Motherhood is tricky. You’re rarely alone, but loneliness can creep in like a sneaky ninja. Sometimes, it attacks while you’re folding laundry or sitting in car line. If you’re a single mom, loneliness can pack a punch on weekends when your kids are away or even when you’re driving to work.
Loneliness is like mental quicksand. It can drag you down, tricking you into thinking things you didn’t believe before. But you don’t have to fall for the tricks or believe the lies. If we understand what loneliness is trying to do to us, we can form an effective game plan to climb out of that quicksand. Here are 5 lies loneliness sells you.
1. You’re the outlier.
It can be very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re the only person dealing with feelings like this. But millions of people battle loneliness. It’s a true epidemic. Believing the lie that you’re the only one fighting this fight makes overcoming it seem even more daunting.
2. Loneliness is only a mental problem.
The truth is that loneliness can dramatically impact your physical health. The U.S. Surgeon General’s office released a report stating a lack of social connections “can increase the risk of premature death to levels comparable to smoking daily.” Loneliness is also connected to stroke, heart disease, depression, anxiety, and dementia, but there are ways to combat all this.
Health experts at top universities like UCLA and Duke have researched the benefits endorphins can have in reversing the physical symptoms of loneliness. The release of endorphins through exercise can boost self-esteem, increase mental alertness, and change brain chemistry. Challenge yourself to get your blood flowing when you’re feeling lonely, especially if exercising means spending time around other people at a gym or walks around the neighborhood. The endorphins that result from your workouts will help reduce those feelings of loneliness.
3. Loneliness instantly stops around friends.
Packing your schedule might seem like the obvious way to overcome loneliness, but it won’t cure it overnight. Don’t get discouraged if those lonely feelings don’t go away as quickly as you hoped. Keep looking to make meaningful connections, even if it takes a while. The more you connect with others, the more they will begin to support you if those lonely feelings return.
4. You can will yourself out of this.
God doesn’t want us to feel lonely. He wants us to thrive. But trying to think your way out of loneliness doesn’t work. We have to talk it over with someone we trust. Don’t hesitate to contact a counselor, perhaps through your church, to work through your lonely feelings that won’t go away. Those conversations will help you navigate the journey.
5. Technology doesn’t have an effect.
This is a big lie. Studies have shown that people who use social media for two hours or more daily are more than twice as likely to report feeling isolated than those who are on those apps for less than 30 minutes a day. Digital interactions cannot replace in-person connections.
If you’re lonely right now, know that you’re not alone and don’t have to listen to the lies loneliness tells you. Take a step today that aligns with the truth—there is hope for us when we get lonely.
Who is someone you can turn to when you’re feeling lonely?
