“Can I just use ChatGPT to write my application for the honor society?” my son asked with a sly smile. “As much as I love irony, I’m gonna have to say no,” I replied. As he closed his computer, I thought about how being a mom is hard today, and I felt envious of my own mom for not having to deal with A.I. when she was raising me and my sister.
Wouldn’t it be easier if our kids were growing up in the same world we did? I’d be great at teaching my kids how to share a phoneline and scanning song lyrics on a CD booklet. I’m not saying we have it harder than other generations did. It’s just different, and different can be scary. But despite these 5 reasons being a mom is hard, there’s also one truth you can hold on to.
1. Just when you think you’re doing it right, your feed refreshes.
What’s your parenting style this week? I’m kidding, but not. A friend forwarded an Instagram post and said, “Have you guys heard of conscious parenting?” and I replied, “Wait. I thought we were all about authoritative parenting.”
Being a mom is hard enough without all of the opinions on social media. Thanks to the constant flow of influencers, “What’s the right way to do it?” can echo so loudly that we can’t hear our inner voices speak.
2. Technology feels like a must today, not an option.
“My daughter’s teacher told everyone to download this app to turn in homework. But she doesn’t have a phone! This is so aggravating.” I could feel the heat coming off my friend’s text, and I understood. If you feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle against tech seeping into every crevice of your child’s life, you’re not alone. It’s disheartening to want to do the right thing but feel incapable of doing so.
3. We’re supposed to stop trying and try at the same time.
“Mama, give yourself grace…” Yep. I’ve heard it. I’ve said it. I’ve written it. But there’s still this little voice in my head that says “but keep trying to do more.” We’re told that we don’t have to climb the corporate ladder and be crafty and have the perfect home and dress in the right cut jeans—and man, do we want so badly to believe that. But then we see our friend do it and think if she can do it all, then what’s wrong with me?
We know the expectations put on women are unrealistic, but we also celebrate the moms who are killing it because, wow! They’re incredible. It’s difficult to let both of those truths exist in our minds and not wonder if we’re falling short in some way.
4. It’s so hard to keep up.
When I wrote an article about kids doing “nose cover” in photos, the response I got from most people was, “I’ve never heard of this,” which was followed by, “I just can’t keep up.” Slang, hashtags, trends, apps, platforms… Ignoring it all is tempting, knowing whatever is in today will be out tomorrow. But when your kids’ safety is at stake, you have to stay engaged.
5. We’re more aware of mental health (which is great but overwhelming).
More than any other issue, parents today worry that their children might struggle with anxiety or depression at some point, according to a study by Pew Research. We know enough about mental health to be on the lookout, but not enough to feel equipped to help them, and that’s a lot for us to carry.
We know kids can get depressed and they can die by suicide. We’ve also heard stories of parents being completely in the dark that their kids were struggling. We don’t feel prepared for the mental health crisis our kids are facing post-pandemic, and it feels like uncharted territory for everyone, not just parents.
If you’re worried that getting help for your child might send him a message that there’s something wrong with him, you have to let that go. According to the CDC, in 2019, 1 in 10 kids saw a therapist. Therapy helps kids understand that they are normal and gives them healthy coping skills that can serve them for life. Here’s a resource for you to find help.
But, Mom, as hard as it is to be us in 2024…
We were chosen to be moms right now for a reason. If it’s no accident that this is the age we’re parenting in, then I believe we’ll be given what we need to face all the things we’re tempted to hide from. Our moms and their moms didn’t think parenting was a breeze. I think they’d tell us that with each challenge came a wise word from a friend or a moment of peace that gave them the courage and strength to work through it. You are equipped for this challenge and capable of rising to it. You’re getting stronger and more capable every day.
What gives you strength when you feel like being a mom is hard?
