My daughter used to cry and push us apart every time my husband and I kissed in front of her. We always thought it was kind of funny and cute, and we would keep kissing until she would notice us and shove her little body between ours. A year later, we’re still kissing in front of our kids, but now our daughter smiles and laughs behind her hand when she catches us. Our PDAs just needed a little getting used to.
It’s important for kids to see their parents kiss and hold hands. They need to know that their parents are more than just roommates. Kids are constantly taking notes, absorbing everything they see, and logging information for future use. Here are 3 lessons kids learn when their parents exchange PDA in front of the family.
1. PDA helps your kids learn what romantic love is.
I love my husband and my kids, but I don’t love them the same way. When my kids see physical affection between my husband and me, they see one thing that sets romantic love apart from other kinds of love. When your kids watch you kiss on the lips and intertwine fingers in public, they can see that your love is set apart. Even if they hold your hand and get a kiss from you, they will sense the difference and start to understand that not all relationships are equal or should be treated the same way.
2. PDA provides your kids with a sense of security.
When my husband and I argue in front of our kids, we make sure to hug when we make up. Kids don’t always understand the words parents say to tell one another everything is OK. But when your kids see you hugging or kissing, they interpret it to mean you love each other. Our kids can see that arguing and affection are both parts of healthy marriages, and they can feel safe knowing that Mom and Dad always kiss and make up at the end. Beyond fighting and making up, parents who show PDA in front of their family nonverbally reinforce the message that they are in love, which makes kids feel secure.
3. PDA shows kids that physical love is not “gross” or “bad.”
My kids might have thought it was gross when my husband kissed me, but that didn’t stop us from doing it. We are not ashamed of our love, so we don’t hide it. If we do, we run the risk of our kids thinking physical affection is bad or meant to be kept a secret. Kids who never see affection between their parents might feel confused when they want to hug and kiss their boyfriends and girlfriends, or even ashamed when they are expected to do those things as newlyweds. Showing affection in front of your kids tells them physical love is nothing to be ashamed of.
What are your favorite ways to be romanced by your husband?
