A friend of mine, Marla, who was a widow for six years got married last May. Her sons have a new father figure in their lives, and she has a new partner. We were chatting about how things would change now that her solo parenting chapter had come to an end, and she said, “As hard as it was, there were a lot of blessings and unexpected benefits of being a single mom.”
Now I’m not saying you should pretend like the hard parts of single parenting don’t exist, but listening to my friend showed me how beauty and challenges often share the same space. My friend said these 5 benefits of being a single mom helped her love better. Can you see them in your life, too?
1. The Bond You Have With Your Children
One of the most precious benefits of being a single mom is the closeness you develop with your children. You’re their rock, their confidante, their everything. Without another parent to share the daily responsibilities, you naturally become a team, facing the world together. You share more laughter, more tears, more whispered secrets at tuck-in time.
Marla said as hard as it had been to be the only one there to respond to a middle-of-the night cry, she knew that when her kids thought about the voice that comforted them, it would always be hers.
2. Learning Resourcefulness
Being a single mom hones your resourcefulness like no other experience. You become a magician, turning a shoestring budget into a three-course meal, a master negotiator convincing your child to wear yesterday’s clothes “one last time,” and a tireless advocate, fighting for your children’s needs.
I’ve seen this in action. Marla has a can-do attitude that permeates every aspect of her life. Her resourcefulness has given her a skillset that’s not only gotten her through the past six years, but empowers her for future challenges.
3. The Unexpected Family You Build
Single motherhood doesn’t mean you go it alone. You build a unique family around you—friends, extended family, other single parents. These people become your cheerleaders, your support system, and your occasional babysitters. Marla not only had that in me, but she also found support in her next-door neighbors who let the kids swim in their pool and a church friend who swung into car line whenever she got stuck at work.
The village a single mom forms might be the greatest blessing of all because it impacts the kids in a profound way. Derek Peterson, Founder of Integrated Youth Development, theorized that if each child has five quality adults pouring into them, they can thrive. That includes grandparents, a tutor, and your BFF who surprises the kids by taking them for ice cream.
4. Gaining a Different Perspective
Single motherhood offers a unique perspective on the world. You see things not just as a parent but also as a single person navigating a world often designed for couples.
Marla said, “Becoming a single mom shut down my judgmental side real quick!” She saw life differently because she no longer fit in the family mold she’d envisioned. This perspective helped her raise her children with open hearts and minds and to show respect to people who are different from them.
5. Sharing in Your Children’s Successes
You probably know the feeling of pride that comes from witnessing your child’s successes. These moments fuel your spirit and remind you that the challenges are worth every sleepless night.
I noticed Marla found a special kind of joy in her sons’ victories. All moms feel that for their children, but it’s different for a single mom. Marla didn’t have her husband to high five when one of their boys scored the winning goal in his lacrosse championship. She didn’t get to share a proud text with Dad when their other son got a 100% on his civics test. She nurtured these incredible young men all on her own, and celebrated their wins knowing that.
What are some of the benefits of being a single mom that you want people to know?
