“No running in parking lots!” I shouted ahead to my kids and watched them downshift to speed walking as they raced to see who could touch the car first. Later, at lunch, they competed to see who could pile the sugar packets highest as my husband rooted them on. In my competitive family, everything can be turned into a contest.
If your crew is super competitive and everyone enjoys it, lean in. It’s part of your family identity and can lead to more fun and character-building. Try these 5 ways to embrace your family’s competitive side.
1. Compete for a group win.
If you have a competitive family, not every competition needs to pit you against each other. One of our favorite family game night games is Just One. It’s a cooperative game, so you win or lose as one team. As we play, the banter around the table is often, “ooh, that was a clever answer” and “good thinking” because the goal is gaining points for the whole group.
2. Use competition to reinforce good character.
Even though there were three grades between us, my sister and I were very competitive in school. She got all A’s and a B? I could get all A’s. She was the editor of the paper? I could become the director in TV productions. When my mom noticed bitterness or resentment building, she would remind me of the traits that led my sister to her wins. “Your sister got the position as editor because she is a good writer but also because she encouraged the rest of the staff.”
3. Let your kids compete for character awards. 
Competition can bring out negative character traits like selfishness, impatience, and dishonesty, so be watchful for how it weaves its way through your family life. You can also encourage your kids to compete for awards that recognize good character in them.
Print iMOM’s character awards, and have a monthly ceremony where everyone is recognized for something you’ve noticed. “This month, the Medal of Generosity is awarded to…” Or come up with your own awards, like Most Improved Lawn Mower or Most Likely to Let Someone Else Take the Biggest Cookie.
4. Let the seasons dictate the fun.
Every Halloween, I wait for the text from a friend who asks me to vote for my favorite carved pumpkin. Then, at Christmas, I get one with four gingerbread houses and “Vote for your favorite!” Her family loves competing to see whose holiday creation is crowned the winner. They make great memories around each season and have traditions that will last for generations.
If you have a competitive family, let the natural joy or pace of the season lead you to a fun competition, like a summer reading contest, growing a crop of vegetables in the spring, or an early fall fishing tourney. Just be sure to measure that bass to keep Dad honest.
5. Use competition to bring your family together around the TV.
Growing up, my family had one TV, so every night, we watched Wheel of Fortune at 7 p.m. We’d all sound out the words together (when we weren’t commenting on Vanna’s dress). Today, there are so many screen options that families don’t watch shows together much, but if you have a competitive family, you can use TV as an excuse to go head-to-head.
We love The Amazing Race. We choose who we think will win after watching the first episode. Each week we hold our breaths, wondering if our picks will hang on for another leg of the race. The show gave us great conversation starters like, “Was that cheating?” “What would you have done?” and “I wonder how it felt to keep going when they knew they were in last place.”
Do you have a competitive family? How do you keep competition friendly and encouraging?
