I brushed sand off two sets of tiny feet and piled back into the car—me, my two kids, and my parents—sticky after a visit to the beach. It was a high of 89 that Mother’s Day, so despite the fun we had, we were all looking forward to being back in the A/C. My parents dropped us off, and as the garage door lowered and they drove away, I felt a heaviness. I’m back on duty despite it being Mother’s Day.
When you’re celebrating Mother’s Day as a single mom, it’s hard not to throw yourself a pity party. There’s no one to help trace tiny hands or remind the kids to “be good to Mom.” But you deserve to be celebrated because you’re doing a hard thing, and I bet you’re doing it well. If Mother’s Day as a single mom has got you down, I hope you remember these 5 things.
1. You’ve earned rest.
2. You’re not alone.
If you are making all the meals on Mother’s Day and folding all the laundry, it can feel very isolating. But I promise you’re not alone. There’s another widowed, divorced, or otherwise single mom shouting, “It’s Mother’s Day, kids! Can you all not fight for one day?” or holding a crying toddler who won’t go down for his midday nap. You can’t see her, but she’s with you in spirit. Take a moment to think of her or pray for strength for both of you.
3. It’s OK to feel sad or hurt.
It’s not fair that your husband passed away or that you didn’t get your happily ever after. And now, you don’t get the special treatment you deserve. It’s understandable to feel like you’ve been cheated. Mother’s Day as a single mom can bring out a lot of uncomfortable emotions. Don’t rush through them. Write them down, say them out loud to a friend, and cry into your pillow if you feel like it.
4. You’re loved.
Your kids might not know when Mother’s Day is or that you’re supposed to be doted on. That doesn’t change the fact that you are loved. Look for subtle ways your kids let their love show—sharing their cheerios, putting their dishes in the dishwasher because they know it matters to you, giving you a big hug around the neck at bedtime.
5. You’re strong.
You might not have asked to do this alone, but you’ve stepped up to the plate day after day. That takes incredible strength and perseverance. Your kids see what you do, and even if they don’t give you flowers or treat you to brunch, they appreciate you. It might just take some time for them to know how to express it.
And if all that’s not enough…
Even though Mother’s Day might be bittersweet for you, I hope you look into the mirror on Sunday and know you’re exactly who you are meant to be. I hope you always remember that of all the women who could be a mom to your kids, you’re the one who was chosen. They got you—an extraordinary, irreplaceable woman—to call “Mom.” You’re their one and only, and I hope you have a very happy Mother’s Day.
What word of encouragement could you offer someone else celebrating Mother’s Day as a single mom?
