I have a kid who starts worrying about the new school year when we’re halfway through the summer. We’ll spend a long day at the pool, but then he’ll have fall classes on his mind at night. I’m glad he talks to me about his worries, but I want him to be able to relax over summer break without jumping to what’s several weeks ahead.
Though some kids with more serious anxiety may benefit from talking to a counselor, keeping the back-to-school nerves at bay for most kids is manageable. Here are 7 ways to ward off kids’ back-to-school anxiety.
1. Stay in the present.
For a child who has back-to-school anxiety, keeping his thoughts in the present will help. Avoid statements like “We need to start getting to bed earlier because school’s around the corner!” or “Let’s save that outfit for the first week of school.” I realized I made statements like these all the time, contributing to my son’s worries. So, I’m resolving to be more aware of my words to help my child enjoy his summer.
Keep your child’s back-to-school anxiety low by taking one day at a time. Notice the sights and sounds around you—like that woodpecker on the telephone pole or the neighbor’s lawnmower. And don’t remind them of what’s around the corner or the struggles that lie ahead.
2. Help your child curb negative thinking.
Does your child have self-doubt? Does she worry about who’ll be in her class or who she’ll sit with at lunch? Maybe she has back-to-school anxiety about her academic work?
When you catch your child saying negative things, step in to show her how to be more realistic. (“You struggled in math last year, but that doesn’t mean this year will be the same.”) And help her to replace negative statements like “I’m not going to have anyone to sit with in class” with positive ones to rewrite the narrative. (“I’m a friendly kid.”) With a little effort and a bit of hope, kids can push negative thinking aside.
3. Teach coping strategies.
As a teacher, I too got back-to-school anxiety at the end of every summer. What helps for kids and grownups alike is learning coping strategies. If I’m feeling stressed, I like to get outside. I try to encourage my kids to do the same. It’s a quick way to decrease stress and improve mood. Being active can also provide needed stress relief and improve mental health.
So have your child head outdoors. Shooting hoops, walking the dog, and riding a bike will all help to decrease stress and provide a needed distraction too.
4. Don’t go supply shopping too early.
Do you ever notice how some stores start their “Back-to-School” sales around the Fourth of July? Boxes of pencils get stacked next to beach towels and barbecue supplies. Because it always triggered my nerves as a kid to see such displays, I wait until the last minute to go school shopping.
To reduce unnecessary back-to-school anxiety, leave your kids at home or order what you need online. A friend of mine hits sales throughout the year and usually has a stack of classroom supplies along with new shorts and T-shirts at the ready each fall. What would work best for your child?
5. Put a fun activity on the calendar the weekend before school starts.
This year, our family’s going to head to the big amusement park a couple hours away. I know my daughter will look forward to that and maybe forget about the first day of school. What would your child look forward to? Maybe you’ll head to that beach you never go to but always say you will. Or maybe you’ll try canoeing for the first time. It could just be something your family enjoys but doesn’t do very often, like bowling, going to a roller rink, or visiting the zoo.
6. Keep the summer going as long as possible.
Repeat after me: “I will not hang a ‘Welcome Fall’ sign until September 21.” And “I will not buy a pumpkin until the calendar says October.” Enjoy the summer as long as you can to help your child forget about going back to school. Light some sparklers on a random weekday and fire up the grill even if the evenings have gotten nippy. I’m going to let my kids run barefoot in the yard and track grass into my kitchen. Yep. It’s a summer thing, and once they’re in school each day, they’ll have shoes on. So, I want them to relish the remaining days of summer.
7. Plan a celebration for the first week of school.
Our local ice cream shop is always packed Friday afternoon of the first week of school. It’s time to celebrate! Usually, by then, the nerves have disappeared and going to school has already become just a thing we do. Make the end of the first week special. Ice cream’s great, but maybe your kids want to go fishing or order pizza for dinner!
Do you get back-to-school anxiety as a mom even though you’re not going back to school? If so, why do you think that is?
