“Oh no, oh no!” I repeated as I stared at the bare kitchen counter. As I was going through the morning routine, I noticed that the dog’s medicine, which had been next to mine, was gone. Disappeared.
I’d taken it. At least I was about 80 percent sure I had. It wasn’t on the floor and the dog was still in her crate. I quickly grabbed the pill bottle. It was just an allergy pill for a 30-pound dog. Surely that would be OK for a human, right? I knew it was a sign—a big flashing sign saying, “Mom burnout!”
Moms, we’ve heard so much about the importance of self-care. But part of self-care is knowing how spent we are and being able to see our threshold approaching. If we don’t, we suddenly explode, or cry, or take the dog’s medicine.
To help prevent total mom burnout, look for these 9 signs that you might be reaching your threshold, and find out how to step back and care for yourself.
1. You are over-sensitive to sounds.
According to EverydayHealth.com, a recent study showed that women who are exhausted can be hypersensitive to sound. So if normal conversation seems uncomfortably loud, traffic noise is upsetting you, or your ears are pulsing with everyday sounds, it can be a sign that you’re reaching your limit.
2. You do absent-minded or clumsy things.
Well, we all do this sometimes, but when you take the dog’s medicine and don’t even really remember doing it, that’s a sign. When you try to drop your kid off at a sleepover party a month early (another true story), yeah, that’s also a sign. When you’ve fallen down the stairs three times in one day, yep, you get the idea!
3. Looking at your calendar puts you in a cold sweat.
If adding to your calendar (or just looking at it) gives you anxiety, then it may be a sign that you’re reaching mom burnout—specifically with how you’re spending your time. If you look at your calendar and think, “I’ll never get a minute to myself,” don’t just brush that off.
4. You’re falling asleep in the wrong places.
Are you nodding off while waiting in the carpool line? C’mon, be honest. I’ve done it. Are you falling asleep in the waiting room at the doctor’s office? If you are, and the floor suddenly looks very comfortable to you, it’s a sign! Your body is telling you it needs rest, and soon.
5. You’re looking for an escape.
Reaching for your phone more often, endlessly scrolling through Instagram, craving wine, binging Netflix… What’s your escape? Many women don’t even realize they’re doing it. But it can be a sign that you’re experiencing stress and reaching out for some relief.
6. You can’t be intimate with your husband.
We all know the feeling. You’ve got so much on your mind that you just can’t switch gears or even relax enough to be intimate with your husband. Nope. Not happening. This is normal from time to time, but when you see it becoming a pattern, it could be a sign of burnout.
7. You’re extra emotional.
It’s like having PMS when it’s not that time of the month—crying or feeling angry about relatively small things, blowing up at people, or being very indecisive. There’s nothing wrong with you—your body is just saying, “Hey, I’m at my limit.”
8. You can’t seem to pinpoint what you need help with.
Have you ever been so overwhelmed that you don’t know what you should be doing first, so you’re just sort of paralyzed? Or maybe your husband asks what you need help with, but you can’t find the right words to answer him. Other times you don’t reach out for help because you can’t think of who to ask or what to ask for.
9. You start to think bitter thoughts.
When you start to think negative thoughts about the people around you, like, “My husband sleeps way more than I do, and he never offers to take the kids to school,” pay special attention. Bitter thoughts are signs of overextension and unmet needs—which both contribute to mom burnout.
Here’s what to do when you feel mom burnout approaching.
Moms, it’s not good for us or our families when we don’t see that we’re about to hit mom burnout like a brick wall. Think about which of these signs apply to you. Notice them. And the next time you see them happening, do these three things: First, ask yourself what you need right now. Is it sleep? Time alone? A therapy session? Help problem-solving? Next, put yourself at the top of your priority list at the very first possible opportunity, even if that means canceling some things. And lastly, let go of any guilty feelings you may have about taking time for yourself.
What are your typical signs of mom burnout?
