To be funny, I bought my husband a gaming-style T-shirt for our last anniversary. It read, “Level 20 Completed.” We’d made it to 20 years of marriage, so it felt appropriate! When I see him wearing the shirt, I can’t help but smile. But making a relationship last this long—or longer—is never a guarantee. Leveling up takes work.
Like any good video game, there are obstacles and threats at every turn. But the good news is, there are always “power ups” to strengthen your relationship too. If you want to know how to make a relationship last forever, think of these 7 words as the power ups you need in your marriage. They’ll help you get to the next level (or anniversary!) with your husband.
1. Share
I hesitated, but then called to my husband. “There are two chocolates left. Want one?” Honestly, I hoped he’d say no. But he didn’t, and bringing him a little joy ended up making me happy too. Being generous with chocolate is one thing, but so is being generous with your heart. Do you share what’s on your mind? Do you share concerns but compliments as well? Keeping everything to yourself doesn’t make for an openhearted relationship. Start sharing and see how it pulls you closer together.
2. Compromise
“How about we take turns driving with him?” I asked my husband. Neither one of us really wanted to take on this job, but our teen needed to learn! So, we talked for a while and finally reached a compromise. You don’t want one person being resentful, so learning to negotiate is huge. If you can both agree on how to do something, you’ll have powered-up your relationship.
3. Support
If you’re reading up on how to make a relationship last forever, know that showing up for the other person is key. Show up for his rec league softball game, but also show up emotionally when he needs support. Maybe he wants to get something about work off his chest. Or perhaps he’s feeling down because an injury has put him in physical therapy. Supporting your husband through life’s bumps is what marriage is all about.
4. Nourish
What does a robin do in spring? She builds a strong and sturdy nest that will keep her eggs warm and protected. Marriage is like that nest. It’s where everything starts and thrives. To take good care of your marriage, give it attention. Build it with love and respect for your husband. A sturdy nest will stabilize your family and your children’s happiness. So put time into it. Nourish your marriage so when the wind blows, it won’t crumble.
5. Accept
In 20 years, my husband has grown as a father and spouse, but he still has some of those (annoying) little habits I wanted to change years ago. I’ve learned it’s better for our marriage to accept who he is than nitpick over every little thing. For minor annoyances, give your husband grace and let them go. And remind yourself of all the great reasons you married him.
6. Forgive
Holding a grudge isn’t healthy for your relationship, but it’s also physically harmful. The added stress, according to Healthline, can lead to “increased blood pressure, heart problems, lowered immunity, and inflammation.” No one wants that. The answer, of course, is forgiveness. Minor infractions are easier to let go, but if you’re finding it difficult to forgive your husband, start with a conversation and then consider talking to a pastor or therapist if you need more help. When you forgive, you put another brick in the foundation of your marriage, building it to last longer.
7. Play
As soon as a familiar tune started playing in the kitchen, my husband and I both started wiggling our hips. And with that, my daughter rolled her eyes. Being playful with your husband draws you together. Maybe there’s a board game or a sport you used to enjoy before the kids came along. Being silly, letting your guard down, and relaxing with your husband are good for both of you. And it’s how you can make your relationship last.
Making a relationship last takes effort. What do you do that’s good for your marriage?
