“We’d love to have your daughter stay for a sleepover, but our little girl is still climbing into bed with us every night.” My friend’s daughter was 7, so what started as sweet and cuddly at age 3 had officially turned into a “situation.” She admitted she wished she’d nipped the habit back when it started years ago. I understood. Once we transitioned our daughter into a big bed, I thought she would play in it with her toys and wait for me to come greet her in the morning. I was dreaming!
The reality has looked more like a toddler snuggling at the foot of my bed in the middle of the night, wedging herself between my husband and me, tears at the very idea of sleeping in her bed, and much frustration on our part as parents. We knew we had to do something. If you need ideas for how to get your toddler to sleep in her own bed, here are 4 things to try.
1. Emphasize the importance of Mommy and Daddy sleeping in the same bed.
She would frequently get into bed and physically kick my husband out. This was a challenge to our authority and the structure of our family. Although it’s difficult for small children to understand, it’s important to show them that some spaces are not theirs to take over, and your bed is one of them. We put our feet down and told her Mommy and Daddy’s relationship is important, and our bed is our place, not a family space. We made an effort to give her extra attention in her room to help create positive, loving connections there.
2. Emphasize sleeping somewhere safe.
Our house, a rental, has bedroom doors that do not lock. Our daughter was a genius at opening doors with toys and stacked books. We would shut her in her room safely and she would open it and wander in the middle of the night. She would see no room in the bed, remember what we told her, and then sleep on the floor behind a chair in the living room or under the rocking chair in our room. We were scared on more than one occasion when we were unable to find her. So we emphasized sleeping somewhere safe and offered a small love seat in our room instead. That clicked with her.
3. Try moving your child gradually.
Like the love seat in my room, if you have a spot your child can move to that’s not your bed, try that first. Make it a game, like stepping stones. “Tonight, you can sleep at the foot of our bed. Tomorrow we’ll make you a spot on the floor. The next night, we’ll put a sleeping bag on the floor in your room, and then on Thursday, you’ll hop into your own bed!”
4. Firmly emphasize healthy choices.
There came a time when we were at a standstill. I finally told her because she was growing fast and strong, it was a healthy decision to sleep in a bed. It was not a healthy decision to sleep on the love seat, where soon, she would not be able to stretch out completely. She cried and gave me a look that made me feel like a horrible mom, but I knew I had to stand my ground. Try our You Can Do It printable to motivate your child to make the good choice every night for 10 nights straight, and celebrate when she hits day 10.
How have you transitioned your toddler to a big bed?
