I learned a lot during the toddler years. I learned I could carry a screaming child out of a store and remain calm. I learned that a kid’s world would seem to be ending if her chicken nugget touched the mac and cheese. I learned that 2-year-olds make the best snugglers until about 2 a.m. Then, look out for the donkey kicks. And I learned that mom burnout happens to the best of us.
Croup gave me my first (but not last) glimpse of mom burnout. Or, to be more precise, back-to-back-to-back bouts of croup with our youngest left me exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotionally drained. During certain times as moms, we can feel like we’ve nothing left to give. If you struggle with mom burnout, try applying these 12 lessons picked up during the toddler years.
1. Slow down.
You can’t go anywhere fast with toddlers. The walk to your car, which should take two minutes, suddenly stretches to 10. And getting buckled up adds another 15 minutes. Toddlers like to take things slow, and maybe you could, too, every once in a while. What’s the rush?
2. Take a nap.
During the toddler stage, you learn firsthand that toddlers handle the afternoon much better after a nap. A child’s body needs physical rest, and so does yours. Embrace the mom nap! The world won’t end if you do it. I promise.
3. Snuggle with a blankie.
Our youngest loved to rub her blankie’s smooth, cool silk back and forth on her cheek while she fell asleep. Snuggling with “pinky” soothed her senses and calmed her thoughts. When you feel zapped at the end of the day, wrap up in a cozy blankie to recover. It’s scientifically proven to help.
4. Wear comfy clothes.
Left to their own devices, many toddlers will dress like it’s Thanksgiving—stretchy pants with lots of give and a colorful shirt that hides stains. It doesn’t matter if the outfit matches. Toddlers just wear what makes them feel good. When you’re feeling the impact of mom burnout, opt to do the same.
5. Dance and sing.
Toddlers love a good dance party with a side of karaoke. Singing out loud and dancing releases endorphins, which decrease stress and anxiety. One research study even showed that dance helps people positively cope with anxiety and depression.
6. Never say no to Play-Doh.
Somewhere between toddlerhood and adulthood, we’ve forgotten how much joy we can receive by doing something artsy. We think that since we’re “not good at it,” then what’s the point? Well, the point is that art activities reduce stress and give your emotions a creative outlet.
7. Let yourself cry.
Toddlers feel big emotions and express them in, well, big ways. They don’t know how to suppress their feelings. Crying is a coping mechanism that flushes out stress hormones and releases chemicals to ease physical and emotional pain. So, while there’s no cryin’ in baseball, no one said there’s no cryin’ in mommyhood.
8. Go for the hug.
When a toddler gets a boo-boo, a hug from Mom soothes the pain. If that hug lasts for at least 20 seconds, the body releases the “cuddle hormone,” also known as oxytocin, which calms and relaxes the central nervous system. So, hug your spouse, your child, or even your dog. You’ll feel better.
9. Play with your friends.
Toddlers know it feels good to hang out and play with friends. You explore new places. Share toys. Act silly. Maybe even get some ice cream. It’s just fun to be around other people who like to be around you, too.
10. Take a break from playing with friends.
Playing with friends can be great until it becomes just too much. Sharing, taking turns, and being kind takes a lot out of a toddler—and out of adults. That’s a good time to step away for some downtime to recharge.
11. Notice the little things.
If it’s small and within a toddler’s line of sight, he’ll point it out—the ladybug on the blade of grass or the single LEGO brick under the couch. Being acutely aware of the little things in your surroundings focuses your attention on the present moment and gives your brain a break from anxious thoughts. This mindfulness practice helps with mom burnout.
12. Get outside.
Fresh air goes a long way to lift a mood. Step outside and look up. Do you see that narwhal cloud next to the pirate ship? Why does the sky look so blue this time of year? Being outside leads you to think about something bigger than yourself and your problems. It’s good for the soul.
If you feel like you’re struggling with more than mom burnout and want to speak to a licensed professional counselor, you can find one here.
What life lesson have you learned from a toddler?
