Heads up: Plants can’t grow in seven days. A procrastinator, I waited way too long to start my sixth-grade science project. While I could paste the “Procedure” and “Hypothesis” labels on the tri-fold board the night before the project was due, I could not, in fact, make the plants in my experiment grow before nature gave the green light.
Fast-forward 30 years, and I’ve noticed my kids put off work, too. I want to help them, especially because research shows links between procrastination and fatigue, anxiety, and breakdowns. If you have a child who waits until the last minute, here are 5 ideas for how to motivate a procrastinator based on 5 common reasons kids procrastinate.
Reason #1 Kids Procrastinate: Perfectionism and Fear of Failure
They think, I can’t start until I know how to do it perfectly. Because if I start wrong, then it’s going to be wrong, and it can’t be wrong.
It’s easy for paralysis to set in with thoughts like that. For perfectionist kids, procrastination is a decision not to act. It’s a coping mechanism to avoid the stress of making an incorrect choice and possibly failing.
How to motivate a procrastinator—focus on the process, not just the outcome. I remember my son staring at a pile of Legos and saying, “I can’t make anything cool.” I replied, “Then don’t worry about what it’s going to end up being. Just have fun.” This gave him permission to get started because the goal was fun, not perfection.
Reason #2 Kids Procrastinate: Fear of Criticism
They think, I don’t want to start because I know someone (maybe my inner voice) will say something critical, and I don’t want to hear it.
Imagine a child staring at a question like, “What were the weaknesses of the Articles of Confederation?” If he struggles with writing and anticipates getting his paper back covered in red pen, it makes sense he’d put it off. A groundbreaking study out of DePaul University found that many students procrastinate as a form of self-sabotage motivated by a fear of criticism. If they put off starting an assignment and failed, they could blame the failure on the time crunch and not their own skill or intelligence.
How to motivate a procrastinator—be your child’s biggest cheerleader in all things. He’ll be less likely to fear criticism and put off work if he’s used to hearing encouraging words from Mom. Looking for ideas for encouraging words? Try our 30-Day Encouragement Challenge to boost your child’s self esteem.
Reason #3 Kids Procrastinate: Lack of Discipline
They think, That work is difficult, and I’d rather do something less uncomfortable and more enjoyable.
It’s more appealing to do a pleasurable task at the get-go and wait to complete a tough one until a deadline is looming. That’s just a fact of life. When my son looks down his list of homework assignments, math is always at the bottom because it’s the least enjoyable for him. He’d rather review vocab words. When we know what we have to do but can’t bring ourselves to do it, it’s a gap between intention and action.
How to motivate a procrastinator—consider how a task can be made more fun. My friend has a “math chair” in her den. To encourage her daughter to tackle math first and not procrastinate, she lets her sit in the big comfy chair which is next to a table where Mom puts an endless supply of pretzels and Nutella.
Reason #4 Kids Procrastinate: Lack of Understanding
They think, I can’t start because I don’t get it.
Devon Price, Ph.D. author of Laziness Does Not Exist, points out that kids who procrastinate are often mistakenly accused of not caring. He says, “Procrastination is more likely when the task is meaningful.” A child who cares but doesn’t know how to take the initial steps in an assignment or is confused by the instructions will naturally put off starting. If he didn’t care, he’d just wing it!
How to motivate a procrastinator—give instructions in a different way or give him language to use with his teacher to ask for clarification, like “I’m confused. Can you help me figure out the first steps I should take?”
Reason #5 Kids Procrastinate: Feeling Overwhelmed
They think, This is too big. I don’t even know where to begin.
For three weekends, I told my son he had to refold the clothes in his dresser. He was overwhelmed by the four huge drawers filled with balled-up clothing. We’ve all felt this way before and put off a daunting task.
How to motivate a procrastinator—teach “divide and conquer.” One of my favorite things to say to my kids is, “How do you eat an elephant?” They reply (with negative levels of enthusiasm), “One bite at a tiiiiime.” Teach your procrastinator to look at big tasks as a bunch of small tasks combined and tackle them one by one.
Bonus Reason: Thrill Seeking
As a writer, I’d be remiss if I didn’t add that I know from experience (and research backs) the rush of adrenaline you get from waiting until the last minute, feeling the pressure, and coming in just under the wire.
But procrastination will eventually bite you in the rear, so teach your kids the risk isn’t worth the rush. This might mean not helping them with their last-minute science projects and allowing natural consequences to kick in. Their college-aged selves will thank you!
Which of these reasons for procrastination sounds like it fits your child?
