My first son arrived 10 days before his due date. We left the house and headed to the hospital just before midnight after watching a Tampa Bay Rays/Boston Red Sox game go into extra innings. We left pizza boxes in the kitchen and our two cats to fend for themselves. When we returned home two days later, dazed, I didn’t smell old pizza or cat litter. My mother-in-law had treated us to a house cleaning. Coming home to clean floors and bathrooms literally brought me to tears while I was feeling all the new baby stress, and I’m fairly certain it was the cleanest the house was for the next two years.
When you have a baby at home, small things can feel like a huge help, like someone getting up to answer the door when you’re nursing. But even if you don’t have a helper or a mother-in-law who will treat you to a house cleaning, there are some things you can do to ease new baby stress. Here are 15 to try. Side note: That baby of mine is almost 11 and I think several of these ideas would still be helpful in making life less stressful.
1. Enjoy the silence.
As tempting as it is, don’t fill all your quiet time with TV, podcasts, or music. Leave yourself an hour to be alone with your thoughts.
2. Order groceries online.
I wish this had been an option when I was having my babies. Now, if the grocery trip is the only time you see other humans and you need your check-in with the deli lady, feel free to ignore this advice.
3. Have one assigned cleaning day.
When I see a mess, it nags at me until I clean it, but if I know there’s a plan for when it will get done, the voice isn’t as loud. Don’t take time away from your baby to dust. The dust will still be there on cleaning day.
4. Get outside.
If you’re only going to do one thing on this list to deal with new baby stress, make it this one. Vitamin D, fresh air, and the sounds of nature are restorative.
5. Make a plan with your husband.
My husband worked long hours. I didn’t see the point in both of us being tired, so I got up at night to nurse, change, and burp the baby. Because it was the plan, I wasn’t bitter. Tired, yes. Bitter, no. Avoid adding stress to your marriage by making a plan that works for you and your husband.
6. Feel free to say no visitors.
There’s nothing worse than finally getting the baby to sleep or getting down for a nap yourself and your phone buzzing saying someone is on her way over. Moms to newborns have every right to refuse visitors.
7. Cut back on the internet.
I think most of my visits to social media left me feeling more drained than when I started. Leave yourself a designated window of time during the day to post photos or check in. And avoid WebMD for issues with the baby. That never ends well.
8. Keep perspective.
She won’t be in diapers forever. Sleep will return. The crying will stop. Whatever is hardest for you about this phase of parenting won’t last forever. There’s a new hard (and a new wonderful) right around the corner!
9. Set your wardrobe.
If you have to see people other than your baby and need to wear something other than t-shirts covered in spit-up, pick out five outfits and rotate them. Your laundry will be minimized and so will the stress of finding something that fits.
10. Make your house work for you.
Want to give baths on the kitchen counter? Change diapers in the living room? Do what works for you and makes life more convenient. We had a cute changing table in the baby’s room but changed most diapers in a Pack ‘n Play by the TV.
11. Be the mom you want to be and no one else.
Organic? Active? Extroverted? If it’s not your thing, don’t do it. Don’t let pressure from other moms turn you into a mom you’re not.
12. When people ask you what you need, don’t say “nothing.”
This one might be the hardest, but when people offer to help, don’t assume they’re just being nice. Say yes and practice delegating. Think outside the kitchen—let a helper walk the dog, mow the lawn, or fold laundry while you and the baby nap.
13. Don’t skip your showers.
Most new moms don’t know how good a shower feels until they’ve had one. Just standing under the warm water and getting all the smells off of you can be an instant stress reliever.
14. Keep a small checklist.
By small, I mean like two or three things. When you’re on the hamster wheel of feeding, changing, napping, repeat, adding easy tasks like calling your mom or going through the bill box will help you feel like you’re getting something accomplished.
15. Sleep when the baby sleeps.
I put this one last because it’s my least favorite piece of advice for dealing with new baby stress. I never wanted to sleep when the baby did because I finally felt like I had my time to myself. Then, because I wouldn’t nap, I felt guilty for mistreating my body. Lack of sleep is brutal. Take naps. Period.
What’s the best thing to do to help with new baby stress?
