As much as I love summer, at times, the thought of summer break stresses me out. The school year feels comforting because it is predictable, and I can plan around it. But summer preparation for single moms is a patchwork of activities, prayers the schedule will work, and the payments I have to make for activities.
Thinking about juggling work, activities, and childcare over the summer puts me under stress. But it doesn’t have to. Here are 4 ways single moms can prepare emotionally for the summer.
1. Minimize stress by preparing in advance.
It was midnight, and I stared at the tiny pile of laundry that contained my twins’ swimming suits, towels, and camp shirts. I was exhausted, but going to bed before doing laundry wasn’t an option. My children attended a camp where they swam almost every day and wore camp shirts daily. The problem was they both only had one camp shirt and one set of swimming clothes. This meant I had to do laundry daily.
I could have minimized my stress by planning to have enough shirts and swimsuits to last a few days. What parts of your kids’ summer tend to cause you stress? Prepare ahead. If your kids have a habit of asking for last-minute play dates, call their friends’ moms on Sundays and schedule them in advance. If you know your kids are going to call your office six times a day to ask if they’re allowed to eat what’s in the pantry, make a list of what they’re allowed to eat, and post it on the pantry door. Also, create a budget for the summer. If you know in advance how much you are going to spend, you won’t be as stressed about it.
2. Make a summer bucket list for yourself.
I read a story of a mom who struggled with loneliness during the summer when her children were with her ex-husband. She had the great idea to create a summer bucket list of kid-free things to do that could bring her joy. Initially, she felt guilty about creating a list of activities she could look forward to, as if it was wrong not to sit around missing her children every day. But she understood she couldn’t change the custody arrangement, so she decided to find happiness.
Give yourself permission to feel both feelings. You’re not wrong to feel happy, and you’re not wrong to feel sad.
3. Give yourself permission to accept less than perfect.
One of my kids walked up to me toward the end of the summer and said, “Mommy, we didn’t go to the pool this summer.” I replied, “You swam at camp and at swimming lessons.” Then the other child chimed in, “But we didn’t go to the pool with you.” Ouch. I had plans to go, but between work, camp, the cost, and other activities, we didn’t get around to it.
We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to create a perfect summer for our children. When that doesn’t happen, it can trigger feelings of single-mom guilt. Give yourself permission for the summer to not be perfect. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can and your children will still have an amazing summer.
4. Adopt a new perspective.
As I created the summer schedule for the twins, there were weeks they had a half day at camp on a day I was off of work. During the school year, on my days off, I write, manage my YouTube channel, do a self-care activity, or run errands.
You can look at summer as an expensive disruption of the regular schedule, or you can look at it as extra time to spend with your children away from homework and extracurricular activities. When you look at it this way, summer becomes an invitation to slow down and be more intentional.
What are your favorite tips to prepare for the summer?
