“Yeah, uh huh,” I said absentmindedly to my teenage daughter. “Are you even listening to me?” she replied with a suspicious look. “Yes!” I said. “I’m sorry. I just thought I got a text from Dad.” Later that evening, while talking about plans for the weekend, I looked up to see my daughter nodding but looking at her phone. “What?” she said. “I’m still listening to everything you’re saying.” And maybe she was, but it didn’t feel good to talk to someone who’s half-listening, so I understood how my daughter felt when I did it to her.
Our world is so fast-paced that it’s easy to bypass good manners—manners we really do think are important to teach our kids—for the sake of efficiency. Here are 5 examples of good manners that are worth being intentional about, even in the midst of a busy day.
1. Listening With Your Full Attention
In today’s world, it’s not uncommon or even considered rude for us to sit at lunch together with our phones out, looking at them while continuing live conversations. And for moms, it comes from a good place—we often want to be available in case something urgent comes up with our kids. Yet our attention, eye contact, and even our minds, are not fully devoted to the person we’re talking to. Listening with your full attention is worth slowing down to model. It makes others feel valued and heard, and we definitely want our kids to practice it when we’re the ones talking.
2. Introducing Yourself and Others
I’m honestly terrible at this one. When I’m around someone I don’t know, like a fellow parent I’m meeting for the first time at a school function, I’m either distracted by my own agenda or feeling shy and uncomfortable. Frankly, sometimes it seems easier to avoid an introduction. But according to Indeed.com, introducing yourself in person is an extremely valuable action, especially in an increasingly virtual world. It can “allow you to create connections and establish trust with others.” In addition to trust, stopping to make an introduction will show kids how to be friendly, brave, and considerate.
3. Driving With Kindness and Patience
Oh boy. This one is really tough when we’re in a hurry, and it seems like I’m almost always in a hurry. But now I have two teenage drivers and a third one who is getting close to driving age, so they are watching my every turn. Why we tend to lose all manners when we drive, I have no idea. But I do know that it is possible to show kindness and patience while driving if we keep it in the forefront of our minds. What does that look like for you? For me, letting people merge, not sharing frustrations out loud while driving, and generally slowing down to “get there when we get there” helps me maintain my cool and be a good example.
4. Arriving on Time
No doubt, things will delay us (especially when kids are involved), but are we still trying to arrive on time, or are we just giving up? Being on time is a valuable part of demonstrating good manners. It shows others that we respect them and their time, and it helps build trust in the relationship. If you’re going to be late, let the other person know. Do this with your kids, too, and you’ll find that they’ll reciprocate it when you’re the one waiting on them to pull in the driveway at curfew.
5. Following Through With Your Yeses
I have a friend who cancels our plans at least 80 percent of the time. Yes, she’s busy. But I’m busy, too, and honestly, it feels like I’m not very important in her life. Have you ever experienced this situation? Be choosey about the times you cancel. Make it your goal to be a person people can count on, and your kids will be more likely to do the same.
How do you show examples of good manners in the midst of a busy life?
