As soon as our oldest daughter started 10th grade, so did the questions from everyone about life after high school: What do you want to do when you grow up? What do you want to major in? Where do you want to go to college? Why don’t you have the next 30 years of your life figured out?!
OK. So no one actually asked Emerson that last question. But, to our then 15-year-old, each time she answered “I don’t know,” her stress skyrocketed. She felt like she should clearly see her next steps. And since she didn’t, she also felt like a failure. Emerson’s experience isn’t unique. Most teenagers have no idea how to answer those questions. If that’s your child, too, here are 5 ideas to help your teen figure out life after high school.
1. Dream with her.
As moms, we want our kids to grow into happy, confident, and capable adults who support themselves financially. A clear career path plays into a successful launch strategy. That’s probably why so much of post-graduation questioning centers around what kind of career goals teenagers set for themselves. However, that’s only part of your teen’s future life. Show you support her dreams, too.
Lead her to think about what brings her personal fulfillment and gives her purpose. What kind of life does she want as an adult? Where does she want to live? What does she want to do in her free time? Is travel important to her, or does she prefer to stay close to home base? Does she want to volunteer or continue pursuing a current hobby or talent? Does she prefer a fixed or flexible work schedule? What about a family? Help your daughter focus less on what she might want to DO and more on who she wants to BE.
2. Connect him with trusted mentors.
Ever notice how your teen embraces the wisdom of his favorite teacher or coach but questions the exact same advice when it comes from you? It’s totally normal, Mom, and part of his quest for independence. Support his need for autonomy—and help him figure out life after high school—by connecting him with trusted mentors who align with your family’s values and beliefs. Consider asking a family friend or relative, youth group leader, teacher, or coach to take on this role.
Mentors can show your teen that the path to a life of purpose and responsibility takes shape in different ways. Beyond academic knowledge, a mentor can offer life lessons, practical skills, and personal growth experiences. Plus, a mentor provides a supportive space for your teen to ask questions, explore interests, and set goals, fostering self-confidence and motivation. Through a mentor’s guidance, your teen can develop a broader perspective on what’s possible in life and widen his circle of people who believe in him!
3. Affirm her.
Confirm that she doesn’t need to have it all figured out at 16 or 18 or even 25. Her interests and talents will evolve as she experiences life after high school. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.
And contrary to what she might believe, a career decision that she makes right after high school—such as picking a college major, opting for a certification program, or heading straight into the workforce—won’t bind her to that choice forever. She can change her mind again and again. Most adults do! The average adult changes jobs more than 12 times. You can even try putting that in her terms: Taylor Swift racked up more than 10 eras before she turned 33! She continues to evolve professionally, and so will your teen.
4. Quiz him.
Between ACT, SAT, AP exams, and regular ol’ school summatives, your teenager might be thinking the last thing he needs is another test to take. Well, this one is different! Career and guidance counselors recommend the O*NET Interest Profiler to help teenagers uncover how their personal interests and personalities can align with specific career paths.
Through a series of 60 questions, the O*NET measures six types of occupational interests and links them with specific careers:
- Realistic (hands, tools, machines)
- Investigative (research and technology)
- Artistic (creative and performing arts)
- Social (helping, teaching, nurturing)
- Enterprising (leadership and social influence)
- Conventional (data, organization, business)
It’s a fun thing to do and talk about together. Go ahead! Take the quiz with your teen and uncover new opportunities to explore further.
5. Release your own expectations.
Your hopes and dreams for your child might differ from his. You aren’t meant to live your child’s life for him. As your child enters young adulthood, he’ll make mistakes, take paths you’d rather he avoid, and maybe even change jobs (or majors) more frequently than you’d like. It’s all part of him growing up and discovering who he is.
You’ve given your teen a strong foundation that will keep him grounded in adulthood. Your continued emotional and relational support will foster a healthy relationship with your child long after he walks across the stage to receive his high school diploma.
What’s your best tip for helping a teen figure out life after high school?
