My daughter’s face lit up. “In science class today, we played Jenga.” I sat down on the bed next to her. “What are you doing playing games in class?” I asked, teasing her. “The towers are like buildings in an earthquake,” she explained. “And I was the earthquake.” I smiled, listening to her talk about her day. A few minutes later, with her covers pulled up to her chin, my daughter told me I’d forgotten to pack a spoon in her lunchbox. “I just drank the soup,” she said with a shrug, and I kissed her cheek. My daughter opened this huge window into her life at bedtime. Delay tactic? Maybe. But I didn’t want to close it too quickly.
Even though I’m tired, I love the last chunk of the day with the kids. Bedtime is when everything slows down and often, it’s when the good stuff comes out. Spending extra minutes at bedtime with your children comes easily when they’re little, but don’t give up on it when they’re 8, 12, or teenage. Make it a habit to spend one-on-one time with your kids each night. Here are 5 ways bedtime for kids is the best quality time to spend with them.
1. You learn more about your child.
“Can we watch that Marvel movie next weekend?” my son asked from beneath his covers. It was Monday night. With the curtains closed in his room, I could only see the outline of his face, but I got a glimpse into my 14-year-old’s mind. He likes to plan ahead. I’m glad he can tell me these things so I can plan ahead too and help.
Hearing about my child’s priorities or what motivates him is useful information. So, sitting in his room at night is good for both of us because I learn more about him and can help where it’s needed.
2. You keep the communication lines open.
“I miss Natalie,” my then 10-year-old said one night. She had sleepiness in her voice and a bit of sadness too. “I wish she hadn’t moved.” I’d thought she’d had a good day at school with some new friends, so it surprised me to hear her talk about Natalie. “Evie wanted my juice box today,” she continued. “I let her have it. She always wants something from my lunchbox.” I sighed. Good to know.
Sometimes, at night, kids are better able to talk about their feelings or the nitty-gritty of the day. When we’re moving from one thing to the next after school, it’s hard to really delve into the day. One-on-one time at bedtime works. It’s time to catch up with your child and give her the opportunity to relax, trust in you, and talk.
3. You’re able to resolve problems that cropped up during the day.
A bit aggravated by my daughter’s disobedience one evening, I went into her room. Immediately, she sat up in bed and threw her arms around me—her way of apologizing. “No reading in bed tonight,” I said. She nodded, accepting her punishment as I rubbed her back.
When I was little, my mom said we should never go to bed angry. She compared our hearts to a garden. If we went to bed with resentment and anger, weeds would grow. Though it’s not always easy, I try to end the day with our household at peace. I don’t want resentment to grow overnight and harden into something more difficult to resolve in the morning. As any gardener knows, some weeds are tough to pull up. And they like to multiply.
4. You both benefit from hugs and cuddles.
My 14-year-old son’s a hugger. I know I’m lucky. He truly gives the best hugs with the right amount of firmness and the perfect amount of time. But try getting a hug on the sidewalk when neighbors could be peering out their windows and he’ll move two feet away and continue the walk at a safe distance. Don’t even ask what he’d do if we were outside his school building.
When kids are sleepy, however, they’re not so worried about what’s cool. Their guard is down and reaching for a hug is often met without a second thought. Hugs and cuddles send feel-good hormones both ways and when I leave my kid’s room, I’m feeling loved just as I know he is too.
5. You get time to talk about faith and to pray.
I loved it when my mom sat on the edge of my bed. She taught me my bedtime prayers and now I do the same with my kids. The other night, as I sat on my daughter’s bed, she told me her science teacher’s mom was sick. “Can we pray for her?” she asked, and so we did.
Without screens, friends, or places to be, you have your child’s undivided attention, and she has yours. Bedtime for kids is an opportunity to remind them of God’s goodness and to give Him thanks for all He has done. Teaching faith to my kids is important to me and what better way to end the day than in prayer?
How do you make bedtime for kids special?
