My 14-year-old daughter is in a leadership club at our local YMCA, and she came home all abuzz one night with what she thought was brand-new information. She was talking a mile a minute about budgeting, and I really think she believed she was telling me about something I’d never heard of—OR NEVER HAD PREVIOUSLY DISCUSSED WITH HER. When I finally got a word in, I said something to the effect of, “Yeah, I know. I’ve told you all those same things before.”
As parents, we’re usually the most consistent influence on our kids, but they don’t always want to hear what we have to say. Or maybe they just don’t listen in the same way. Instead of taking it personally, I’ve been reflecting on the benefits of having multiple positive influences in the lives of my children. Perhaps there are some perks to having our kids listen to other adults talk about certain subjects. Would you consider welcoming others who can talk to your kids about these 5 topics?
1. Money
I’ll never forget when I graduated from college and my grandpa had a formal sit-down with me to talk about money and investing. Even though I was incredibly intimidated, I took every word he said to heart. I’m sure my parents had given me similar advice, but I probably just nodded and dismissed their expertise because I was in a naïve stage—I felt like showing independence from them was a sign that I had “made it.” Sometimes it’s easier on a kid’s ego to take big advice from someone other than Mom or Dad.
There are great financial planning resources out there. If your kids don’t want your money advice, leave this one to the experts (financial advisors, Financial Peace University, podcasts, web tutorials). It’s definitely worth equipping them with the tools, even if they’re not directly from you.
2. Fashion
My son wanted to wear a Pokémon shirt to his first day of middle school. I didn’t have strong feelings about his attire, but his older sister did. She told him to “go with something more neutral so he could test the waters,” and I found myself casually agreeing with her. He confidently shot back with, “My favorite Pokémon YouTuber said that wearing a Pokémon shirt will help me quickly find other people who like Pokémon.” Can’t argue with that logic. In this case, an influencer actually positively influenced my son, and he has a few Pokémon-lovin’ friends to show for it.
3. Health/Body
My husband and I still joke about when our son came home from school and said, “The dentist told us that we’re supposed to floss EVERY day.” You’re kidding, right?! The 900 times we told him didn’t penetrate, but one visit from a classroom guest turned around his dental hygiene routine.
When someone (doctor, dentist, teacher, coach) has a title other than Mom or Dad, it bumps his or her credibility. My kids usually come out of their annual well-visits with some nugget of inspiration to drink more water, eat less junk food, or find ways to be physically active. Their attitude about that information would be different had it come from me.
4. Talents/Hobbies
When our daughter was preparing for a thespian competition, her nerves kept getting the best of her. I gave her all kinds of tips, suggestions, and encouragement, but I might as well have been speaking a foreign language because it went in one ear and out the other. I signed her up for ONE voice lesson, and her 60 minutes with an expert produced a 180-degree turn in her confidence—even though the voice coach echoed many of the things I had already said.
Coaches make great mentors, and they’re able to give our kids an extra nudge to try new things, go out of their comfort zone, and believe in their abilities.
5. Faith
When my son started middle school youth group this year, something shifted in his eagerness and desire to connect with his faith. I can pinpoint that shift to when his youth leader, Josh, challenged him to read a Proverb a day. I am confident that my sixth grader wouldn’t have done that in response to my prompting. It was absolutely motivated by the encouragement of someone he looked up to and admired.
There’s no shortage of resources, experts, or input for our kids to absorb. More often than not, they just want us to be their encouraging and supporting mom rather than their coach, doctor, or constant adviser.
What topic would be hard for you to surrender to someone else?
