Every parent knows what it’s like to silently assemble a toy or bike late into the night on December 24th. In 2014, I nearly had blisters on my fingers from snapping enough train tracks together to travel around the living room, behind the Christmas tree, under the coffee table and up and down pretend hills and valleys. I wanted Christmas morning to be magical because I knew the following year, my sons would be at their dad’s when they ran out to see what Santa brought.
There’s a lot of self-imposed pressure on parents to make the holidays perfect, and for single parents, I think it’s taken up a few notches. Just as the pressure might be greater, so is the need to savor each moment. But you can’t do that if you’re pulling out your hair. So take a load off with these 5 ideas for Christmas help for single moms to avoid holiday stress.
1. Be in the moment.
I made the mistake one year of letting myself dwell on the ages my kids would be the next time they were at my house on Christmas morning. After being sad for a moment, I got mad at those thoughts for taking away a few moments of joy. Now, when any of those feelings creep in, I look at what’s going on and say a prayer of gratitude. “Thank you, God, that we get to watch Home Alone together.”
Sometimes it’s busyness that zaps us out of the present moment. As you drive around looking at lights and singing carols, don’t worry about what dish you’re bringing to the office potluck. Write down the tasks bouncing around your head so you can focus on being with your kids.
2. Do what matters to you. Don’t do the rest.
“Crackers,” our Elf on the Shelf, lived in our house for one Christmas. Then he decided my sons were well behaved enough that he should go back to the North Pole for a reassignment. Seriously, this elf nearly pushed me over the edge. At the time, I was unmarried, so any overnight mischief he got into was on me. I put my foot down and decided he had to go.
If the elf is what brings you and your kids joy at Christmas, do it. If you love to bake and want to whisk up dozens of cookies, throw on that apron and preheat the oven. If neither of those things matter, let go of the pressure to feel like you have to do them. Do what matters to you, and let go of the rest.
3. Stick to a budget.
Single parents feel pressure to give their kids everything kids of married parents get, maybe more. But your kids don’t measure your love in gifts under the tree. Sure, they make a list and hope to get everything on it, but don’t buy so many presents that you’re in debt until June. Set and stick to a budget that will keep the financial stress at bay.
4. Decide once what presents you’re giving.
This time saver is the perfect kind of Christmas help for single moms. Other than your own kids, put the people you have to buy for into categories: teachers, kids, adult family, adult friends. Pick one item for each category. Maybe for teachers, you buy a gift card; the kids in your life, like nieces and nephews, get a puzzle; adult family members get a calendar you made with your kids’ pictures ushering in every new month; and adult friends get a mason jar filled with the homemade jewelry cleaner you swear makes your earrings sparkle like new.
5. Wrap with friends.
I think people who like wrapping presents are crazy. The measuring, cutting, taping, corner folding… It’s all so tedious, but doing it with friends makes it much more bearable. Many single parents struggle with loneliness during the holidays. If that’s you, a wrapping party will help you fill a need for connection while knocking out the chore.
So pick one friend’s house, and load up the gifts and wrapping supplies in your trunk. Be sure to bring a blanket to cover them up in case your kids like to snoop. You and your friends can share supplies, use each other’s handwriting to disguise Santa’s signature, and, of course, pass the time with great conversation.
What suggestions for Christmas help for single moms can you add?
