Looking through our wedding photos, I was happily surprised to see a picture of our kiss at the altar. I was surprised because that was the fastest kiss I had ever experienced, and I wasn’t sure the photographer caught it. My husband and I are uncomfortable with public displays of affection. For him, our wedding kiss was no exception. Years later, we’re still not into PDA.
Our kids noticed that we weren’t as affectionate outside of the home as some of their friends’ parents. I worried that our lack of PDA made our kids think there was a lack of love. Then I realized that there are lots of ways we show our love. If you’re also not the type to be affectionate in public, here’s how to show your kids you love your spouse in 5 simple ways.
1. We take care of each other.
“Here’s your phone” is something my husband says to me at least twice daily. I’m notorious for setting down my phone and forgetting about it until I can’t find it. So, when my husband sees my phone on top of the washing machine, on the hood of my car, or some other random place, he brings it to me, usually grinning but sometimes rolling his eyes. He could just leave it where I put it and cause me to spend time searching for it. Instead, he takes care of me by rescuing my phone and returning it to its forgetful owner.
It might not be PDA, but kids know their parents are in love when they see them taking care of each other.
2. We do tasks the other person doesn’t like to do.
“He cuts the raw chicken. She makes the doctor appointments.” This should’ve been part of our wedding vows. I don’t like touching raw chicken. So my husband is the chicken cutter in our household. I’m the designated doctor appointment maker in the family because my husband hates calling the doctor’s office.
My husband doesn’t enjoy cutting raw chicken. I’m certainly not entertained by spending time on the phone making appointments. We do those tasks to help each other. If I can do something that makes my husband’s day easier, I should do it. If my husband can do something for me that eases my stress, he will. Doing tasks your spouse doesn’t like shows your kids how you express love through sacrifice and care.
3. We do things the other person enjoys.
I’ve attended many football games at my husband’s alma mater. I don’t cheer for that team. I don’t love football. When my daughter asked me why I go to football games, I told her it’s because I love her dad and enjoy watching him have fun at his favorite activity. My kids see that I want to share something with their dad because it’s important to him, and he’s important to me.
Kids understand that their parents love each other when they see that their parents are open to the experiences their spouse enjoys.
4. We enjoy spending time together.
You know how to show your kids you love your spouse? Prioritize time together, even if it means putting your kids’ needs aside for a while. My friend and her husband both love fishing. It’s no frills, but sneaking off to their favorite fishing hole has helped them connect over their 25 years of marriage. They can slow down and just be together. They even sneak in some time to be affectionate. Their young adult kids tease them about these private outings, but knowing that their parents enjoy being together helps their kids understand the importance of love in a marriage.
5. We are proud of each other.
“Your momma made that,” I overheard a man tell his son in front of a display of handmade quilts at a local festival. On the quilt was a first-place ribbon. The pride this man felt for his wife was evident. He wanted the son to know how talented his mom was. Mom was beaming. Their son was able to see the love and pride in his dad as he bragged about Mom’s achievement.
There are many reasons for husbands and wives to be proud of each other. Career accomplishments, personal goals met, or even getting the last kid potty trained. Not every husband and wife plant big kisses on each other, but when your kids see you beaming at your husband when he’s on the court playing basketball at the Y, they’ll know you’re proud of him and feel the love between you.
What non-physical ways do you show your husband you love him?
