The four of us stood on a street corner in a tiny tourist town trying to decide which way to turn. “We could check out this bookstore,” I suggested, eyeballing the pretty hardcovers in the window. “It’s about lunchtime,” my husband said. “Shouldn’t we start looking for food?” I checked my watch. He was right. I unfolded the map and led the way in search of the perfect meal. After perusing about a dozen menus, my husband told me the last three restaurants looked just fine. Couldn’t I just pick one? “Hmm,” I murmured. “Why don’t we go back to that burger place?” At that moment, raindrops started to fall. “Which one?” he growled.
Searching for a place to eat always ended up being the worst part of vacation. My husband and I just had different tastes. Do you and your husband bicker sometimes on trips? Here are 9 tips to avoid fighting on vacation so you can have way more fun.
1. Establish roles before you leave.
If you can decide who does what before you depart, it’ll make things go smoother when you’re crunched for time. Not only that, you’ll avoid blaming each other if something goes wrong.
Most of the time, my husband navigates while I drive. At a campground, he pitches the tent while the kids and I gather firewood. When we’re at a hotel, my husband checks us in while I park and unload the kids. It works when we both know what we need to do.
2. Research activities and restaurants ahead of time.
On family vacations, I like to research the fun places that appeal to the kids. Before we went to Toronto a few years ago, my husband found a great Thai place he wanted us to try.
Having a plan mapped out can save a lot of time. Plus, there’s less chance of bickering in front of the kids and more time to have fun together.
3. Establish a budget for daily expenses.
To avoid fighting on vacation, my husband and I have in the past agreed to stick to a budget. No three-star Michelin restaurants! Hoofing it rather than hailing a cab also seems reasonable in good weather.
Establishing a budget greatly eliminates those last-minute impulses that cause squabbles. (Pandora bracelet, I’m looking at you!)
4. Anticipate what could go wrong and prepare.
No one’s ever accused me of under-packing. Gray cloud in the forecast? Four raincoats are in the trunk. But what happens if our car breaks down or we lose our luggage?
One 10-minute conversation with your husband the night before you leave could be all you need. Avoiding the finger wag of “I told you so!” or “Didn’t you pack the…?” might be worth it.
5. Factor in some downtime.
One of my most vivid memories of Orlando eons ago doesn’t include Mickey Mouse, but rather the outdoor hotel pool, playing with my sister. I think all the go-go-go at the park left us little time to just goof around and be kids.
My husband likes to pack 14 hours into 12, but for the sake of my sore feet (and any arguments about said feet), I know we always need to schedule downtime to unwind.
6. Be flexible if things go wrong.
Sometimes it’s hard to sleep well in a strange bed. Other times, vacation food causes uncomfortable tummy rumbles.
To avoid fighting on vacation, be prepared to flex. When I got sick in the Bahamas, my husband’s sympathy, and his willingness to spend the next day reading by the pool, made it easier for me to stomach my guilt for missing our snorkeling adventure.
7. Compromise on activities.
Before having kids, my husband’s ideal vacation would involve hiking, eating a packed lunch, hiking some more, and then pitching a tent somewhere in the backcountry. There’d probably be warning signs for grizzly bears too. To me, that sounds like something I’d only do for prize money on a reality show I’d never apply for in the first place.
These days, with kids in tow, we have to compromise. A morning for a short hike, the afternoon for sightseeing in town. And maybe a stuffed bear for each of the kids.
8. Get enough sleep.
We all know how important sleep is to avoid fighting on vacation (or anywhere else). Have a drink with your husband after the kids go to bed, but make sure you get enough shut-eye.
I’ve made the mistake of reserving a campsite near the restroom and you know what? People run those hand dryers all hours of the night. There’s nothing worse than being woken up 17 times by what sounds like a plane taking off next to your tent.
9. Be ready to apologize.
It’s humbling, but it gets you both talking again. And then it gets you sightseeing and making your next family memory!
What other advice do you have to avoid fighting on vacation?
