How did this happen? When did May become the month when every weekend is booked and the obligations keep rolling in? I’m used to the mayhem of December, and I’ve got my coping mechanism (Another Hallmark movie? Yes, please!). But May? No one warns a mom that this is the actual month that will drive you to the point of insanity. And what cruel person decided to put Mother’s Day smack in the middle? Yes, Maycember is here, and it’s taking no prisoners.
The other kicker is that a lot of the things that happen in May are important—graduations, end-of-the-year awards, wrap-up meetings—so it’s hard to say no. But you can get to May 31st with your peace and sanity. Here are 5 ways to do it.
1. Name your priorities.
If everything feels important, consider the imagery of rocks in a jar: Your most important things are big rocks, and everything else is a tiny pebble. If you put the big rocks in the jar first, the tiny pebbles can fill in the extra space that’s left. But if you put the tiny pebbles in first, there’s no way the big rocks will fit.
Some of the stress of Maycember comes from thinking everything is a big rock and trying to force it all into your jar. That’s when we end up double-booking ourselves and rushing from one obligation to the next, giving neither our attention. Give space to what’s most important, and let the rest fill in where it might fit.
2. Shift what you can to a slower month.
My women’s group at church is made up of ladies of all ages. We were planning an event, and one woman who has kids in their 30s suggested late May for the date. “It’s a slow month. Just Memorial Day.” One of the other moms of younger kids like mine shouted, “No! May is crazy!”
If some of the things that are stacking up in your life in Maycember aren’t directly tied to May, consider moving them. I know one couple who celebrates their “quarter-anniversary” in August. It’s not the same as celebrating the actual date in May, but it allows them to focus on each other instead of just squeezing in a date amidst the rest of the chaos of the month.
3. Decide and move on.
I waited until the last minute to RSVP to a friend’s wedding one May because I didn’t want to accept that I couldn’t make it. I spent a month trying to figure out how to make it work with my kids’ schedules, and that just piled stress on top of the guilt I was feeling.
In Maycember, don’t let lingering decisions take more mental space than they need. Decide and move on. Are you RSVP’ing yes or no? What gift card are you getting for teacher gifts? Your daughter’s wearing her white dress for graduation? Great. Don’t look back.
4. Remember, Maycember is a season.
There will come a time in your life when you’ll have no award banquets, games, or plays to attend. There won’t be any exams to help your kids cram for or graduation parties to juggle. This season is temporary, so instead of wishing you could skip over the chaos of May, embrace it.
Ignore the mess you have to leave in the sink, eat fast food in your car on the way to the next event, and notice the twinkle in your daughter’s eye as she shows off the ribbons she got for making an A in art and science. These days are hard, but they’re fleeting.
5. Acknowledge your complicated feelings.
“Why are you crying, Mom?” Those words are probably spoken more in May than any other month. Year after year, we cheer and snap photos and congratulate our kids on another year in the books, but on the inside, we’re thinking, “How is it possible that my baby is this old?”
When we’re busiest, we tend to shove down feelings that distract us. But it’s healthy to acknowledge that happy and sad emotions both deserve space in our hearts. Endings are tough, but getting to experience new beginnings with our children is a gift to cherish, too.
What makes Maycember craziest for you?
