“I got rid of my car wash subscription today,” I sulkily told my husband. He knew I loved going through the car wash and jokingly called it my “happy place.” Because I spent so much time driving kids around, going through the car wash helped me feel neat, clean, and a little more put together. But we needed to eliminate any extra expenses, and the car wash subscription was one of them.
When you’re in a financially tight season, it suddenly seems like everything you can’t have is staring you in the face, and it’s easy to become pouty, bitter, or jealous of others. But with a slight shift, you can learn to survive this season more gracefully. Here are 3 things to help you do that.
1. Make a “We get to…” list and keep it visible.
When money is tight, it’s easy to focus on the things we don’t get rather than on what we do get. After I canceled my car wash subscription, every time I saw my dirty car, I felt a little more bitter about my financial situation. But how about being thankful that I even have a nice car? Where had my gratitude gone? I needed a shift in my mindset to focus on what I had rather than what I didn’t have.
Try creating a “We get to…” list. It might be hard to start, but once you get the ball rolling, you’ll smile as you see the blessings listed. Include the whole family by putting your list in a visible place and asking your kids and husband to add to it! Our first list included: “We get to drive two nice cars that are already paid off, live in a neighborhood full of friends, and take music lessons every week.”
2. Remember, it’s not just you.
Although social media will try to fool you, not everyone is living in financial bliss, taking a vacation every month and buying their kids everything they want! Going through financially challenging seasons is extremely common—it’s just not commonly shared.
Talk to a trusted friend about how you’re feeling, and she’ll likely reassure you that we all go through these times. Unexpected things happen to everyone—the loss of a job, health issues, and seasons of life that are just more expensive than others. (The grocery bill for four teenagers, for example! Are they ever full?) Even my parents recently shared that we went through financial ups and downs when I was growing up, and I didn’t even know it.
3. Repeat after me: “I am not depriving my kids.”
Sometimes I feel the worst about saying no to our kids. When we couldn’t afford things like Disney cruises, expensive shoes, or concert tickets, I felt like I was depriving them. My perspective on this changed about three years ago when we adopted a 14-year-old. Her basic needs were often not met during her childhood. She didn’t have a toothbrush for months at a time, and she walked to school through busy streets by herself when she was only 7.
And here she is, 17 years old and so grateful for three meals a day, a bed with clean sheets and blankets, and parents who are present every day and every night. Our other kids have had these things since they were born, so they don’t know what it’s like to live without them. It’s easy to take them for granted and see them as less valuable. You’re giving your kids everything they need and more.
How do you survive financially hard times gracefully?
