“It was probably just something she ate,” my husband and I confidently told ourselves after our toddler threw up once. Twenty hours later, “the something she ate” became more accurately identified as the stomach bug when it hit my husband and me. At that point, Emerson was physically all better, but seeing Mommy and Daddy so sick overwhelmed her. She responded by laying very still and isolating herself—one of the classic signs of stress in toddlers.
Even young children can experience everyday stress. However, don’t expect your 2-year-old to say, “Mommy, I feel stressed.” Instead, in addition to isolating themselves, the signs of stress in toddlers can include becoming overly clingy, unexplained tummy aches, emotional outbursts, and regressing developmentally. However, knowing the signs of stress in toddlers helps you quickly soothe your little one when these 5 common situations pop up.
1. A Change in Routine
Your little one thrives on routines. Routines give her a sense of stability and comfort because she can accurately predict what happens next in her day. But, when a routine changes, her little world can feel topsy-turvy and cause her stress. It doesn’t take much. For example, does Daddy usually handle bath time? She might melt down when he stays late at work, and you step in instead. It’s not about you giving her a bath. It’s about the change in routine.
How you can help: Give her a heads-up about the tweak. If she still seems stressed by the change, stay calm and identify and validate her feelings. For example: “Oh honey. I can tell you are upset about Daddy not being here for bath time. I understand that bath time is something you usually do with him.”
2. Being Separated From You
Does this scenario sound familiar? You drop your toddler off at the church nursery, just like you do every week, and then the separation anxiety starts to ramp up. The signs of stress in toddlers experiencing separation anxiety typically include crying or gripping a parent with the intensity of a python. It’s both heartbreaking and perfectly normal.
How you can help: Create a goodbye ritual with your little one to ease the stress of separation. Consider blowing kisses, a sweet goodbye hug, singing a song, or even a silly wave at the window. Over time, your little one will take comfort in the ritual and be reassured of your return.
3. Overstimulation at a Birthday Party, Amusement Park, Etc.
I can only spend about 30 minutes at one of those kids’ birthday party places. It’s just a lot for this adult (and most toddlers) to take in for long periods. Too much stimulation—bright lights, loud noises, busy environments—can lead to feeling overwhelmed. It’s why emotional outbursts and meltdowns occur like clockwork when it’s time to leave.
How you can help: If your toddler experiences a meltdown, step outside or away to a quieter place. Say: “I can see that it feels like too much. It is really loud. Let’s take a few minutes so you can get yourself together where it’s a little quieter.” You can also plan on playing some quiet music for the car ride home. I always played our lullaby playlist to help ease the signs of stress in our toddlers.
4. Going on Vacation
It’s important to head to your favorite vacation spot to unwind and spend quality time with your family. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean stress won’t sneak its way into your luggage—or your toddler’s feelings. Signs of stress in toddlers on vacation can look like a child refusing to use the potty though she’s been diaper-free for months or a little one who insists on sleeping in your bed instead of her own.
How you can help: Pack an extra bag of patience for vacation. Your little one will need your calming presence as he works through his big emotions. Plus, you’ll be prepared if he suddenly regresses during your travels. Be sure to bring along a few familiar items from home, too. They can help keep your child grounded and soothed. And, if possible, stick to a consistent bedtime and nap routine.
5. Welcoming a New Sibling
The arrival of a new baby can cause a toddler to feel less prioritized while also adjusting to a new family routine and a new little person. Not surprisingly, this could also usher in unexplained tummy aches and the like. Our oldest daughter’s right thumb, affectionately called “thumbkin,” started hurting her at random times, right around the time her baby sister arrived on the scene.
How you can help: Give your toddler lots of physical assurance. Hugs, snuggles, and rocking in your arms can go a long way to soothe your child’s stress. Plus, extra time with you gives her an anchor to hold onto during a stress storm. (By the way, tummy aches can be one of the signs of stress in toddlers or could point to an underlying medical condition. Trust your mommy instinct, and talk with your pediatrician.)
How do you help your toddler cope with everyday stress?
