Who’s gotten a bonus gift or two with motherhood? And I don’t mean a pretty gold necklace or flowers. I’m talking about hemorrhoids or stretch marks. Extra weight or larger feet. Fallen arches or hair loss. I’m the lucky recipient of painful varicose veins. I had to wear prescription pantyhose throughout both of my pregnancies and for an additional six months following. I’ll spare you the rest of the details, but trust me, going to the beach offered an entirely new lesson in humility. But for all the physical pain childbirth brings and the sometimes-lasting damage it does, there’s one part of our bodies that benefits from growing and birthing another human being. And this bonus gift I’ll gladly take. Ready for it? Our brains get smarter.
We may have to pray our stretch marks or hemorrhoids go away, but I’ll gladly take the extra neural activity as a consolation prize. So don’t feel bad putting up your swollen feet to enjoy a book or round of Wordle. Your shiny, new mom brain would probably thank you for it. Here are 5 ways being a mom has made you smarter.
1. You’re better at learning new things.
Being a new mom feels like struggling through an upper-level college course with no prerequisite. It’s super challenging with lots of late nights, but somehow, we do it. We learn to be moms. We get the help we need through friends or books to get the best results we possibly can because another life depends on us. According to journalist Jamie Friedlander Serrano, after the baby is born, there are “increases in some brain areas including the prefrontal cortex, which controls planning, learning and emotional regulation.” And to me, that makes sense. We’re figuring out motherhood, studying another little person and how to care for him. And our brains have rewired themselves to help us do it well.
2. You have a stronger memory.
“Have you seen my phone?” I shouted to my husband. In the next room, I heard him grumble, “Not again.” But since becoming parents, it seemed like I couldn’t remember where I’d placed things. According to Dr. Tirum Gopal, an OBGYN in Philadelphia, forgetfulness postpartum is normal and more likely due to a lack of sleep. Our brains are actually not more sluggish. They’re sharper. “’[Women] have such a high surge of estrogen and progesterone during pregnancy that it sharpens their ability to think and clearly memorize.” I like the sound of that. But in order to benefit from our new mom brains, it sounds like we also need to prioritize sleep.
3. You’re better at recognizing the emotions in others.
“I’m going in,” I growled to my husband, leaping over the air-filled guardrail as the huge inflatable bounce house shifted with the extra weight. “You need to be careful!” I shouted to the big kid about to shove past my son on the inflated ladder. According to Adam Franssen, a biology professor who has done research on the mom brain, “Mothers are able to recognize hostility, disgust, fear or the types of emotions that would trigger some sort of danger to their offspring.” The kid glanced at me but then slowly skirted around my toddler on his way to the top. I exhaled with relief.
4. You’re better equipped to handle stressful situations.
The day my daughter decided to enter the world coincided with a nor’easter hitting the East Coast. Police rerouted us through the city because the main thoroughfare had flooded. Imagine the sky dark and our windshield wipers going full tilt as we bumped over winding, cobblestone streets. By the time we arrived, I was six centimeters dilated! Yet, I felt excited more than anything. The swirling police lights, thunder, and pelting rain added to my exhilaration. Franssen says, “Mothers are less stressed out when you put them in a stress-inducing situation. They don’t show as much fear.” Serrano’s findings concur: “Pregnant women and new moms often are better than nonpregnant women at … riding out stressful events like earthquakes.” Hurricanes too!
5. Your instincts for providing are sharpened.
We sat on a hill at the park, the sun brilliant and hot. I realized then that I’d forgotten my baby’s sippy cup. As she sat, blinking beneath her sunhat, I helped her sip from my water bottle. Her pudgy hands clasped the bottle—her first time without a sippy lid! But hydrating her had been my priority. Franssen’s research indicates that becoming a mother heightens our ability to care for our babies. Maybe it’s the new brain size. “You can actually look and find neurons that are bigger in mothers than in non-mothers,” Franssen says. “There are large differences in the number of neurons that are firing.” Sounds impressive. Maybe the brain’s new functioning ability is another of God’s gifts, giving us a boost when we need it most.
Have you noticed changes to your mom brain as your child has grown? What are they?
