heart.

The post 4 Things Many Children Think and Feel During Divorce appeared first on iMOM.

The next time Allison and I talked, she’d gotten some tips from her counselor. She told Allison to imagine herself as a fire marshal, not a firefighter. Allison can’t control her ex, but she can investigate the situation and control her own responses to keep the flames from rising. Allison said she now pictures herself with her fire marshal badge anytime things start to get hot. If you need some wisdom for how to de-escalate tension between you and your ex during a disagreement, here are 5 other things that can help.

1. Take a breather.

Imagine this: You receive a text from your ex, his words dripping with accusation. Your initial reaction might be to fire back a rebuttal. But before you hit send, take a beat. Allison said, “There was a time I almost replied to an angry text from my ex at 2 a.m.! I realized later how unproductive that would have been.”

We’ve all been there—in a heated text exchange that leaves you feeling worse than when you started. In the moment, it’s easy to react impulsively. But rule number one for how to de-escalate tension between you and your ex is to give yourself time to cool down. Take a few deep breaths, distract yourself with a walk, or even write a draft version of the text and let it sit for 24 hours.

2. Use facts over feelings.

When emotions run high, facts go by the wayside. We use lines like “you always” or “you never” which only add fuel to the fire. Focus on the specific issue at hand. Instead of, “You never pick up the kids on time”, try, “Last week, they were late for soccer practice because of pick-up delays.” Sticking to the facts keeps the conversation grounded and reduces the space for defensiveness.

3. Pick up the phone.

Ask anyone who’s co-parented how to de-escalate tension between you and your ex during a fight, and they’ll say texting can be a breeding ground for misunderstandings. Emojis can be misinterpreted, and the lack of vocal cues creates a space for negativity to fester.

If you and your ex can have a civil conversation, pick up the phone. The sound of each other’s voices can help humanize the situation and promote empathy. If phone calls always devolve into arguments, stick to written communication, but choose your words carefully. If you have a friend you trust to be honest with you, run the text by her and ask, “Does this sound fair? Could it be misinterpreted?”

4. Focus on your child.

Remember, you’re still a team, even if you’re not a couple anymore. The ultimate goal is to create a stable and supportive environment for your child.

Instead of getting sucked into a power struggle about who’s right in this situation, ask him (and yourself), “How can we resolve this disagreement in a way that benefits our kids?” This shift in focus can help steer the conversation toward solutions.

5. Lean on the power of apology.

We all make mistakes. If you find yourself contributing to the escalation of a disagreement, don’t be afraid to apologize. A simple “I’m sorry I raised my voice earlier” can go a long way in diffusing tension and showing your ex-husband you’re willing to work together.

Open communication, even if it’s not always the smoothest, paves the way for a more positive co-parenting experience for you and your child. If you keep running into the same issues, consider a few sessions with a counselor. She can give you tools for de-escalating tension between you and your ex. You might not look forward to the next disagreement, but you’ll come out feeling more confident that you made the healthiest choices for your children.

How do you keep tensions from rising when you and your ex-husband disagree?

The post 5 Ways to De-Escalate Disagreements With Your Ex appeared first on iMOM.

Now I’m not saying you should pretend like the hard parts of single parenting don’t exist, but listening to my friend showed me how beauty and challenges often share the same space. My friend said these 5 benefits of being a single mom helped her love better. Can you see them in your life, too?

1. The Bond You Have With Your Children

One of the most precious benefits of being a single mom is the closeness you develop with your children. You’re their rock, their confidante, their everything. Without another parent to share the daily responsibilities, you naturally become a team, facing the world together. You share more laughter, more tears, more whispered secrets at tuck-in time.

Marla said as hard as it had been to be the only one there to respond to a middle-of-the night cry, she knew that when her kids thought about the voice that comforted them, it would always be hers.

2. Learning Resourcefulness

Being a single mom hones your resourcefulness like no other experience. You become a magician, turning a shoestring budget into a three-course meal, a master negotiator convincing your child to wear yesterday’s clothes “one last time,” and a tireless advocate, fighting for your children’s needs.

I’ve seen this in action. Marla has a can-do attitude that permeates every aspect of her life. Her resourcefulness has given her a skillset that’s not only gotten her through the past six years, but empowers her for future challenges.

3. The Unexpected Family You Build

Single motherhood doesn’t mean you go it alone. You build a unique family around you—friends, extended family, other single parents. These people become your cheerleaders, your support system, and your occasional babysitters. Marla not only had that in me, but she also found support in her next-door neighbors who let the kids swim in their pool and a church friend who swung into car line whenever she got stuck at work.

The village a single mom forms might be the greatest blessing of all because it impacts the kids in a profound way. Derek Peterson, Founder of Integrated Youth Development, theorized that if each child has five quality adults pouring into them, they can thrive. That includes grandparents, a tutor, and your BFF who surprises the kids by taking them for ice cream.

4. Gaining a Different Perspective

Single motherhood offers a unique perspective on the world. You see things not just as a parent but also as a single person navigating a world often designed for couples.

Marla said, “Becoming a single mom shut down my judgmental side real quick!” She saw life differently because she no longer fit in the family mold she’d envisioned. This perspective helped her raise her children with open hearts and minds and to show respect to people who are different from them.

5. Sharing in Your Children’s Successes

You probably know the feeling of pride that comes from witnessing your child’s successes. These moments fuel your spirit and remind you that the challenges are worth every sleepless night.

I noticed Marla found a special kind of joy in her sons’ victories. All moms feel that for their children, but it’s different for a single mom. Marla didn’t have her husband to high five when one of their boys scored the winning goal in his lacrosse championship. She didn’t get to share a proud text with Dad when their other son got a 100% on his civics test. She nurtured these incredible young men all on her own, and celebrated their wins knowing that.

What are some of the benefits of being a single mom that you want people to know?

The post 5 Ways Solo Parenting Unleashes Your Fiercest Love appeared first on iMOM.

If you’re co-parenting or raising your kids on your own, the way you communicate with teachers is going to look a little different than it does for moms in two-parent households. To give your kids the best shot at success, both academically and socially, here are 7 things you should try to do and one thing to avoid when communicating with teachers.

7 Things to DO When Communicating With Teachers

1. Remember that you’re not alone. 

About 30% of U.S. born kids live in single-parent households. That means that your kids are not the only ones in their classrooms who live with just Mom or just Dad. You don’t have to feel ashamed or awkward about the makeup of your family. Be upfront with the teacher. I’m sure she’ll appreciate your honesty and be rooting for your child.

2. Be honest but not dramatic.

If your children’s father is neglectful or doesn’t help the kids stay on top of their school work when they’re at his house, tell their teachers. Limit what you share to the facts that affect your children, and ensure the teacher that you’re doing what you can when they’re home with you.

3. Ask for duplicate copies of important information, and use two folders. 

“I had no idea he’d bitten a kid until the parent-teacher conference a month later!” my friend told me with a twinge of embarrassment. Her son’s teacher had sent home a note, but it never made it to her because her ex-husband picked their son up that day and emptied his backpack.

At the start of the school year, put in a formal request to be sent two copies of important information (schedule changes, discipline notices, permission slips)—one for you and one for Dad. Make separate folders, one labeled “Mom” and one labeled “Dad.”

4. Welcome any form of communication.

Part two of the biting incident was my friend telling the teacher to text or email her if it happened again. If the teacher’s method of communication isn’t working for your two-household family, ask if an alternate form is possible. I know a few teachers who use a group text platform to keep everyone in the loop.

5. Provide your time-sharing schedule. 

Another friend of mine let her daughters’ teachers know that the front pockets of their book bags had all the information they needed for both households—contact information and their overnight schedule—in case anyone had questions or needed to contact them.

6. Ask if there are conference times that are during non-work hours.

If there’s not an hour of the day that you’re not at work or with your kids, parent-teacher conferences (especially for multiple children in one day) can be tricky to squeeze into your schedule. If you address this at the start of the year, the teachers might have an idea that works for you. Using foresight instead of replying to the conference email with “I can’t make it during those times” will show the teachers that you want to cooperate with them to do what’s best for your child.

7. Keep an open line of communication about what’s going on at home. 

If your divorce is fresh, Dad is getting remarried, or he’s been a no-show for a few weeks, there’s nothing wrong with filling in your child’s teacher. Like point number two, avoid mud-slinging. Just offer insight into anything that might be affecting your child’s behavior, attention span, or emotions.

1 Thing NOT to Do When Communicating With Teachers

1. Intentionally leave out Dad. 

When I was putting this list together, one of the teachers I surveyed said she would do whatever she needed “to make a parent feel less excluded.” She said often, dads want to reach out but feel uncomfortable. Then, because they’re in the dark when the kids go to their houses, they don’t know what’s due or how to access work that’s online.

So even if you doubt that your ex-husband will help your kids with homework or remind them about an upcoming test, do what you can to include him in communications with teachers. Remind him about open house or conference dates, and copy him on emails about your child’s behavior or grades.

What do you tell teachers at the start of the school year to help your kids succeed?

The post 7 Do’s (and 1 Don’t) for Communicating With Teachers as a Single Mom appeared first on iMOM.

We hope these messages from other moms remind you of your strength and impact. Bookmark these 25 single mom quotes or jot down your favorites. Then come back to them when you need to know you’ve got what it takes and your kids are lucky to call you Mom.

25 Single Mom Quotes

1. “A single mother has a backbone made of steel and a heart made of gold.” – unknown

2. “Being a working mother and a working single parent instills in you a sense of determination.” – Felicity Jones

3. “Being a single parent is not a life full of struggles, but a journey for the strong.” – Meg Lowery

4. “What I don’t have is not as important to me as what I do have.” – Padma Lakshmi

5. “You always have to carry on. And you can, because you have to.” – Kate Winslet

6. “I’m a single parent. What’s your superpower?” – unknown

7. “It’s difficult, but far from impossible, and we smile more than we cry.” – Regina King

More Wise and Wonderful Single Mom Quotes

8. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.” – Yvonne Kaloki

9. “In the end, I am the only one who can give my children a happy mother who loves life.” – Janene Wolsey Baadsgaard

10. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a super mom.” – Stephanie Precourt

11. “We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.” – Maya Angelou

12. “Some days, she has no idea how she’ll do it. But every single day, it still gets done.” – Anonymous

13. “Single mom. Double duty. No days off. Full of love. Fiercely strong.” – unknown

14. “Raising children takes a village, but a single mom is the village chief.” –  Kristen Butler

15. “Single mom life: Messy buns, coffee runs, endless love.” –  unknown

Still Looking for a Favorite? More Single Mom Quotes For You

16. “There will be days that are tough, but you are strong enough to handle them. You are a single mom.” –  unknown

17. “Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s tiring. But yes, it’s also the most rewarding thing in the world. You are a single mom, and you are amazing.” –  unknown

18. “Being a single mum is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.” – anonymous

19. “She has to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two hearts, and double the love. There is nothing single about a single mom.” – Mandy Hale

20. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill

21. “One thing I know for sure—this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”- Jennifer Nettles

22. “Don’t mess with a single mother. You will not win.”- anonymous

23. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”- Halle Berry

24. “Don’t pity me because I am a single mom. Respect me for having the courage to do it alone, the strength to never give up, and the love to put my child’s needs before my own.”- unknown

25. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”- Deniece Williams

What’s a quote that inspires you to be the best mom you can be?

The post 25 Single Mom Quotes That Sum Up Why You’re Awesome appeared first on iMOM.

Some people would consider her response to be harsh or restrictive, but it isn’t. It’s an example of having boundaries, which define what you’re comfortable with. One of the benefits of boundaries many people don’t realize is that you find new levels of freedom. Here are 3 freedoms you gain when you set boundaries.

1. The Freedom to Decide Who Influences Your Family and When

My friend has a cousin who often makes comments about her weight. She’ll say things like, “If you don’t lose weight, you’ll have a hard time finding a man.” It’s always bothered her, but the final straw was when her daughter came to her crying because her cousin said she wasn’t skinny enough. My friend told her cousin to stop commenting on her and her daughter’s weights or they wouldn’t spend time together anymore.

One of the benefits of boundaries is that they give you the freedom to decide who influences your family and when instead of doing damage control after your child spends time around bad influences. You also get to decide when you allow other people to see you instead of letting them determine how you spend your time by not allowing them to show up at your house unannounced or guilt you into visiting them.

2. The Freedom to Have Privacy

Another friend has a child who just turned 3 and isn’t potty-trained yet. Whenever she goes to family gatherings, her aunt says her daughter is too old not to be potty-trained and then asks when my friend plans to start potty-training. Every time it comes up, her aunt reminds her that her kids were potty-trained by age two and that she should force her daughter to use the potty instead of a diaper.

Instead of tolerating nosy or inappropriate questions from people, discussing subjects that aren’t their business, or getting unsolicited advice you don’t want or need, create boundaries to make sure people know which subjects are off limits. If people ask inappropriate questions or try to discuss subjects that aren’t theirs to discuss with you, consider responding with:

• “Thank you for your input, but I already have a plan for this.”
• “Thank you for your advice, but I would like to try something different.”
• “Thank you for your concern, but this is not a subject I’m open to discussing with you.”

3. The Freedom to Love the Family You Have

For the first few years of motherhood, I struggled with guilt because I couldn’t give my children what I had—a two-parent home. This guilt got worse whenever I saw smiling couples on social media. As I scrolled, I noticed I started to believe I was failing as a mom. Those feelings caused me to overspend and take on more than I could handle in an attempt to overcome the deficit I thought my family was living with. I finally found freedom when I defined what family meant to me—raising my children with the support of my parents and sisters.

Social media can trigger feelings of inadequacy and competition if you believe your family isn’t measuring up. Leaving that belief unchecked can cause you to question whether you’re a good enough mom or if you’re doing enough for your children. Consider creating some boundaries, like taking those apps off of your phone, unfollowing accounts that tempt you to compare, limiting your scrolling, or taking a social media break. This will give you the freedom to love the family you have instead of comparing it to others.

Have you considered the benefits of boundaries? Which ones do you need to establish to gain more freedom?

The post 3 Freedoms You’ll Gain When You Set Boundaries appeared first on iMOM.

We learn most manners as kids, but as we get older, the way we apply them morphs to fit different relationships. What if we applied a few of the most important manners to how we relate to our exes? Call it ex-spouse etiquette. Think you can mind these 5 manners with your ex?

1. Keep your hands clean.

It’s good manners to wash up so we don’t spread germs, but our hands aren’t the only way we spread sickness around. Sometimes, we share “germs” in the form of rumors or trash-talk about our exes. These infect the relationships in our lives with negativity.

When are you most tempted to say something unkind or catty about your ex? If it’s when you’re with your friends, tell them conversations about him are off-limits. If it’s when you’re around your kids, find a different way to release your anger or annoyance, like journaling or a hot shower.

2. Wait your turn.

Watching my kids share one video game controller revealed how differently two people can perceive the passage of time. You know how it goes. The one waiting whines, “You’ve had the controller for like, forever!” and the other responds, “I just got it!”

It can feel like that when we have shared custody of our kids. The time we have with them is so valuable that it’s tempting to ask for an extra hour here or there or bring them back to Dad a little late. Let your ex-husband have his turn and request that he show you the same respect when it’s your time.

3. Say excuse me.

Kids shouldn’t interrupt, but if they have to, saying “excuse me” is polite. The same goes for interactions between you and their dad. You might not use “excuse me,” but it’s good ex-spouse etiquette to acknowledge when you shake up the schedule or inconvenience the other person.

My ex-husband had a few days off of work and wanted to take our kids on vacation, but it meant missing three days of school. He didn’t text me with, “I’m pulling the kids out on these three days.” He said, “I’d like to take them skiing, but I wanted to run it by you to make sure you’re OK with them missing school.” He recognized it wasn’t an ideal scenario, but together we could make it work.

4. Knock before entering.

Teaching kids to knock is one of the first ways we teach boundaries and privacy. As you get older, boundaries aren’t quite as literal as a door, but they’re just as important, maybe more. What boundaries need to be respected between you and your ex-husband?

A few “knocks” you could agree upon: Text or call instead of just showing up. Respect each other’s requests for interactions with family members. (Pull back a bit if he has asked that you stop calling his mom so much.) Don’t give each other the third degree about who you’re dating. You only need to know the details that impact your children, e.g., his new girlfriend’s profession, not her dress size.

5. Say please and thank you.

Even though they’re simple words, I remind my kids to say please and thank you because it reinforces the message that they aren’t entitled to anything. Saying please and thank you shows respect and humility.

I don’t know many women who want to speak to their exes with respect and humility. Most don’t want to speak to their exes at all. But if you want things to become more peaceful, try this simple ex-spouse etiquette. Little things like “Thank you for taking her to the pediatrician so I didn’t have to leave work!” can go a long way to create a better dynamic between you.

Which manners that you taught your kids also make appropriate ex-spouse etiquette?

The post 5 Manners We Teach Kids That Work With Exes, Too appeared first on iMOM.

Then I said, “Want help coming up with some ideas?” She took me up on the offer, and we started by having her name her hopes for the summer. She said relaxation, adventure, and connection. If those things matter to you, too, and you’re working with a meager budget, here are 5 priceless summer memories you can make.

1. Share a sunset.

Last summer, I promised my sons a trip to the beach. A family emergency pushed back the day’s schedule, and we didn’t get to the beach until after four. At first, we all felt like we’d been cheated out of a day of fun, but watching my kids splash in the waves at sunset and feeling the warm breeze on my face made for a perfect evening. 

There’s something about the sunset that takes a normal activity and transforms it into something meaningful. It’s like you’re living in a piece of artwork. So pick up some dessert after dinner and sit on a park bench with your kids. Or pack a bag and head to the closest lake or beach and toss a frisbee to close out the day. 

2. Let loose with a No Rules Day.

If adventure is on your list, I promise your kids will always remember the day Mom said, “There are no rules for the next 24 hours!” My friend did a No Rules Day, and his kids made banana splits for breakfast. (Hey, it has fruit!) As far as inexpensive summer activities go, you can’t get much cheaper than this because a No Rules Day is free.

As long as you’re respectful of each another and other people’s property, the sky’s the limit. Which reminds me, my friend’s kids also got on the roof and star gazed in the middle of the night. 

3. Walk the runway.

Summer is a time to act silly, make a mess, and use your imagination. A fashion show checks all those boxes. Pick some themes: the seasons, wacky and weird, or formal wear. Give everyone time to plan their outfits, then put on some music with a fun beat. After one person finishes strutting, the next can go throw on her ensemble. And you have to participate, Mom. The best way to make priceless memories with your kids is to join the fun.

Get smart and use a fashion show to clean out your kids’ closets. The theme could be “too small,” and the kids have to find clothes they’ve outgrown. Challenge your models not to laugh as they waddle the runway in tiny pajamas. That’s an inexpensive summer activity that’s entertaining and functional!   

4. Learn a DIY skill.

Most home supply stores like Home Depot or Lowes have free DIY classes for kids over the summer. They’ll learn how to use tools, measure, and cut, and you’ll probably pick up a few useful skills while you supervise. The best part is that while it appears as though they’re just building a birdhouse, your kids are actually building confidence by gaining knowledge and a new skill set. 

5. Have a “Best in Town” contest.

What food do your kids love? Tacos? Spaghetti? Fries? Make a scoring sheet with whatever criteria you want: taste, presentation, value, wow factor… Each week, visit a different restaurant that offers that food, and at the end of the summer, crown the winner. You could even let the kids create an award certificate and present it to the restaurant manager. And try emailing corporate with the news. You might get a freebie or two. 

What other inexpensive summer activities make priceless memories?

The post 5 Priceless Summer Memories to Make on a Single Mom Budget appeared first on iMOM.

Thinking about juggling work, activities, and childcare over the summer puts me under stress. But it doesn’t have to. Here are 4 ways single moms can prepare emotionally for the summer.

1. Minimize stress by preparing in advance.

It was midnight, and I stared at the tiny pile of laundry that contained my twins’ swimming suits, towels, and camp shirts. I was exhausted, but going to bed before doing laundry wasn’t an option. My children attended a camp where they swam almost every day and wore camp shirts daily. The problem was they both only had one camp shirt and one set of swimming clothes. This meant I had to do laundry daily.

I could have minimized my stress by planning to have enough shirts and swimsuits to last a few days. What parts of your kids’ summer tend to cause you stress? Prepare ahead. If your kids have a habit of asking for last-minute play dates, call their friends’ moms on Sundays and schedule them in advance. If you know your kids are going to call your office six times a day to ask if they’re allowed to eat what’s in the pantry, make a list of what they’re allowed to eat, and post it on the pantry door. Also, create a budget for the summer. If you know in advance how much you are going to spend, you won’t be as stressed about it.

2. Make a summer bucket list for yourself.

I read a story of a mom who struggled with loneliness during the summer when her children were with her ex-husband. She had the great idea to create a summer bucket list of kid-free things to do that could bring her joy. Initially, she felt guilty about creating a list of activities she could look forward to, as if it was wrong not to sit around missing her children every day. But she understood she couldn’t change the custody arrangement, so she decided to find happiness.

Give yourself permission to feel both feelings. You’re not wrong to feel happy, and you’re not wrong to feel sad.

3. Give yourself permission to accept less than perfect.

One of my kids walked up to me toward the end of the summer and said, “Mommy, we didn’t go to the pool this summer.” I replied, “You swam at camp and at swimming lessons.” Then the other child chimed in, “But we didn’t go to the pool with you.” Ouch. I had plans to go, but between work, camp, the cost, and other activities, we didn’t get around to it.

We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to create a perfect summer for our children. When that doesn’t happen, it can trigger feelings of single-mom guilt. Give yourself permission for the summer to not be perfect. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can and your children will still have an amazing summer.

4. Adopt a new perspective.

As I created the summer schedule for the twins, there were weeks they had a half day at camp on a day I was off of work. During the school year, on my days off, I write, manage my YouTube channel, do a self-care activity, or run errands.

You can look at summer as an expensive disruption of the regular schedule, or you can look at it as extra time to spend with your children away from homework and extracurricular activities. When you look at it this way, summer becomes an invitation to slow down and be more intentional.

What are your favorite tips to prepare for the summer?

The post 4 Ways Single Moms Can Emotionally Prepare for Summer appeared first on iMOM.

When you’re celebrating Mother’s Day as a single mom, it’s hard not to throw yourself a pity party. There’s no one to help trace tiny hands or remind the kids to “be good to Mom.” But you deserve to be celebrated because you’re doing a hard thing, and I bet you’re doing it well. If Mother’s Day as a single mom has got you down, I hope you remember these 5 things.

1. You’ve earned rest.

2. You’re not alone.

If you are making all the meals on Mother’s Day and folding all the laundry, it can feel very isolating. But I promise you’re not alone. There’s another widowed, divorced, or otherwise single mom shouting, “It’s Mother’s Day, kids! Can you all not fight for one day?” or holding a crying toddler who won’t go down for his midday nap. You can’t see her, but she’s with you in spirit. Take a moment to think of her or pray for strength for both of you.

3. It’s OK to feel sad or hurt.

It’s not fair that your husband passed away or that you didn’t get your happily ever after. And now, you don’t get the special treatment you deserve. It’s understandable to feel like you’ve been cheated. Mother’s Day as a single mom can bring out a lot of uncomfortable emotions. Don’t rush through them. Write them down, say them out loud to a friend, and cry into your pillow if you feel like it. 

4. You’re loved.

Your kids might not know when Mother’s Day is or that you’re supposed to be doted on. That doesn’t change the fact that you are loved. Look for subtle ways your kids let their love show—sharing their cheerios, putting their dishes in the dishwasher because they know it matters to you, giving you a big hug around the neck at bedtime.

5. You’re strong.

You might not have asked to do this alone, but you’ve stepped up to the plate day after day. That takes incredible strength and perseverance. Your kids see what you do, and even if they don’t give you flowers or treat you to brunch, they appreciate you. It might just take some time for them to know how to express it.

And if all that’s not enough…

Even though Mother’s Day might be bittersweet for you, I hope you look into the mirror on Sunday and know you’re exactly who you are meant to be. I hope you always remember that of all the women who could be a mom to your kids, you’re the one who was chosen. They got you—an extraordinary, irreplaceable woman—to call “Mom.” You’re their one and only, and I hope you have a very happy Mother’s Day.

What word of encouragement could you offer someone else celebrating Mother’s Day as a single mom?

The post 5 Things to Remember if You’re Celebrating Mother’s Day Single appeared first on iMOM.