“Can we stop for Starbucks?”
“Can I go skiing with my friends?”
“I need to go to the craft store for my project.”
“Can we get ice cream on the way home?”
Can you just hear the debit card swiping away? I currently have three teenagers, and while they were expensive as kids, at least most of the expenses were my idea. And nothing prepared me for how much fast food they would ask for at this age. Nothing.
It’s forced me to ask, as it may have for you, “Should I make my teenager get a job to help pay for all this stuff?” And while every teenager and situation is unique, here are three questions to ask that can help any mom answer with confidence.
1. Does your teen need a reminder about wants vs. needs?
Generally, parents provide for a child’s needs while wants are earned. We try to teach young kids this concept because we don’t want them to become Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka. But any parent of a teenager will tell you teens care more about their appearance, want certain foods, and want to do fun things with friends. In an effort to keep them happy, we can easily slip into a habit of overindulging them, which leaves us tapped out.
At times, a teen can lose sight of the difference between wants and needs. He needs shoes that fit. He doesn’t need the new On Clouds that run $150. If he wants the On Clouds, it might be time to get a job to pay the difference. It needs to be said, however, that sometimes teens need to get jobs because their parents can’t afford to pay for their needs. We live in an expensive world, and many teens need to work for legitimate financial reasons. The benefit of is a sense of pride and accomplishment as these teens work hard to contribute to the family. They typically understand the difference between wants and needs very well.
2. Does your teen have time in this season?
Two of my teens got jobs at the same restaurant last summer. When school started in the fall, they continued to work a couple days a week. One of them was able to balance working and going to school while the other one struggled a lot. I began to realize the academic load, extracurriculars, and time management skills were very different for each of them and encouraged my stressed-out teen to quit her job for a while. It simply wasn’t healthy for her, and we had to prioritize school and health over making money.
Each year, each season, may offer a different amount of free time for your teen. Our overachievers sometimes need to be encouraged to back off during the school year, while our less-involved teens need to be encouraged to take on more hours. Making this a routine discussion with your teen will help him or her to learn to evaluate time and priorities in each season, which is a great skill to carry into adulthood.
3. Does your teen need a lesson in money management and responsibility?
The reason behind the question—”Should I make my teenager get a job?”—might not be financial. Do you have a teen who’s around 16 and dying for a car or planning to go to college, while spending every bit of his birthday or Christmas money on the extras? If so, your teen may need a refresher on what it means to earn, save, and spend. Big ticket items take months, if not years, of saving. Teens live very much in the here and now, thinking “I can save for that later.” But “later” is closer than they think.
Help your teen learn to save by earning a paycheck and learning to save a percentage of it every week. Many bank apps now have great features right within the app to help them do this, even with direct deposit. And when the time comes to purchase a car or pay that first college bill, your teen will have a sense of pride, ownership, and appreciation that other teens might not have.
Do you think teenagers need to get jobs? Why or why not?
